- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
You might never know. We don't and can't know a lot of things with utmost certainty--especially the way OCD demands. You can still choose to live by your values and chase your goals--use those as a guide for what to do. OCD will make us doubt EVERYTHING, so we have to choose to live without certainty if we want to move forward.
- Date posted
- 6y
I worry a lot about how my relationship will manifest in the future, especially in regards to marriage and children. But it is impossible to know for certain what is going to happen. I'm learning to live with the possibility that something *might* happen. I'm learning to focus on what is going on now, so that I'm not sabotaging the present by worrying excessively about the future. It's hard, but I want to move forward and enjoy what I have now because now is all that exists.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much! I’m never really had these thoughts to the extreme that I did earlier and it really freaked me out. Your words are comforting though. I appreciate your view of how you move through this towards what you want.
- Date posted
- 6y
You're welcome! OCD can be really scary. It's so great to have this community. We're all battling OCD together!
- Date posted
- 6y
Anyone with ROCD get married and get past it?
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm not married, btw. I'm in a long term relationship, and I struggle with ROCD.
- Date posted
- 6y
This is my first bf and we're going to marry on july. My ROCD has been the worst after we engaded. I hope that after wedding I can be a bit more free about my thoughts. During my life my jumps to unknown and to uncertainty have been terrible but after jumps I have feel better and my uncertainty have come tinier. Very often I have felt freedom and happiness you can never imagine. I want to believe that it will go like this also on this time allthought it feels impossible many often because of ROCD and my thousand doubts. It has been very rought with my man last months, but he still loves me and want to merry me allthough I have said bad things and my feelings have been messy. His love gives me hope.
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you. Good luck with your marriage!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
I know I love my fiancé so much. The 5 years we have been together have been the best of my life, yet I am questioning everything all the time. The constant doubts and fears and negative thoughts about him are so loud and so persistent. It feels like this will never end
- Date posted
- 15w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
- