- Date posted
- 3y
Play fighting
Does anyone get really annoyed when you play fight with your partner? All these thoughts start coming in and I don’t know which ones are mine. I just wanna have fun, but I don’t know how :(
Does anyone get really annoyed when you play fight with your partner? All these thoughts start coming in and I don’t know which ones are mine. I just wanna have fun, but I don’t know how :(
Well when you engage in the play fighting do you often want to play fight or no? Making it clear you don’t want to play fight might help reduce these thoughts from happening, or even during this activity asking your partner about the thoughts that appear may help.
I do want to, and I have in previous times but it’s only become a problem recently. I’m convinced that it’s too much and when I stop it and get annoyed the room is silent. Right now we’re currently sitting in silence, because i’m unable to talk about why i’m so quiet. I want to communicate but i’m stuck. Thanks for replying btw
@Macc200 Of course, I’m here cause I want to figure out how to help my friend with OCD, I downloaded the app in order to help so I engage when I can. When you say to much do you mean to much as in your partner does to much or you do to much? Or the fighting is to much, the room being quiet can be calming at times and if you’re partner is there I have a few ideas that may help, you can do what I’ve been doing and trying to do engage them in TikToks (yes I know) so I find a funny video and try and distract the mind and create a space to show them I’m wanting to make sure they’re ok, another is if you want it to be silent for a little bit is you can just say what you want your partner to do, that is like if you want a hug or to cuddle or for them to leave whilst you release your mind. These may not help at all but you’re being strong when you say you want to talk, you can try somthing that I’ve just thought of, you can maybe type out feelings or small issues like you have in the community page into notes and show your partner in order for them to understand your reason for silence. I hope somthing helps and if you don’t take anything I say then that’s fine, writing about your feelings is a great start and I’m proud of you for that.
@Macc200 If it’s becoming a periodic issue were some days the play fighting becomes an issue, I’m sure your partner will listen if you address early that you feel things are becoming clouded when you’re engaging in activities then you can set boundaries, if doing that upsets you I understand as you want things to be ‘normal’ but as sad as it is to say doing that is better than battling the invading thoughts
@Local listener You are a saint, my partner noticed something was up and offered me a back massage. I took the offer so I can break the silence that I created, i’m still unable to talk about it with her and still want to try and tell them. I’m glad my moods back up I just am scared it will happen again. :)
@Macc200 Don’t be scared of it happening and I’m glad you’re feeling better, it’s good that you took an offer, it seems they are willing to help you within these situations which is great. Taking your time telling them about your thoughts is understandable but maybe have them install this app. I hope you take an idea I had into mind when you next have a moment of invading thoughts, rn I’m learning how to help my friend and the best I have at the moment is distracting them before and during the thoughts but I still want to know more on how to help. I hope you can tell your partner one day, they seem engaging to help and that’s sweet. Have a grand day!
I do not play fight with my partner and that sounds horrible. Def tell him/her you dont want to do that anymore. You deserve kindness, not play fight.
Sorry the word "horrible" is too intense. I mean that just doesnt sound like something I would enjoy and it would probably scare me.
Nah we do it all the time cause it’s fun dw no one’s getting hurt
My boyfriend keeps triggering my intrusive thoughts on purpose to mess with me. I've explained how bad they are to him before but i guess he just doesn't get it. He finds it funny when I have such a visceral reaction to him reminding me of them. I hope it doesn't sound too silly but body horror really freaks me out and this one image haunts me so bad when I remember it and he knows that, I trusted him with that knowledge but he loves to just yell out what it is to mess with my head. Now it'll flow in and out of my head for days and I'm gonna have trouble sleeping tonight. Usually distraction works but this one is particularly strong. Does anyone have any good coping skills or tips for going to sleep when it keeps haunting you?
I honestly can’t tell when thoughts are being affected by OCD. Sometimes I think I have what I think are normal “grey” thoughts, but then OCD adds so much weight to them and I spiral. I had this thought that I wished my boyfriend was more confident or independent. I felt so guilty for thinking it. I told him, and of course it hurt him. He told me it’s a normal thought to have, I just dwell on it too much. And that it’s the kind of thought most people keep to themselves. That’s the thing. I don’t know what’s okay to keep to myself and what isn’t. I think sometimes I say things out loud not just to relieve anxiety, but because I genuinely don’t know what’s okay to think or say. I do not know the line between a normal grey thought and something that’s “bad” to think. I don’t know how to tell if it’s something I should process privately or something I need to be ashamed of. I get this confusion with intrusive thoughts too, but those are easier to spot and evaluate. This is harder, because again, it is *my* thought. That makes it harder to sit with. Maybe the intrusive part is the voice that questions what kind of person I am for even thinking it. I don’t have the same telltale signs anymore. My physical anxiety isn’t there anymore, it’s all in my head and that makes it so much more confusing. But I don’t know. The line between honesty vs compulsion is so blurry. I just feel lost
So recently I have been talking to this guy and I really like him and for the past week I felt really good and happy about it, but then a sneaky intrusive thought popped up about what if in the future when and if the time comes to sleep in the same bed, I inappropriately touch him while he’s sleeping. Now I’ve struggled with sexual intrusive thoughts like that before so my brain just kept reminding me of how that thought felt the last time it came up, and the thoughts of sexually harming this person started snowballing and making me feel worse and worse. I spent most of the day crying and panicking wishing my brain could just shut down, and now all I want to do is hide from this person so I don’t get the chance to hurt him, which makes me feel even worse because I had been feeling so good about him just the other day. I was just wondering if anyone else had experienced this and if they might have any insight
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond