No one gets it…

I am 100% positive that my mom does not care about me or love me. Every time I try to go to her for help about anything mental health related, she just repeats the same thing every time, whether it’s “it’s all in your head.” or “Only you can stop it.” And I feel like she hates me. She says she understands but she doesn’t. She doesn’t know how much I want to give up because when I used to bring it up she would just scream at me. I want to give up. I hate my self and I hate the life I was given. I have no one. I’m absolutely terrified of the things I’ve been through and if they define me 💔

[Deleted]

Date posted: 3y

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Magzzz

Date posted: 3y

Thank you. What’s bothering me is in my last post and when I brought it up to my mom that’s when she said those thing. My mom knows everything about me and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing but I never held anything back from her and she’s told me I’m being too hard on myself and that I need to move on and forgive myself for my past. My first therapist and my current therapist told me thing same things. My dad even was understanding before he passed and I told him everything too. I don’t know if I’m just having a ocd flare up. I don’t know but I do know I’m filled with a lot of fear right now. Again. It’s like a pattern. Usually one week out of every month, the ocd gets much much worse. And it’s agonizing every time. I am very self critical and also very sensitive so I mean it definitely makes sense that I’m being very harsh on myself but I feel like I deserve it and worse. That I can’t laugh or feel joy without the feeling of guilt and shame taking over. I’m so sorry that you had to go through OCD too and I’m so happy to hear that you recovered. That definitely gives me hope but I always have that thought of what if I’m the exception? What if I can’t have freedom or forgiveness just like anyone else? Sometimes I feel like I’m never going to be ok again. I wish I could go back. I really do. Thank you for your help though I do appreciate it that you took time out of your day to help me. Thank you

Orion🪐

Date posted: 3y

Hey. Relax a little. I know that everything sucks now, I know nobody understands you, but I just want to tell you that Im going through the same thing! My parents still dont know about this period of time and you have no idea how hard is to be so lonely. Nobody to cry to, nobody to tell me its alright. But I need to keep fighting. I really hope that I can get my life back when everything was great. I believe in you that you can be positive and fight more for your life. You can do this!! 💞

Magzzz

Date posted: 3y

Thank you I appreciate it. I hope you feel better as well. I know it sucks to feel so alone in times of distress. I appreciate your help though 🥺

Dinosaur ent...

Date posted: 25w

Utter hopelessness vent

Today my mom broke down crying because of how much stress she feels having to take care of me, she said I can’t do anything in terms of being able to take care of myself and she’s right I can’t, she breaks down constantly because of me, I don’t know what to do, it’s been like this for years, part of me feels like the only way to save her is to kill myself, I don’t want to die, but it feels like the only way to set her free, I don’t think anyone but her would miss me anyways, I feel utterly hopeless. I’m not going to do anything to myself the voices are just SCREAMING that I need to. I can’t work, I can’t go to school, I’m trying desperately to get therapy, I don’t know what else to do, I wish I was a child again and I felt like I had a chance to be okay. I love my mom so much and she loves me and I’m killing her, I’m actually killing her, with how fuckinh worthless and pathetic I am, it’s too much, I miss being a kid.

Anxiousashley

Date posted: 20w

No one understands

No one understands what I’m going through. My husband used to be my biggest supporter but not we’re separated and I try to explain to my parents why I’m upset when I have panic attacks but they don’t get it. For Example: This morning I told my mom I was having a panic attack. And she just kept asking “why? What’s wrong? U were so happy yesterday. When I said, I didn’t know I just was having this panic attack. She did not understand one bit. She just kept asking me why why why? And I’m like I don’t know. 😭 it makes me just wanna stay away from everyone and just isolate because people don’t understand. I know it’s not their fault. I’m actually glad they don’t understand because that means they’re not going through the pain I’m going through.

Vee4

Date posted: 16w

Vent

I really hate telling my mom that I'm insecure because she just looks at me super annoyed and is like "I don't know why". Like one time I said I wanted to start working out because I hate how skinny I am and she looked at me like I was trying to fish for compliments or something and I feel like I have to defend myself and I cant talk about it. I feel like I always hate my body and any time I try to do something to fix that I regret it so so much. I was just telling her the other day how i hate myself so much I want to crawl out of my skin and she kind of just told me to work on it but I don't know how?? Ive never loved myself. Ever. I have no clue how to. The only reason I'm not doing worse to myself is because I'll get in trouble. I hate my mind and my body and lately it's been so so bad I can't look at myself without feeling nauseated. The last few months it's just gotten worse and worse I feel like. Any time I try to fix how I look I feel like I don't deserve to feel comfortable in my own skin. I feel like a lost cause at this point. I don't know if I'm ever gonna be fixed.

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