Is anyone dealing with SOOCD just burnt out? My brain does not stop, I can’t go in public without my brain trying to figure who I’m attracted to and who I’m not. At this point it makes me feel agnostic towards the opposite sex and still stressed about same sex attraction. Idk if this is just me
You are not alone, i have Sexual OCD and it's so hard i know . But you must believe that this is not true , you are not gay , you are not your thoughts, ignore them and everything will be okay
I feel this way too honestly im just confused and don't know what to believe anymore all I know is im tired and just want this gone
i want you to know it gets better. regardless of how severe it is- recovery is always possible. will recovery be easy? probably not. i tried ERP six times before i recovered. is it worth it? is it more worth it than obsessing? absolutely. what i’d do is establish a plan for if you get panicked. i had it in a small tote bag. you could have a journal, aromatherapy, stuffed animals, bath bombs, a good playlist, etc. just take care of yourself. that’s the first step. your attraction to the opposite sex will come back with recovery. i promise. it did for me.
Hi hun, any chance I can speak with you on instagram if you have it? X
@HJOx hi ! i have a more personal account on instagram with person information i wouldn’t like to share. however, if you have discord i’d be more than willing :)
@ingrid ✧ Hi, I don’t have that! Can I ask a few questions? I’ve had SOOCD for 1 year now and I’m just stuck. Did you feel like your thoughts were just constant when you had this theme? X
@HJOx that’s ok ! ask away :) mhm- my thoughts were every day, all day. the relief was temporary, lasting a couple hours max.
@ingrid ✧ Did you feel like it would never end? It’s draining! Have you got rid of this theme now? X
@HJOx mhm! i felt like i’d never recover. i have absolutely no traces of OCD anymore <3
@ingrid ✧ Omg that is amazing!!!!!! How did you do it?! 🥹 Did you have this theme for a long time? X
@HJOx i had the theme for two years- and i did it by exposure therapy. :)
@ingrid ✧ If I download discord now, how do I chat to you hun? Do you have a name on it? X
@HJOx all you have to do is tell me your username so i could add you :)
@ingrid ✧ It won’t let me download it hun! Do you have anything else I could chat to you on? X
@HJOx erm… not really ! i usually don’t give my social media outside of NOCD because of how so many people on here are older than me (i’m 14/15) and of bad experiences from people on the app, sorry :( you can always ask here though!
@ingrid ✧ No that’s fine hun!!!! Did it take you a long time too recover? X
@HJOx i did ERP improperly, so it delayed way more than i wish it did. with ERP properly, it took less than a month !
@ingrid ✧ Can I ask what compulsions you had? X
@HJOx yeah ! there’s a lot, so here’s a list : - reassurance - writing down why i’m not attracted to the undesired gender - “testing” my attraction - googling. a LOT of googling. - rumination
@ingrid ✧ Did everything just feel so real? What did you find most helpful to recover ? X
@HJOx it felt extremely real, and what the thing that put an end to it was… identifying as my feared sexuality. i thought that identifying as bisexual can’t be as bad as panicking all the time… so why not give it a try? i’d either recover and go back to my old label, or keep the identity. and look at where i am now !
@ingrid ✧ That’s amazing! Did you feel you went back to your old self ? X
@HJOx honestly… no. my identity as a person has changed, i’m stronger, wiser, more aware about the world and the issues in it, etc. i’m different- but in a good way.
@ingrid ✧ That’s really good! Do you still go by the same orientation? X
@HJOx i actually don’t :) i don’t go into it though because i’m aware it can be triggering to some.
@ingrid ✧ Is that because of HOCD or by choice? X
@HJOx well, sexuality isn’t a choice (for me personally). but i decided to keep this label after exposure therapy <3. i don’t think it was caused by OCD, personally.
@ingrid ✧ So did you like both preferences before? X
@HJOx i identified as bisexual, then a lesbian. my OCD targeted me when i identified as a lesbian. however, my label doesn’t matter, and doesn’t prove anything about OCD :)
You are definitely not alone. I can definitely relate
Thank you for all the comments. Truly does help when this disease makes you feel so isolated. Some days it’s just like ‘you’ve been lying to yourself and it wasn’t even ocd’ but I appreciate all your thoughts. It helps :)
Just tired af... Anyone else feels like everything is a lie all the time and there is no "before the OCD I was boy crazy" just the OCD since forever... or denial because of that aspect? Really struggeling with the physical aspect of SOOCD : looking at a women's body and really feeling something and getting turned on and looking at a man's and not feeling anything... I just dont understand! I asked my friends and many of them said they dont feel anything looking at a man's body as well (they're straight) but also looking at a women's doesnt feel like much. I just dont understand ughhhh
I think I may have SO-OCD and OCD in general. At a young age fear of death. I use to tap my heart 8 times (lucky number) for each person I loved. Then I think I suffered with ROCD and HOCD when I was 18 after 2 bad relationships who they ran off with a ‘close’ friend at the time. I’ve struggled with OCD and these HOCD/ SO-OCD about 12 years ago but the HOCD went and the ROCD came back and forth. I did previously last year have a Fear of death of my children with alligators going on holiday after reading a bad article in Florida which lasted few months. Briefly Started with ‘R-OCD’ again but went pretty quickly. Am I good enough for my partner? Is she going to leave me? What if she finds someone else? Though I saw a picture of a good looking male on a social media which my Brian instantly questioned if I was gay, panic and anxiety which lead to which I think is SO-OCD and HOCD. An obsession is an unwanted and unpleasant thought, image or urge that repeatedly enters my mind, causing feelings of anxiety, disgust or unease. A compulsion is a repetitive behaviour or mental act that you feel you need to do to temporarily relieve the unpleasant feelings brought on by the obsessive thought. I’m stuck in obsessive doubt around my sexual identity, even though I say that deep down i know what my sexual identity is but even this is being questioned at the minute and I want to cry. I have always, always been interested in women. That much I would say I had a sex addiction. My attraction to the opposite sex has pretty much disappeared. I have a fleeting thought of attraction which will set off a cascade of doubt and terror which some thoughts/ feelings make me physically sick. I’m scared of going out in public or even looking at people especially men for the fear of false attraction. I try to do ERP when I do have moments but it makes me want to be sick. My brain feels like it’s in a clamp and I can’t stop the constant thoughts. It feels like something is my head has stopped or not working correctly. Even at night. Every time I wake my chest seems to feel strange and the thoughts are suddenly there. I’ve tried ERP but it makes me want to be sick even when it subsides. I am still continuing this but I feel so drained. I just want to be myself again who I was 3 months ago. I hate that this has happened and I feel that I can’t cope, can’t be the husband I want to be, can’t be the father I want and was. These are my main issues at the moment; false attraction to pretty much any male even voices, decrease attraction in opposite gender, severe anxiety, I can’t sleep or eat, constant thoughts 24/7 and scenarios, groinal responses, seavere recriminatory thinking, I hate myself, I even have false attraction to myself in the mirror. What is wrong with me? I just want to be the husband and father I was a few months ago!
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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