Anyone here actually have same sex fantasies that really turn you on, but you don’t want to act on them? That’s what’s causing the confusion for me. I have intense, super arousing same sex fantasies that make me feel very detached from reality. I don’t want them in reality but I can’t deny that I have them. I don’t want to be in a same sex relationship but how can I even say that at this point?

I thought maybe you’d respond to this

@Cassandragoth I have a friend who feels the same way. She is aroused by women but is pretty sure she wouldn’t date a woman. It feels like two separate experiences. Like I can find women sexually appealing but not want to have sex with them. Or maybe I do? But it wouldn’t be for any reason other than fantasy. I’m so open to it though and that’s why I feel like I keep getting stuck. Like it’s a sexual turn on but then when I’m turned on I want to be with a man. Idk if that makes sense.

@polishgirl I have watched porn and that’s mostly where the fantasy comes from. I enjoy looking at nude women, I can sometimes think about engaging in sexual activity with them, but usually I don’t want to. It doesn’t feel right. It just feels like a fantasy. It turns me on but I don’t want to do it.

@Cassandragoth I think I am going to try not to watch porn for awhile… maybe forever.

@polishgirl I’m 25, almost 26! I’ve been going to therapy for the past 2 years (it’s been helpful but I have a hard time helping myself with the tools). I’ve been off and on with my ex (we’ve decided to still be together even though neither of us are ready for long term commitment). I’ve had hocd for the past 2.5 years. There have been times where I’ve been fine and the thoughts didn’t bother me or mean anything and then other times when it causes a lot of distress. I’ll go between hocd and ROCD (one will take over when the other is dormant). I have the same experience as you. Sex is a huge trigger for me too. For hocd and ROCD. I’ve learned that I have to focus on the emotional connection with him during sex and I need a ton of foreplay. If I’m not feeling good we don’t do it. Afterwards, he hugs me and cuddles me and that really helps. We also sometimes joke about it because it is kinda silly. He will say, oh you seem to have no problem while my dick is in you. But then I’ll still question it lol. But yeah. I think you’re going to be okay, and also, you already are ok. There’s no threat. We got this.

@polishgirl Do you have constant anxiety that’s just there no matter what and you think it’s maybe caused by “denying your sexuality” or “being in the wrong relationship”

Do you worry that you’ll never be fulfilled with your boyfriend?