i need to stop ruminating but i don’t know how. i know i’m supposed to sit with the thoughts but right now it’s making me panic even more. what if im enjoying it and im just messed up forever. what if i can’t get better. what if i have a 2 month long breakdown again. i just want to be normal
I’ve found that staying with these ruminating thoughts and being physically active provides the best results for me. If I only focus on the thoughts they build on themselves and become debilitating. Whereas allowing the thoughts to be there but still hammering on whatever task I decided was to be my focus for the time being seems to offer mental clarity on the situation with time. Then the rumination can run its course to the point of termination but I’m not “involved” because I have my MAIN focus elsewhere. I always ask myself: “what is the normal course of action I would like to see here?” Then do it. And yes for me it is broken down into the most minuscule tasks. For example: Turning the steering wheel right to keep between the lines. Breathing a steady normal pattern. Squeezing the handle on my coffee cup and balancing it to keep it from spilling. Sometimes I feel ridiculous but it offers a bit of self control and keeps the power from being totally in the hands of the obsessive thought pattern. It also offers myself an outlet so I’m not mentally conversing with the thoughts but still allowing them to be there. Again this is what works for me. (What is the Normal course of action? -Now do it) Best of luck my friend stay strong.
For me thinking of this as my normal gets me out of a victim mindset and into a mindset that I can feel somewhat empowered to take action in. I understand where you’re coming from! I wish to be “normal” very often! However it seems like my accepting of this condition as simply the cards I was dealt makes looking for solutions and working on this condition no different than someone who is fighting cancer. Yes cancer can be terminal. Yes this condition can be terminal as well, and almost was for me. I’m living proof that it’s worth fighting every day. And thankfully as time goes on these issues we obsess over become easier to let hang around and have less power over our desired lives. I hope this helps. If so like it and I will continue to respond to these messages in the future. Stay strong!
thank you- this helped a lot. you’re right, im not “normal” and can’t change that but there are ways i can help myself. i just wish i could afford therapy
I just want to be normal too … Harm ocd.
No one is “normal”. We ALL have our struggles. I can’t do guided therapy either. Yes you can help yourself! In so many ways! There is an SOS feature in the NOCD App. It is helpful! If identified early on the ruminating self talk can be acknowledged and moved on from earlier before taking hold of your seconds, then minutes, to hours then days and weeks UNTIL we identify it. Once identified we can let it hang out instead of giving more energy to it. Even though it hasn’t been an easy route it has been phenomenally empowering for me!
thank you so much!
🙏🏻
the most debilitating ocd flare-up i’ve been having for the past few months has been about the guy i used to talk to. we weren’t dating per-se, but whatever was going on between us was very confusing and unclear, and it ended up with me being very hurt. he was basically leading me on, and couldn’t commit to me. it’s been months since we’ve stopped talking and i still can’t stop thinking about him. i don’t even care about him that much in an objective sense, but i am genuinely obsessed with him. everything i see reminds me of him, and my mind is constantly running through thoughts about him and our situation — why did it go the way it did, what did i do wrong, does he still think about me, etc. it’s honestly so humiliating and makes me feel pathetic because i know he’s probably moved on by now, and i still can’t handle the thought or sight of him. i just wish i could stop ruminating, because it’s gotten so bad that i can’t focus on school or anything else in life. it’s so constant to the point where, when i bring it up to my friends (which is very often), i’m met with concern and even frustration rather than sympathy. how can i cope with the rumination? it’s genuinely exhausting, and i can’t sleep at night because my brain is just running like a motor. i have dreams about it almost nightly as well. anything helps!
I cant get over this thought that is messing my recovery up so much. it was “if you dont act on your thoughts this will never go away” which led to thoughts like if i even wanted to get better, if i even want my life back, if i even WANTED this to go away, etc. im scared. im confused. is this normal? am i gonna have to act on this stuff now? im mainly concerned about my family. i dont wanna hurt them. this disease is horrible. this subtype is horrible. i love my family. why would i want to hurt them? im so afraid this is it for me. i try to do what everyone tells me. ignore the thought, let it sit, sit with the uncertainty/discomfort but the anxiety doesn’t go away. this thought keeps coming back with a vengeance. i thought i was making great progress but im back where i was. i ruminate about this 24/7 and i dont know how to stop. we tried sitting on the couch together last night and it felt like i was RESISTING hurting them. im in constant awareness that i can act on these anytime and it hinders my daily life and work so much. everytime i talk to anyone in my family i feel things like i shouldnt be talking to them if im gonna hurt them and i dont deserve to be around them. i feel like i dont deserve to be alive, i dont deserve to be happy, and i dont deserve to be comfortable. i feel like a psycho whos never gonna get to live life with a husband and family. i feel like i don’t deserve my sweet boyfriend. i dont want my thoughts to latch onto him. this is my mind when i wake up, when i try to go about my day, and when i go to sleep. it feels like it just wont dissipate regardless of what i do. the cycle never ends. its been 4 MONTHS. what the fuck do i do anymore
I ruminated too much this morning and got distressing mental images (and confirmation) which sent me spiraling again. How do I stop thinking about this and how do I get back to myself? I feel destroyed.
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