Death OCD, please help

I'm having what I call "Death OCD." I don't even know if it's OCD. Ironically, I feel like it's going to be the death of me. It's been going on for a few months now and not a single day or even hour has passed by without my mind thinking about this. It's basically about how now I'm 16 but I'll be 76 eventually and I won't even know. I am so scared of time passing, but there is nothing I can do about it. I am terrified of death, and I often wonder how I will feel when I take my last breath, what my final thoughts and feelings will be. How will it happen? The possibilities are quite endless. What will happen after I die? Will I just cease to exist? Will I be reincarnated? Would I go to heaven or hell? It's inevitable. With every breath, I draw closer to it. The end of me, the end of everything? Sometimes I find myself frantically searching the Internet for ways to be immortal. (Singularity, longevity, etc.) Sometimes I find myself finding solace in religion. I've asked every single person I know about their thoughts on this, and they're so tired of me. They ask me if this is some kind of daily script from me at this point. Whenever I am with someone, I imagine their death. Whenever I see someone enjoying themselves, I wonder if they know they're going to die someday. Whenever I am watching a show, I wonder if the characters know. I think I'm going insane. I've been professionally diagnosed with OCD and I am on medicine. (I believe Prodep 20mg) It's not working. I am losing it.

Existential OCD

Jojo💕

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

I understand you completely I know how scary it is to think about these things. I’ve dealt with this over and over again, time is slower than we think and it generally is not important it’s just a measurement for management. Have faith in your religion, I know sometimes it’s difficult but god, whoever you believe in is with you and loves you. All will be ok

Date posted: 3y

This is my main OCD too. It causes me severe, crippling panic. My panic was constant for about a week after I had a mental breakdown on Easter this year. I am blessed to have had resources around me to help me find a therapist and medicine, and both these have helped me to (over the last four months) slowly start to have more good (or at least neutral) days than bad days in a week. My therapist is teaching me to learn to sit with the anxiety and accept it. This is crazy hard, but I know it is the only thing that will start to heal me. I’m a Christian and it hurts so much to question life, death, the existence of God, and everything’s purpose. One thing that helps me while I try to sit with the OCD panic is knowing that I (and you and literally every human ever) don’t have the answers and can’t have the answers. I think God did that purposefully because it would be too much for our human brains to understand everything. Creator didn’t create us to live fear-filled lives of constant panic and sadness, and they are there for us even when we doubt; even when we don’t feel them. I can’t reassure you with anything, because 1) I don’t have the answers either, 2) reassurance actually makes the OCD worse, 3) I’m literally struggling with the panic as I write this. All I know is: you’re not alone. I’m not alone. All humans have these worries, our OCD just makes it harder for us to accept and move on from the thoughts. We just have to do a little more work than non-OCD people, but all people question existence. So, we got this. It doesn’t feel like it right now, but you’re not alone. I feel this too. We will survive. One day at a time. One breath at a time. 🤍 sending my love

Jojo💕

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Well said and yes this theme is very difficult, I’m happy you keep your beliefs I am trying to reinstall mine my relationship with god and the other side is important and I can’t let ocd take it from me or any more time

Sparkle1984

Date posted: 25w

Is my anxiety actually pure OCD? (Existential)

I have had anxiety episodes on and off for most of my life, and when I was 28 I went to the doctor's and was diagnosed with GAD. I'm currently in therapy as well. But sometimes I wonder if my GAD is actually Pure OCD. One of the main themes of my anxiety at the moment is the fear of death and dying. This is how my thought processes typically work: I'll see someone (eg my parents or other family members), and then I think about their age. If they are old, this sets me thinking morbid thoughts, eg worrying that the person may die within a few years. If they are younger than me, I feel sad that I'll never be that young again. Then it sets me off thinking about how I myself am getting older. Then I worry about how I'll feel when I'm older. For example, I think "when I'm in my 70s or 80s will I be constantly worried about dying?" and "will I be able to enjoy myself when I'm old or will I be too worried?" (Here I'm actually worried that I'll be worried when I'm older - ie I'm worrying about worrying!) I then think how sad/disappointed I'll be if I don't get to do everything I wanted to do during my life. I also worry about what happens when someone dies (in the spiritual sense). I do believe in heaven and spirits, but being a scientifically-minded person I do sometimes get doubts about it, since it is difficult to believe in something when there's not much concrete evidence. The doubts make me feel worse. When I try to ignore these negative morbid thoughts, I then get a nagging feeling saying "doesn't it bother you that you and your loved ones will die one day?" and then the fear starts again. I also sometimes feel guilty about having these morbid thoughts, because it's bad to think about your loved ones dying and yourself dying. It also makes me feel that because I'm so scared of dying, I'm being ungrateful for life. But in reality I am grateful for life and I want to be able to enjoy it without these intrusive negative thoughts. I worry about the speed of time. For example, I can't believe the first 2 months of 2025 are nearly over! I worry "will I get old before I know it?" and "will I be dead and buried before I know it?" Even when there's no specific trigger, I can feel the existential thoughts in the back of my mind all the time, even when I'm doing things I would usually enjoy. I am autistic, and because of that I feel emotionally and mentally younger than my real age, like age dysphoria. All my life, I have felt younger than my real age, even in my childhood and teenage years!

ana444

Date posted: 23w

Been obsessed with death

Of course we can’t stop the inevitable but with my ocd it’s all I can think about. I’m afraid I’ll be alone for ever and I’ll fear forever. Fear does not stop death it stops life. But how do I stop fear??? I can’t think of anything scarier than the fact that our conscious will vanish for eternity. I am only 20 years old but I mean the last 5 years flew by like nothing.

Draykewampler

Date posted: 18w

fear of death and ocd

so i have ocd but this is the main theme ive been dealing with for the last few months, im obsessed with my mortality and i feel trapped by the reality of death. i dont really believe in an afterlife which makes it scarier, not that i dont wanna my brain literally just wont let me. but i have daily panic attacks thinking about death all day, its honestly the toughest thing ive ever dealt with. does anybody have any tips on how they manage this if they have ever dealt with it? not looking for reassurance, just some non compulsive ways to kind of lessen the grip of the fear.

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Death OCD, please help

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