Being used for your “ocd”

Ever since I was a kid I was obsessed with a lot to deal with order and symmetry and I expressed that in the since of perfecting lining up things and being obsessed with organization and things all being proper. Growing up it started reflecting in different obsessions as not being able to eat until i walked a perfect circle around the kitchen table and having to check every door I locked 3 times before accepting it was locked and throughout all of this my parents and sister always I felt used to me to keep their stuff in order wether it be cleaning there room or doing things just because of the way I acted which very much worsened my obsessions around them and at the time i they always were like it’s such a gift you have the modivation to do all this stuff and always laugh about my ocd as it was a joke. Where as in mind side i always felt the world would end if the shoes in my closet were lined up correctly and more recently I’ve struggled with a lot of suicidal ideations about not “doing things correctly” and it’s pushed me to do things in order to prove that what I’m going through is not just a joke.