Harm ocd

Absolutely agree. Approach what’s in front of us and one day at a time. My approach today is thinking before I respond, focusing on responding to as many intrusions as I can without emotion.

It’s been a mix. Rebounded well for a couple days then yesterday was more challenging. Today has been better again. I wouldn’t say my volume of intrusions change necessarily, but rather how the day goes depends on how I respond to them. Sorry to hear you’re having such a tough day. Keep challenging yourself to respond the right way (even though it will be so hard) while also being compassionate to yourself. Just look at today for what it is, a shitty day for having OCD. When tomorrow comes, it’s an opportunity to reset and start again.

Yes!!!

Totally agree

Nope not alone at all! So many of us deal with this. Everybody has intrusive thoughts our OCD just makes us over think them

You got this!!

@ehuffman26 Hey there - appreciate being able to read this thread. I deal with harm OCD at work too. Was never an issue prior to COVID. Then after working from home, seems to be a hard one to crack. I commonly get intrusive thoughts that I’ve stabbed someone at work or am going to. Happened this afternoon as a matter of fact and has bothered me since. Through ERP and working with my therapist I’ve tried to turn it into an exposure. As an example, will hold or place scissors on my desk while working. Sometimes it feels like the exposure works, other times I just have to sit in the OCD haze and wait the feelings and thoughts out. Hang in there to both of you, this disorder is brutal. According to my OCD, I have quite the rap sheet. You’re not alone, take care and reach out if you want to connect.

@breckw39 Hey thank you! The OCD haze is the worst honestly. Because one minute I can be fine and the next minute I am not. I want my life back before the OCD but looking back I always had OCD. Harm OCD is one of the worst though out of the ones I experience . I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.

@ehuffman26 Same here. I have always felt like it’s the most challenging for me. Definitely the most challenging for me when it comes to just recognizing it as OCD and not reading into the “theme.” I very much deal with the one minute I’m fine, then shit hits the fan. Once that fear response or fear signal trips, it’s hard to overcome, not mental check, not ruminate, etc even if only for a minute or two. I’ve noticed it doesn’t take long for me to dig a deep hole. 5 minutes of rumination can set me back so quickly in getting past what triggered me.

@breckw39 Yes! I get the what ifs and as well as the directs and it’s just awful. I ask my fiancé if I am a awful person, my one dog hasn’t been sleeping next to me which makes me think I am an awful person. It’s just constant rumination for me.

@ehuffman26 The rumination is the hardest for me as well. Doesn’t take very long for my brain to recreate what happened according to OCD. Then throw in the guilt, shame, and fear, and it’s like it HAS to be true. Even when I’m having good days, which for me is no difference in amount of thoughts but instead how I respond to them, I still seem to get stuck on at least one harm trigger at some point in time. Or a thought that I got past earlier in the day or week comes back in evening or night when I’m exhausted.

@breckw39 Yes! It goes thought, anxiety, and empty. Those have been my moods lately. I get into a good mood and then something triggers it.

I know. Even on a good day it’s all so exhausting.

I was talking to my fiancé and 2 days ago was the worse for me yesterday it was on and off and today it’s like 50/50 if that makes sense. We all got this!

It really is.. I work from home now and still have an awful time. I’ve been dealing with this since I was 17 I am now 15. I went into “remission” and then went through a very stressful time when I was 21 and now it’s been like clock work every year during the summer something triggers it.

Yes 25 I am sorry

Yep! I don’t watch horror films. I get weirded out by certain words.

Yep! I am to the point I just get really bad anxiety around them. I went months being fine with them. And then after I had Covid it started all over again. And it’s just trying to get through it again letting it through one ear out the other.

@ehuffman26 Well let the intrusive thought go basically

@ehuffman26 My intrusive thoughts also got really bad once I got covid and when it ended. It's terrible :(

@nattieee Yeah! I had Covid in May and then I went deaf in my left ear and then once I fully recovered that’s when it started up again because usually I use to only get them around my period. That’s how I knew it was coming!

I’ve been trying to do yoga and meditation. Plus my cat needs and lays on my chest which helps. But I’ve been trying to find therapy

See I look back at things years ago I have said to somebody and how it affected them and how I’m an awful person.

I am sorry to hear you struggle with this as well. I would claim false memory as well. It’s validating to know someone else has a similar experience, though I wouldn’t wish it for anyone that values people, relationships, etc like we do. I’m so hypersensitive to guilt when it comes to how I treat others, and I think that’s why I have Harm as a theme.

Agreed. I’ve definitely found better coping through self care, therapy, etc as opposed to things like alcohol. I used to be a social drinker, but after taking a break to focus on OCD recovery I’ve found I’m genuinely feeling better without it even when I do feel like enjoying a beer or two.