Is anyone dealing with SOOCD just burnt out? My brain does not stop, I can’t go in public without my brain trying to figure who I’m attracted to and who I’m not. At this point it makes me feel agnostic towards the opposite sex and still stressed about same sex attraction. Idk if this is just me
You are not alone, i have Sexual OCD and it's so hard i know . But you must believe that this is not true , you are not gay , you are not your thoughts, ignore them and everything will be okay
I feel this way too honestly im just confused and don't know what to believe anymore all I know is im tired and just want this gone
i want you to know it gets better. regardless of how severe it is- recovery is always possible. will recovery be easy? probably not. i tried ERP six times before i recovered. is it worth it? is it more worth it than obsessing? absolutely. what i’d do is establish a plan for if you get panicked. i had it in a small tote bag. you could have a journal, aromatherapy, stuffed animals, bath bombs, a good playlist, etc. just take care of yourself. that’s the first step. your attraction to the opposite sex will come back with recovery. i promise. it did for me.
Hi hun, any chance I can speak with you on instagram if you have it? X
@HJOx hi ! i have a more personal account on instagram with person information i wouldn’t like to share. however, if you have discord i’d be more than willing :)
@ingrid ✧ Hi, I don’t have that! Can I ask a few questions? I’ve had SOOCD for 1 year now and I’m just stuck. Did you feel like your thoughts were just constant when you had this theme? X
@HJOx that’s ok ! ask away :) mhm- my thoughts were every day, all day. the relief was temporary, lasting a couple hours max.
@ingrid ✧ Did you feel like it would never end? It’s draining! Have you got rid of this theme now? X
@HJOx mhm! i felt like i’d never recover. i have absolutely no traces of OCD anymore <3
@ingrid ✧ Omg that is amazing!!!!!! How did you do it?! 🥹 Did you have this theme for a long time? X
@HJOx i had the theme for two years- and i did it by exposure therapy. :)
@ingrid ✧ If I download discord now, how do I chat to you hun? Do you have a name on it? X
@HJOx all you have to do is tell me your username so i could add you :)
@ingrid ✧ It won’t let me download it hun! Do you have anything else I could chat to you on? X
@HJOx erm… not really ! i usually don’t give my social media outside of NOCD because of how so many people on here are older than me (i’m 14/15) and of bad experiences from people on the app, sorry :( you can always ask here though!
@ingrid ✧ No that’s fine hun!!!! Did it take you a long time too recover? X
@HJOx i did ERP improperly, so it delayed way more than i wish it did. with ERP properly, it took less than a month !
@ingrid ✧ Can I ask what compulsions you had? X
@HJOx yeah ! there’s a lot, so here’s a list : - reassurance - writing down why i’m not attracted to the undesired gender - “testing” my attraction - googling. a LOT of googling. - rumination
@ingrid ✧ Did everything just feel so real? What did you find most helpful to recover ? X
@HJOx it felt extremely real, and what the thing that put an end to it was… identifying as my feared sexuality. i thought that identifying as bisexual can’t be as bad as panicking all the time… so why not give it a try? i’d either recover and go back to my old label, or keep the identity. and look at where i am now !
@ingrid ✧ That’s amazing! Did you feel you went back to your old self ? X
@HJOx honestly… no. my identity as a person has changed, i’m stronger, wiser, more aware about the world and the issues in it, etc. i’m different- but in a good way.
@ingrid ✧ That’s really good! Do you still go by the same orientation? X
@HJOx i actually don’t :) i don’t go into it though because i’m aware it can be triggering to some.
@ingrid ✧ Is that because of HOCD or by choice? X
@HJOx well, sexuality isn’t a choice (for me personally). but i decided to keep this label after exposure therapy <3. i don’t think it was caused by OCD, personally.
@ingrid ✧ So did you like both preferences before? X
@HJOx i identified as bisexual, then a lesbian. my OCD targeted me when i identified as a lesbian. however, my label doesn’t matter, and doesn’t prove anything about OCD :)
You are definitely not alone. I can definitely relate
Thank you for all the comments. Truly does help when this disease makes you feel so isolated. Some days it’s just like ‘you’ve been lying to yourself and it wasn’t even ocd’ but I appreciate all your thoughts. It helps :)
Hi everyone, I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 5 years. I’ve always felt emotionally close to him — he’s caring, supportive, and we planned a future together, including having a family. I don’t want to leave him. He means so much to me. But for a while now, I’ve been obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction to him anymore. It’s not like I never felt anything — when we first met, there were butterflies, excitement, emotional connection… something real. He was never “just a friend” to me. But the physical side of the relationship feels like it’s slowly faded, and I’m panicking about what that means. I keep thinking things like: – “Maybe I chose the wrong person.” – “You can’t be in love without sexual desire.” – “If I was truly in love, I would still want him.” – “What if I’ve been lying to myself this whole time?” Sometimes my body reacts — I can feel physical closeness or even arousal — but my mind shuts down and says: “no, this isn’t right.” Other times, I feel tension, resistance, or even disgust during intimacy, and I can’t tell if that’s anxiety or if something is fundamentally wrong. What makes this even more confusing is that I truly believe that real love includes sexual attraction. For me, it’s all part of one feeling — not separate. So if the attraction is gone, does that mean the love is too? Is it possible that this is still OCD — that my mind is obsessing and disconnecting me from my real feelings? Has anyone experienced something similar? Any support would mean so much. I feel so stuck between my mind and my heart.
When first triggered it was every male possible. I couldn’t even go shopping… it was all ages of male, all sizes, and the groinal response was non stop. Like always a feeling there. Then it calmed down but male voices… I couldn’t listen to the music I use to enjoy or movies I’ve always been interested in. Then it kinda dyed down to people who are good looking but I’ve never in my life been attracted to males and beards. I couldn’t even always say they are good looking but never had this fear, the head ache constantly pounding feelings before. Now it’s still good looking males but I’m noticing body shape now? What is this!? Soon as I see a male figure my body feeling like it goes into shock, preparing for the anxiety feeling of ‘false’ attraction. It makes me sweat, and nauseous. Is this OCD or after 32 years of loving woman now gone? I don’t really have attraction towards woman (brief moments but not how I use to be) and this makes me so depressed. I don’t want to live like this. The only thing stoping me is my children and wife.
So my OCD has been bad lately. I’ve been ruminating and obsessing over my sexuality again. And it just keeps getting worse. I hate it so much. I try to sit with the discomfort but then my ocd does the backdoor spike. And the groinal response is what keeps me looped. It SUCKS. I am not attracted to men, but my OCD is trying SO hard to convince me that I am. There have been days where I’m just so mentally exhausted that I “accept” what my ocd tells me and I just walk around a hollow, lethargic shell. But then I rethink it and I feel better. It feels like I can only find my TRUE self when I tire my nervous system out enough that it literally breaks down and has me suicidal and hopeless. And then accepting my OCD’s “truth” (that I’m attracted to men) feels like a burden and a chore. I woke up today from an OCD dream, tried to go back to sleep, and my stomach kept cramping bc I was so anxious and ruminating over my intrusive thoughts. I’m starting to doubt it being OCD anymore. My brain is too tired to fight and cry about it anymore.
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