Concerns about low libido and waning attraction to my partner.

Low libido issues

It’s sad to me that I haven’t been feeling larger amounts of attraction towards my partner recently makes me scared that my fears about not loving him anymore are true. I used to feel like I just wanted to be with him and talk with him a lot but now I feel more like I want to do projects or Art a lot of the time and it makes me worried that something is wrong. When we do engage in sexual activity I feel very not in the moment which is also super upsetting. I just want to go back to how it used to be.

Relationship OCD

Username: sunflower24sunflower24

Date posted: 2y ago

i totally understand this, the hardest thing is trying to make my partner understand that it is not his fault at all and i am just feeling really detached. luckily he’s been super supportive but i also worry it’s taking a toll on us in the long run

Username: s.j. s.j.

Date posted: 2y ago

Hailey you’re not alone I feel that often! I’m always worried I’m not in love anymore and I rarely have desire for my partner too. This definitely triggers me & makes me feel like I chose the wrong person. And not being present in the moment just adds to it 😭 My partner and I have found it really helpful when I tell him where I’m at in my headspace. It’s hard for both of us to adjust with me having a lower libido now, but we have found other ways to connect emotionally/spiritually/physically to create intimacy. We’ve even been able to talk about what if I don’t love him anymore and that I have these thoughts. I’m not sure that would be helpful for every relationship, and has led to my husband feeling hurt, but for me it helps to be real and face that fear. And he’s willing to go there with me. <3 I hope & pray you find acceptance for these thought patterns and grounding in your body as you are vulnerable with yourself and your partner. All the best to you dear. 💕

Username: Hailey24Hailey24

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you for your response, luckily me and my partners libido has always been not super high anyways so the biggest issue we run into is just not syncing up but that hasn’t been difficult to work through most of the time, it can just add to the fear for me which is hard. I have also talked to my parnter about the things I experience like if I don’t love him anymore and it has greatly helped to know he is in my corner and supporting me though everything. It definitely has lead my partner to feel hurt as well but it has been a good rule for me to say something once and not continue talking about it because constantly asking him for reassurance is a compulsion anyways. But he does want to know what’s happening with me. I will definitely try to find new ways to connect with him it has been difficult because I’ve been so confused but I will try new things and talk with him about it. I hope you and your husband have a great future! Thank you so much :)

Username: s.j. s.j.

Date posted: 2y ago

@Hailey24 Not syncing up 🙄🙄 lol the worst. But that’s beautiful! So happy you’re in a relationship that’s supportive when going to those places. and thank you :) all the best trying new things & ways to connect! stay gentle w yourself 🌱

Username: Anonymous<3Anonymous<3

Date posted: 2y ago

What you just explained just described my thoughts at the moment. I don’t have a sex drive like I used to . I’m not sure if it’s me or the Zoloft but it gives me so much anxiety and the intrusive thoughts I’m not in love with my partner and I feel so guilty that my partner may be feeling rejected . I feel no emotions lately just numbness and sad from time to time . I’m really fearful that he won’t understand and that he will leave. This whole situation is so hard to understand . I’m having a hard time processing all this in my head .

Username: Hailey24Hailey24

Date posted: 2y ago

Ya I really feel that, I’m so worried for the future because of all this but I hope it will be ok

Username: paufli

Date posted: 4y ago

Lately i've been having low sex drive and i dont know why. I thought maybe i dont feel attracted to my bf anymore, we have been together for 3 years now and I do love him but this year I felt less "sexually". Quarantine hit me hard the first months with ocd but now i feel better. I started to think that maybe I'm asexual and it makes me sad cause my bf has very high sex drive so I would have to break up with him and I don't want to :( I do masturbate sometimes but I don't feel that sexual attraction towards my boyfriend (or anyone) like the first year. So idk if it is rocd or I'm asexual or just stressed and depressed. It's exhausting

Username: ROCDmensch

Date posted: 1y ago

ROCD libido, compulsions

My recent theme with rocd is my sexlife. Sorry if this may be too personal or triggering for some. I try to keep it short. So basically at the moment I have almost no libido. And I catch myself ruminating whether this is normal and if it has something to do with my partner. I start focusing on his imperfections and check my feelings and if I feel aroused. It makes me very anxious. I try to be kinder to myself and not force sex or anything, but for me sex is very important and I would like to have a fulfilling intimacy. Maybe that's why OCD is focusing so much on it. My partner and I had problems with it before because of a sickness he had for a few months. At that time all I wanted was to be intimate and close to him, but it wasn't possible. Now that it is possible I don't want anymore and I feel so frustrated. Maybe I'm stressing myself to much, I also have hormonal problems (PCOS, pms)....any advise on this matter?

Relationship OCD

Username: Rocd-friend

Date posted: 45w ago

ROCD massive shifts

So confused how I can go from feeling this strong sense of “Nothing can happen to my husband, he needs to be safe, I’d never fall in love again or find a better man if something happened to him, we have to grow old together.” (For months!) to suddenly feeling “I’m not attracted to him, oh no my friends’ partners at this cabin retreat are more attractive than him, oh no everyone agrees they’re super attractive, no one said anything about him, maybe we’re going to split up one day because I don’t feel attracted enough to his personality and physicality and maybe that’s why I have vaginismus.” Trying to ride out the wave and figure out what my values are telling me. I know everyone goes through less attracted periods (this one literally started in the car on the way to the cabin so it’s been two days and a half but my brain is thinking such DIRE and depressing thoughts constantly). Anyone have any helpful resources they might recommend? I really wish my attraction wouldn’t unplug like a cord. It seems to be very triggered by public settings with comparison to super cute and happy couples and/ or by my own feelings of boredom with more nerdy topics he discusses with friends.

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Concerns about low libido and waning attraction to my partner.

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