Can someone tell me if this is a real crush? Anytime I hear my female coworkers name or anything that involves her I get really nervous. I feel like when she is around I also get nervous and start acting weird and uncomfortable. I sometimes will think to myself wow she’s awesome and then I’m like nervous all over again and I imagine myself having a life with her and I think I like it? And then I imagine myself being sexual with her and I can’t tell if it makes me uncomfortable or if I want it. Also when she’s around, I can’t stop these thoughts. In the past, when I’ve had a crush, it has felt like this and I would wish the thoughts would stop so i could focus on myself and my work. Ive been obsessive about past crushes in this same way. I feel like I’ve had the thought once of like oh maybe I have a crush on this person and now I can’t think of them any other way. I truly can’t tell what it is but it makes me uncomfortable. I feel like I can’t say oh it’s hocd because it really does feel like past crushes. I get so nervous around her. I imagine myself kissing her and it first it feels warm, like I do want it and then I immediately get anxious. I feel like the anxiety is coming from denial and not from hocd. I can’t calm down and I can’t stop thinking about it. It makes me sad and I can’t think about my boyfriend now without feeling like I’ve betrayed him and myself and now I feel like I don’t like my boyfriend.

So I identify as a lesbian and I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful girl. But i’m stressing that I have crushes on boys I go to school with. I get anxious around them, which I think I mistake for excitement. I obsess over it in my head which confuses me a lot. Idk I also never think about them sexually or romantically but I think about them often which is scaring me. Any advice?

As I’ve posted before, my friends has developed TOUGH hocd and has hit rock bottom :// She told me to ask y’all here if any of you have had a similar experience NOT reassurance (she doesn’t have NOCD). “Hi NOCD community. When I was like 5 I had this distant female cousin whom I played with and grew up. She had super short hair like a boy, but we low key had same interests in toys/tv series etc. and then at THAT age I got a very weird though which said: do you like her? And I remember getting a lot of anxiety and my stomach hurting cause why tf would I have that kind of thought about my female cousin? I remember ruminating about it the whole day, and the next day that thought disappeared and I never had that thought again. We grew up and obviously she’s my family like my sister. But now that I have HOCD, I keep thinking about that memory and I have so much anxiety about it and cry often about it. While growing up I’ve only had crushes on tons of boys at school etc. has anyone had a similar experience?” Thanks for reading if u did! We need support 😭🙏🏻

I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments