How does POCD affect you? What are some triggers and compulsions that you have? Also how does it affect your normal life? I’m just trying to figure out how many ways this affects people because I feel like this has made my life a living nightmare.
I have terrible POCD and it effects my life every single day I throw up sometimes I get suicidal, I have two children and one of them is still in nappies so I have to change her bum numerous times a day it sends me into a state! Also bathing them, I also have a step daughter and of course I wash her clothes (including pants) that freaks me out to the max! I used to ring my whole family and boyfriend to get reassurance that I’m not a pedo but I’m trying to stopping doing that! Also I have to do the school runs twice a day so seeing kids in skirts and stuff like that freaks me out it’s so hard to deal with hardest thing I’ve ever been through!!
Do you feel like you’re wanting to do these actions like against your will? Like you think that your subconscious and having these thoughts are going to cause you to do something terrible? I think that’s what’s killing me the most
@Unknown 1 Yes I do!! So so bad!
@Kasey2001 Thank you so much for reaching out to my post. I know you’re not supposed to seek reassurance but it feels nice knowing you’re not alone. Mine never started until I figured out a year ago that I was molested when I was 8 months old as a baby girl and it’s destroyed me literally
@Unknown 1 I’m here for you if you ever need to speak I’m here honestly I have your back, it’s so awful I wish the theme would change! I was raped a few years ago and I think that’s where this stems from too! X
When I have a better day and I get comfortable with the thought and try to accept it it’s like ‘see your getting comfortable with it because you are a pedo’
Hi Unknown 1, my POCD gets triggered by thoughts about children, hearing and seeing children, on screen, or in real life, being in the vicinity of children. Also anything remotely sexual makes me careful and watchful, if thoughts about children pop up, too.
I have the same exact symptoms and emotions. Do you ever get scared that you’re going to do something terrible even though you don’t want to be these terrible things that you think of
I'm not that much worried to actually rape a child, as that would require a series of actions/movements and I could stop that and I'm sure, I would. My main issues are that even only slightly touching a child, even unintentionally, like with my elbow, or shoelace (yes, one of the items I'm deeple worried about and try to cover up with socks, or under my pants), etc. freaks me out and with the wrong thought, or motivation accompanying it, it equals molesting a child to me, but that only goes for me, when I see my sister snuggling the living daylight out of her children, I never think she is harming them. Then the other thing is that I'm worried there might a child present, when engaging in sex, using the toilet, taking a shower, etc., and I could accidentally touch them, when for example having my eyes closed, when rinsing out shampoo. Then there is the false memory part of my POCD constantly worried, that I have done something to a child in the past. There is much, much more to it, but those three worries sum it up pretty well.
I know there are a lo of different subtypes but I'm really curious as to which one has affected you the most, please comment down below and feel free to also share where and hoe you believe it has affected your life, I believe it's great for self reflection and just to let it off our chests. For me it's been Inc*st OCD! That shit has been the hardest subtype for me. Not only has it affected my relationship with my siblings by convincing me that I like them (which never used to happen at all before developing a strong case of IOCD) and making me feel weird and ashamed. It has also affected how I see families😭 for example I'll be watching a series or something and there would be siblings in the show and my mind would directly fly to incest and not only for shows but irl as well...I can't imagine going out to see my friends and their families or my own extended family in general because wtf!! I just feel like in my case all the other subtypes are nothing compared to this bad boy, but I know it's not the same for everyone so which one has affected you the most and how? (This is not to bring down the severity of the other subtypes istg, it's just for conversations sake)
I’m honestly getting frustrated seeing so many comments in POCD spaces that just show a lack of understanding. In the last few months, I’ve seen a multiple replies like *“well you do sound like a p”* when someone posts about engaging in compulsions like checking, or comments that go, *“you might be a p, but only you can judge that.”* These kinds of replies are harmful and completely unhelpful. POCD is about unwanted, intrusive thoughts, and actions like checking, masturbating, or staring at triggers are compulsions that come from the anxiety those thoughts create. They don’t mean anything about who we are. Yet, there’s a growing trend of people responding in a way that makes it sound like those compulsions AND any **doubts** are “proof” of something, and that’s just not true. ***This is literally a doubting disorder*** If you don’t fully understand POCD, it’s okay to step back before commenting. Let’s be more compassionate and educated in our responses, so we can create a space where people feel supported.
I feel so alone. Has anyone done what I've done with POCD?
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