POCD 18+

Has anyone ever had instances where they found themselves attracted to a person but because you don't know their age for sure you start to worry and you begin to spiral down a bunch of POCD thoughts? This is concerning my latest relapse. I can't get my mind off of it. It looked like a woman my age and there was a 21 year old woman that I thought was attractive. The other fictional woman character during my relapse is my type of woman but doesn't have an age but I along with many people assume she is 20-24 but few days lower. What if it's much lower? Does that make me a p even though I genuinely assumed it was an an attractive adult woman? I'm always cautious of keeping away from any female that looks too young or anywhere where I have to question it and can only know for sure. Only then I can be cool about it

Loomin

Date posted: 3y

I’ve experienced this myself for sure. Who cares if you’re attracted to someone who’s age might be below what would make you comfortable. That’s a totally okay thing to happen, and doesn’t mean anything about you! The discomforte you feel is normal too. Just shrug it off and move on.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 3y

The problem with this is I know that deep down I will want to be with women my exact age or a little older but then OCD would come around to make me doubt everything. I would be fine one moment and then totally in panic the other. I hope this makes sense.

Loomin

Date posted: 3y

@BigGip09 Yeah that very much makes sense. All I can say is that I’m struggling less now with the doubt than I was 6 months ago, and I also think there’s a chance I could struggle with it again in the future. Just becoming more and more aware of the process that your brain goes through to try and get some sense of certainty is incredibly useful, but unfortunately it takes time!

BigGyro09

Date posted: 3y

@Loomin Yeah, definitely. Before this relapse I had I was feeling my best and I think I'll be able to hit that point through the month as I continue to keep away from that kind of stuff. All it did was reinforce those old feelings but they're slowly dimming down. There will be spikes here and there but even then I can use that as a way to reassure myself but not too much. Thank you

Loomin

Date posted: 3y

@BigGip09 Totes. Take it easy friendo

BigGyro09

Date posted: 3y

@Loomin Its hard to move on because it keeps resurfacing but I've been trying. I feel like these thoughts will be here for a while. I try to tell myself that I was attracted to her type and the adult features and not specifically the age

BigGyro09

Date posted: 3y

@BigGip09 At the same time I would need to know the age of the person I'm talking to at the start. I don't with to befriend any minors at all

Loomin

Date posted: 3y

@BigGip09 No need to tell yourself anything! Don’t try to work it out or convince yourself. You WILL feel unsure and that will feel reckless and awful but these feelings are not to be trusted or engaged with! It’ll just pass in it’s own time :)

BigGyro09

Date posted: 3y

@Loomin How long did it take for you to get over? Its like, I wanted to see an attractive woman's body and not someone who's underage. I know what I wanted to see no matter how much OCD tries to say otherwise. All of the scenarios I've seen during my relapses I was sure with grown women up until the spiraling came up that day. How long will this take?

Loomin

Date posted: 3y

@BigGip09 I’ve no idea man, and trying to work that out probably isn’t going to help! I’m not really ‘over’ anything, I just feel a bit more comfortable acknowledging the discomfort and doubt for what it is, an unreliable feeling of shame and disgust that is disconnected to what is happening in the moment (a child walks past me for instance). It really is for me just about trying to live my life and letting the panic and doubt sit in the background. Some days it’s all the way at the back, others it’s a little closer to the front, but it never had to dictate what I spend my mental energy on. And if reading this causes you to react in any sort of “yes BUT, WHAT IF…BUT WHEN EXCACTLY…BUT I FEEL DIFFERENT…BUTBUTBUTBUTBUT” then that’s part of the struggle as far as I can tell! It’s all about letting the need to KNOW FOR SURE go. And it’s bloody difficult! But just keep bringing your attention back to what’s going on right now, and trust - TRUST - that whatever feels so important to know or work out RIGHT NOW, will not feel at all important once you’ve forgotten about it.

Canofbeans

Date posted: 23w

Adult content and OCD (18+)

I thought I'd gotten over sexual obsessions, since they haven't been bothering me at all until I had a flare up yesterday. I usually struggle with masturbation due to a combination of both anorgasmia from SSRI medication along with intrusive thoughts, so I thought that an adult film should work fine and went on the hub as per usual. Everything went well until I "finished" and looked at the video title afterwards. My stomach dropped as the title had the word "teen" it in. I felt nauseous and gross because I'd previously struggled and became horrifically suicidal due to the pocd I thought I had under control. Now I know that by the word teen, it means an adult actress that's 18-19 and I'm only 20. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm gross for watching and that it was illegal material, even though I am fully aware that it wasn't, so I've been ruminating over it endlessly. This is more of a vent, but I feel like all the progress I've made with my ocd just went down the drain ☹️

isharemycigs

Date posted: 15w

What do I do

when I was 15 soon to turn 16, I met this girl in a IG group chat made by our mutual friends. We started talking and eventually we started flirting and talking sexual towards each other, though eventually we stopped talking because she was being really weird. A couple months later In July of 2024 my friend found out that she was actually 13 and that she lied to me about her age. It's been 10 months since l've found out and I still feel so disgusted in myself. I had my suspicions at the time but I let them go since she said she was 16 turning 17. I was completely oblivious trusting someone I only knew online especially since i've never seen their face either. i'm struggling on what to do since i've been suffering with POCD since I was 15. Till this day I still feel weird and disgusted in myself because of that. But it feels ironic since i'm sexualizing someone that's 2 years younger than me and I waited to confirm she was around my age range to sexualize her. I feel so weird and guilty about it idk what to do

Purvi

Date posted: 12w

POCD help

I'm posting something after a long. I have multiple Ocd themes and my main themes of sexual ocd is incest Ocd and Hocd and POCD has never been so active but today something happened that has been bothering me for a while. I was traveling in a bus and there I saw a kid/young teen. When I saw him, I instantly found him so attractive and then BOOM.. I started feeling like I'm attracted to him. I felt confused. I literally found him attractive and also thought that he would look really fine after growing up his face was so attractive but I don't want to be into him at all. I feel like I'm so much into him. I'm feeling very bothered by this feeling. I feel like I'm in denial and I should accept my attraction towards him. I don't want to feel this way at all. I don't understand what to do, how to figure out this feeling. I'm 99% sure that there was an underlying attraction I felt when I looked at him and realized that he is good looking. I feel like dying from inside and extremely confused. He's not in my bus now and I feel urges to just see him once to finally figure out that I'm into him or not but he is not here. I think I'm a pedophile which I don't want to be and everything is finished now, nothing would be same in my mind because I'm so paranoid and feeling like I'm into him. Please somebody help me and let me know if anyone of you has ever felt this way having POCD.

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POCD 18+

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