Can someone tell me if this is a real crush? Anytime I hear my female coworkers name or anything that involves her I get really nervous. I feel like when she is around I also get nervous and start acting weird and uncomfortable. I sometimes will think to myself wow she’s awesome and then I’m like nervous all over again and I imagine myself having a life with her and I think I like it? And then I imagine myself being sexual with her and I can’t tell if it makes me uncomfortable or if I want it. Also when she’s around, I can’t stop these thoughts. In the past, when I’ve had a crush, it has felt like this and I would wish the thoughts would stop so i could focus on myself and my work. Ive been obsessive about past crushes in this same way. I feel like I’ve had the thought once of like oh maybe I have a crush on this person and now I can’t think of them any other way. I truly can’t tell what it is but it makes me uncomfortable. I feel like I can’t say oh it’s hocd because it really does feel like past crushes. I get so nervous around her. I imagine myself kissing her and it first it feels warm, like I do want it and then I immediately get anxious. I feel like the anxiety is coming from denial and not from hocd. I can’t calm down and I can’t stop thinking about it. It makes me sad and I can’t think about my boyfriend now without feeling like I’ve betrayed him and myself and now I feel like I don’t like my boyfriend.