EFF_OCD

Date posted: 3y

Narcissists and relationships

Does anyone else feel like bc they have OCD, they have attracted narcissistic partners in the past. I guess the best person to manipulate and gaslight would be a doubter (I think it’s safe to say anyone with OCD has a doubting problem lol). I literally can look back on events and doubt if the person was “as bad” as I have it in my mind. My biggest fear is ever being the corrupt one in a relationship and not getting things exactly right. I downplay the other persons actions and obsess about what I did wrong. I’ll blame myself and think “well maybe it wasn’t that bad and you can’t remember it correctly”. I feel like I never even know how I even feel about an ex or what happened/who’s fault it was that it was a breakup. As much as I’ve been gaslighted, I guess I gaslight myself just as much now. It’s exhausting.

Relationship OCD

yun444g

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

I relate to this a lot. I’ve noticed I’ve attracted lots of friends who tend to have big and opinionated types of personalities, which works in some ways but the more that time has gone on the more I’ve honestly resented that. I’ve also had two long-term girlfriends who ended up having rather rigid & unforgiving tendencies, which makes me honestly just want to find some friends who are way more chill and patient. The more time I’ve spent alone recently, the more I’ve realized how controlling and almost suffocating each relationship I’ve had was—whether it’s friends, girlfriends, or family. Lol

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 3y

YES. Omg. Totally relatable. I almost attract bossy bold friends bc I am the one who always feels “unsure” and I end up getting tossed around like I don’t matter. It’s hard 🤷🏼‍♀️

yun444g

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@hfair121691 Yes it is hard! I’m glad you can relate though! Yeah idk about you but it never used to bother me before, I guess because my dad was always like that so it just felt natural. Now I actually want to have a voice of my own for once. Lol

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 3y

@yun444g I feel like so many people with ocd and laidback pushovers on the outside yet on the inside a war is going on inside our head. That’s the best way to describe it 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 3y

@yun444g Are *

yun444g

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@hfair121691 So so so true. Also, idk you can relate to this, but one of my biggest triggers involves that—wondering if I’m being treated unfairly (because I AM laidback), and then obsessing over whether or not some sort of confrontation is necessary. Especially since we’re told all the time that we should always stick up for ourselves, stand our ground, don’t get walked on, etc, so my mind takes that to an extreme. Definitely an unusual form on OCD though lmao.

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 3y

@yun444g Wow. Legit wondering if we are spirit animals because that’s literally the exact thoughts I have. “When do I stand up. Is it time. Should I say something. Am I just a doormat.” Haha I really think there’s unusual form of OCD at this point. It likes to grab on anything these days 😅😂

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 3y

@yun444g There’s not an unusual *

yun444g

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@hfair121691 So so true! And hey I’m so glad to hear that you can relate so much hah! It’s really tough. I think there’s a morality obsession that lies at the pit of this, but pertaining to many questions. Like, am I being untruthful for NOT speaking up? Am I getting truly what I deserve out of this friendship? Why am I obsessing in the first place? Do other people obsess? Do I feel guilty or angry toward the other person, which one is it? The list goes on and ONNNN 😫 lol

Tiinalien

Date posted: 3y

Yep....so much yep.

ellij

Date posted: 13w

ROCD flare up

Lately my ROCD has been flaring up, making it difficult to even be around my partner. I’m having so many troubling thoughts with the one that bugs me most being, “maybe this isn’t my OCD, maybe I’m just in a bad relationship and I’m trying to cover it up and blame it on OCD”. This thought really scares me because there are valid doubts in my relationship but my boyfriend and I have openly talked about them and are trying to work through. My OCD won’t take that as an option tho. It makes me feel like I need to be 100% certain that these things can NEVER happen again or else we need to break up immediately. So anything he says in that moment about trying to do better, my OCD will not trust anything he says and just wait until the next “bad thing” happens. When I continuously bring these things up to my boyfriend even tho nothing has happened between these conversations, it exhausts him making it feel like he can never do enough. I feel so bad because I know it’s just my OCD getting in the way. But then that thought creeps in saying I can’t trust him because I need to protect myself. It’s just an ongoing cycle that is so tiring. I don’t even know what I want anymore. We are very opposite when it comes to emotions. I am very in tune and very emotionally intelligent, and he is not. He is the opposite. I do recognize that my anxious attachment style may be hard for him too but I can’t stop thinking about all of his flaws and all of the things he needs to do to make our relationship better. It makes me feel like I’m the only one putting in effort when in reality that is not true. But my OCD does make me feel like he doesn’t really love me or want to be with me and that he feels forced to be with me or do things for me. It makes me feel like him being with me is like a chore. Can anyone relate? My OCD just makes me feel like I can’t trust anything he says to make our relationship better.

Relationship OCD

Summ3r_

Date posted: 10w

ocd and being a covert narcissist

I’ve had off and on fears and thoughts of being a narcissist but at this point it doesn’t feel like a fear anymore it feels true and it feels like it all makes sense the more I learn about narcissism. I’ve even put the label on myself and have been monitoring all my social interacts and motivations. I don’t know if telling myself I’m a narcissist causes me to act more narcissistic either. I have some specific examples and factors to talk about that might be too long to post, so if I can talk about them to anyone on here I’d appreciate it 😭🙏

Unstoppable ...

Date posted: 7w

Relationship OCD

Hi I'm new to all of this so I hope I'm doing this right. 5 years ago my 34 year marriage ended. My ex husband was a mentally and financially abusive, covert narcissist. All that is behind me now and I'm finally remembering who I am again. I'm in a relationship with a really great guy but the problem I'm having is relationship OCD. This has taken me by surprise really as I've had OCD from a very young age but never has it been about my relationship. I constantly check messages and go over and over conversations and convince myself my partner will eventually cheat. Almost every single person in his life I can feel threatened by and I hate this for him and also for me as I don't have any peace of mind. This is ruining the lovely relationship I know I could have so I really need to get a handle on it. Has anybody else experienced this and managed to control it?

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Narcissists and relationships

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