I think about this a lot. If my relationship with my husband was arranged (like they do in some cultures), the pressure of being in the right relationship would be less. I would feel less responsibility for having made the best choice possible. I would make the best of my relationship and worry less about everything else. Random thought :)
The following is just an opinion/food for thought. If it doesn't resonate with you, feel free to disregard. Your relationship might not be arranged, but who's to say that we *must* find & be in the "right relationship?" Is there even an objective definition of the "right relationship?" There are no rules here. You are completely allowed to make the best of your relationship. Maybe it's the "right" one, maybe it's not. But what does that even matter at the end of the day? I think us people with OCD often feel as though we *must* follow certain rules or that things *must* be a certain way. Example: We *must* be in the right relationship. But at the end of our lives, no one is going to tell us whether this was the right relationship or not, and no one will reprimand us if we've somehow been in the wrong relationship--because there is just no objective right relationship. Enjoy your relationship & make the most of it, because maybe the right relationship is the one that we & our partner willingly choose to nourish & commit to. And obvious exceptions here are abuse.
I love this! You put it so well!! You’re right- there literally is not a “right” answer to this. It seems obvious, but we tend to not see it that way. I appreciate the insight. I’ll be thinking on this for a while :)
Yup I love this! You have an awesome point :) thank you
Finally someone put it into words!
I’m glad you can relate! It is so hard to find people who “get it.”
Yep! Thought this too! Well said. You aren’t alone…:
Thanks :)
Kind of similarly, I have had the thought of wishing to just get pregnant with my partner so that I would stop trying to figure out if I was in the relationship and focus on making it the best possible without worry. Obviously and realistically I don’t want a child before I am ready but that’s definitely crossed my mind. I have felt like taking away the feeling of choice would force me to find peace.
I can definitely emphasize with this! So much pressure otherwise!
Kind of along the same lines..but I have these random thoughts about “if we were in the apocalypse or it was JUST us then the societal pressure would be lifted and I wouldn’t be anxious anymore” if that makes sense??
Absolutely!! I feel the same way. The pressure is too intense and incredibly hard to shake. It isn’t just a matter of “just let it go.”
It’s hard not to care when you care haha
Other people think this too??? 🤣 but if I was in an arranged marriage, I would probably be obsessing if I chose the right partner for the arranged marriage (yknow since usually there is a meeting period)
Lol it would only work if there was no meeting period!
Rocd! Anyone else ever have a worry that they’d rather be with their ex? I don’t actually think it, but I worry that I would want that, and then I feel guilty, like my minds already made up. It gets me super anxious and upset. Makes me feel as if I’ve betrayed the girl I just married, and that my life is ruined. Now. I would never leave her, I don’t want to leave her, I don’t want to lose her, and I certainly don’t want to go back to my ex. But my mental obsessing over that scenario is driving me crazy, and causing me to doubt myself.
Hi everyone! I wanted to ask a quick question. My partner and I are interested in taking the next step in our relationship - getting engaged then getting married. However, I obviously still struggle with ROCD which distresses me. I am very attracted to him, but have these thoughts that “he’s not the right person for you” even though that couldnt seem further from true. If anyone on here is married, can you share how you made the personal decision to get married to your current partner? Thanks in advance!!
To those with SOOCD, Do any of you obsess more about the romantic side of things? I am married to my amazing hubby. But I have questions in my mind like "what if I am bi? What if I could just as easily be with a woman like I can with a man?" I hate these thoughts!
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