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I’m aroused by boys and I fantasise about them like kissing them and having sex with them and stuff. Like a couple of boys I find attractive. But I still have those ruminating thoughts if I not be a lesbian. Like not even about being bisexual what doesn’t come to my mind but only ruminating about being lesbian and I know it’s an obsession and I’ve read a lot and it feels like it’s ocd, and my therapist says it’s an obsession like ocd but I’m not diagnosed yet. Why does this go together like I’m aroused by boys but I still can’t get rid of the thoughts about being lesbian even tho I’m aroused with boys it makes me feel miserable and horrible

Sexual Orientation OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

im going through the same exact thing. it goes together because you have ocd, if you use being aroused by men to calm yourself when you have these lesbian thoughts it will only make the intrusive thoughts worse

Anonymously2

Date posted: 3y

Omg that’s true checking if im aroused and the moments im actually are around boys it just feeds my obsession and reassurance me. And that’s not good. Its nice to hear that im not alone in this

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@San2 of course! something that calms me down in a panick attack is realizing that these thoughts wouldn’t bring you anxiety if it wasn’t the ocd. for the majority of lgbtq people finally identifiying with sexuality is a relief and meeting other people they identify with makes them feel understood and not alone, much like you meeting someone with the same sub type of ocd as you. while of course their are cases where there is internalized homophobia the difference is that they are aware of there sexuality and push it down and reject the thoughts. in the case of ocd needing to know becomes the main topic of intrusive thoughts (obsessions). now I don’t want to reassure you so at the end of the day I do not know you and I cannot tell you what your sexual orientation is, even if you are not lesbian you could be bi, ace, pan, ect. these are just ways to help identify intrusive thoughts🫶🫶🫶

Anonymously2

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous Yes true, but it gives me an anxiety, stress and miserable feeling and feeling of oncertajnty and when im talking to a boy I feel like I can’t enjoy it even tho I want it same as going out. Before this going out with friends was my happy place and I was always busy with boys and stuff and didn’t have these thoughts or anxiety and now Im scared to go out because I will feel miserable or can’t get aroused around boys because of the stress and the thoughts and stuff

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@San2 the only way to beat ocd is to accept the anxiety. do not avoid going out rather go out and when your talking to a boy and start over thinking just sit there no matter how uncomfortable and think “I may never be attracted to this man again or I could tomorrow there is no way of knowing” and I promise it will get better

Anonymously2

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous Thankyou so much I will try that!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

also researching is a compulsion my best advice is to agree with the compulsions and if you become scared your a lesbian just tell yourself it’s true and it’s okay. thoughts cannot change your sexual orientation, agreeing with the thoughts will bring more anxiety at first but eventually it will make the intrusive thoughts bother you less and they will become manageable. does that make sense lol

Anonymously2

Date posted: 3y

I try but sometimes they’re so ruff and it even comes on certain girls and I get thoughts about them but when I don’t mind ku thoughts I don’t even think about them

violettag6

Date posted: 24w

so-ocd

So I identify as a lesbian and I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful girl. But i’m stressing that I have crushes on boys I go to school with. I get anxious around them, which I think I mistake for excitement. I obsess over it in my head which confuses me a lot. Idk I also never think about them sexually or romantically but I think about them often which is scaring me. Any advice?

vaiiolyn

Date posted: 22w

Lesbian with Sexual Orientation OCD

I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?

Masc4lesb

Date posted: 19w

LESBIAN WITH SO-OCD

hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd

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