Plz answer if you feel like you can ❤️

I made a post earlier regarding harm ocd. I think I posted at a bad time bc no one answered. I don’t want reassurance about if I would ever do such an act, but I’m curious to know if the gun violence stuff and shootings are triggering anyone else’s harm ocd? For me, it’s my greatest fear to ever lose control and harm others so when I see it on the news, I freak out. School shootings have sent me over the edge lately. It’s like I become obsessed with wanting to know for certain I could never lose control over my body. It makes no sense because I’ve never even done a violent act. I guess OCD attacks your greatest fears and makes them sticky in your brain? It just scares me that anyone is capable of horrible things. Honestly all crime stories scare me and trigger me. Should I make myself watch them or do you stay away from the news at this point. I just feel like it’s all too much 🥹😭

Harm OCD

Tonyy

Date posted: 3y

Yes, that’s a symptom of ocd. If you don’t have a history of being violent. Why would you start now? People who carry out these violent attacks don’t have intrusive thoughts about it. They go against your personal values.

Cutter (yes,...

Date posted: 3y

Exactly. It’s attacking one of your biggest fears (also one of mine) of harming others. It’s tricking you to think you are a bad person when deep down you aren’t. Those who are doing these shootings have no remorse, no anxiety, no shame. They do it because they want to and think it’s right. You are different. I am different. Don’t let Harm OCD think you’d do such a thing. You’re a strong person 👍

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 3y

You are right. It’s just so tricky because I wanna know why I would have these thoughts and images in my mind so much. But it’s because it’s a fear I have. In general I just have fears of losing control and ever doing something evil. I just wondered if this was common for anyone else because when it’s happening, you feel so alone and terrible 😅

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 3y

@Cutter Thank you! & we just gotta remember. Thoughts are just that: thoughts. Not actions. I have asked people without OCD if they’ve ever thought about doing something awful or if they could. All the honest people said yes but they just shrug it off and let it go. Haha I wish sometimes I could have a brain transplan with them sometimes. But that’s just a reminder that everyone has intrusive thoughts. Us ocd sufferers just have a hard time letting them go. That’s the only difference!

Cutter (yes,...

Date posted: 3y

@hfair121691 It’s very common with those who suffer from OCD. But it’s just an illusion, if you will. It’s tricking you and thinking you want to do it or that it will eventually happen. I’m going through therapy myself and one of the things I’m working on is not worrying about the future. I’ve always felt somewhat in control at the present time but worry that I may lose control in the future. But the probability is slim, just like if a plane we to somehow land on your house or if an elephant walked through your door. It IS possible but how often do we think those things would happen? It’s easier said than done but with ERP it’s about taking your time at your pace and understanding as you go. It’s not an overnight fix but it’s a lifestyle learning experience ☺️

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 3y

@Cutter That’s some great advice. I’m happy you are in a journey to healing. It sounds like you are in a better place. You are stronger than your OCD. Keep hanging in there. I see a bright future for you and without knowing you, I can tell you worked hard to get to a better place. Very wise words ❤️

Cutter (yes,...

Date posted: 3y

@hfair121691 Of course! I know I sound strong and right now I feel great but it’s sometimes a rollercoaster ride and, honestly, I love helping others work through it (hence why my OCD attacks and makes me think I want to harm others instead). It will ALWAYS get better. It’s one thing I always promise people, things may seem tough at the moment and sometimes days feel sluggish and scary but things will always get better. Keep at it and you’ll see 👍

redmuse22

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

You may be able to use these as exposures in therapy, but I wouldn't go out of your way to trigger yourself unsupervised/without the guidance of a therapist if that makes sense. Do you enjoy true crime? If not, there's not a reason to engage with something that makes your miserable just for fun, ya know? OCD works by poking at our values. That's why it's so hard to let the thoughts pass. You care a lot about not hurting others, so OCD focuses on the *worry* you have about hurting. It thrives on attention and ERP helps us to learn that we don't need to keep feeding it in a misguided way to feel safe.

Nica

Date posted: 3y

They’re not for me, no. I don’t let the thoughts get anywhere close to becoming an issue though. So, while I have those intrusive thoughts, I don’t pay attention to them and they don’t become sticky.

