I used to not feel like this. Watching movies and not feel “attracted” to every single person. I was only actually attracted to a few, and they were all guys. Or not question if I do. Or see badass female characters and admire them in a subtle way without actually it being mistaken by attraction. Now it feels real. Like I’ve accepted it. Like I want to date girls. I used to be around guys in my school and feel awkward and uncomfortable, different. Now it’s all gone. I can’t even imagine myself loving a guy. It’s all gone.

That sounds like OCD too. I know it’s hard, but let it scream and try not to pay attention to it. When something screams for attention and isn’t answered it eventually goes hoarse.

Nothing is really gone, my friend. Your OCD is lying to you, trying to convince you that it is. Keep fighting. You can do this.

It just feels so real. Like I don’t want to be with guys anymore only with girls. That all of the sudden I am attracted it women. That I can only imagine my future now with them. And it’s like I’ll never be happy with a guy because “that isn’t what I truly want” it feels so real. Like so real.

I am so over this. It’s telling me I want to date girls. And it feels as if I want it. Whenever I am not really attracted to a certain woman my head just starts screaming “YOU WANT THAT” “YOU WANT THAT” idk. It’s like all of the sudden I think of myself with guys and it doesn’t feel right. What even is this. What if this is what every gay person goes through? Oh my god, I just want my head to be silent for just a few minutes. This has been non stop

I want to peace. Peace of mind. Whenever I think about dating guys it doesn’t feel right anymore. It’s like I’ll never have another crush on a guy again. It feels as if from now one it all going to be girls. I don’t want this. It kinda feels right which makes it even worse. I am crying so hard right now :(

What you said happens to me everyday too. What is happening is that your brain has a kind of trauma, okay? Not as bad as it sounds, but it has. It has happened so much, the questions, the compulsion, the anxiety, etc... Now everytime you see a girl, you are just afraid. And is normal that in your state of mind, all your attention comes to that. This is what anxiety does. It tries to protect you for what you think is dangerous, so that you start to feel panic, you start to do more questions and finally have desperation about the theme. This is why ocd is a Disorder. Your anxiety doesn't work well. You have adequate your behaviours so bad into this, into ocd, that is always the same. There is treatment, medication to anxiety and depression, erp, uncertainty, cbt, actually talking with a therapist about this. You need that. And I understand that you only want to cry every night, because I do. I feel it. But that is okay. Do you really think all people here is that blind that we prefer to suffer from this, months or years, than accepting another sexuality? Because that is what is not true. Is just not right that this has to happen to you, I know. So much.. But here we are, and here we stand. And you are not alone. I don't have the answer you need. I'm not you. But also because I know something like that... just doesn't exist.