EFF_OCD

Date posted: 3y

Did you do ERP therapy for them or did you just learn kinda to quit paying attention to them on your own? That’s an awesome thing btw! I hope I get back to there soon! I sometimes can not let it phase me but in a bad relapse it feels like torture

Nica

Date posted: 3y

@hfair121691 I was in intense therapy for 6 years for OCD and PTSD.

alyssa_h

Date posted: 19w

i can’t do this much longer

i’m having a full on panic attack, i never used to be like this, what tf is happening to me, why am i like this, i’m so convinced i’m a horrible person and i deserve to be shut out forever because of my thoughts, i’m tired of struggling with harm ocd, i’m scared that because i have mental health issues i’m gonna end up ki!!ing someone someday or end up on the news, when i was at work earlier i kept thinking “how easy would it be to ki!! someone and get away with it” someone help, i don’t feel normal, am i crazy?… 😭😭i know that with ocd you’re not supposed to have reassurance and you have to be “okay” with the situation but.. how am i supposed to be okay with feeling like i could hurt someone…

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 16w

Triggered from NOCD article

Guys for the past couple of hours ive been spiraling! I wad researching and came across this harm ocd article question that has been worrying me. The title was "im scared of hurting someone when I'm mad. Can i trust myself?" And I was thinking "hey that's what ive been worried about for the past several months!" I even AVOID being angry. Im scared of it bc I get a lot of thoughts and I'm hyperaware of my hands and feel them tingly! Last time i tensed so hard to stay still as possible bc I was so so nervous from my thoughts and my hand twitched which made me SPIRAL. I never want to cause harm! And i always start crying after an argument bc the thoughts are so so scary! Anyway I got afraid bc the article said "research has shown that people with ocd don't struggle with impulse control- so if you find yourself intensely worried you could do harm based on the intrusive thoughts or urges you have, it's likely something else is going on." THAT SENTENCE HAS LEFT ME WITH A TON OF ANXIETY! Its so bad, my appetite is gone! I'm scared does this mean I don't have ocd and should be seriously concerned?!

Andi 🤓☝️

Date posted: 15w

Horrible, feeling anxious.

Hey guys. I feel like no one will even reply to my post. I feel anxious af. I could barley eat a plate of soup. I feel so drained and fatigued and feel the anxiety in my stomach. I'm just so worried I don't even have harm ocd anymore. Its just... I grew up in a household where swatting people was normalized like if you did something really naughty. I never really questioned it and I grew up thinking it was an okay thing and would sometimes swat someone when they are being naughty growing up and even recently. I would never swat someone at full force or enough to make someone cry just more like a hard tap to get their attention but it feels automatic? And even then it's really really rare for me to do, i much rather talk sternly or tell someone. When i do swat its bc like if someone scared me I guess I hit their hand and say "THAT SCARED ME" and we both start laughing or if my older niece was roughhousing with her younger sister and the younger one gets hurt and the older one laughs, I swat the older one once or twice on her arm as a discipline and say "what is wrong with you??? Why are you laughing? You are much older than her! You could've seriously hurt her." And idk how but i never thought like how wrong this is?!... and I feel like sh/t like ocd keeps saying "well you have swatting impulses when someone is misbehaving or if someone scares or hits you, meaning if you get an impulse to do something really evil instead, you wouldnt be able to control yourself huh?" And I started to get so anxious and scared. Ive NEVER acted out on the harm ocd thoughts (nor do i even want to) ive been getting daily for 4 years even when they are misbehaving. But i get so scared like WHAT IF I get an impulse to do the evil thoughts? What if I lose control?! Is this a history of violence/ low impulse?! Does this mean i would act out on my fears?! I've never wanted to do these thoughts before but i get scared like what if I do one day? This whole day ive been ruminating and asking ai for reassurance. I feel terrible. I feel like a horrible person. I started to cry. I just cant anymore. I feel this weight on my chest. I feel so evil so irredeemable. I f/cking suck. I hate myself so much right now. I feel so much guilt and shame. Why am I still here anymore? Maybe i dont even have ocd and maybe i never did. This is just breaking my heart. I want to change and unlearn this swatting behavior as well for sure. :(

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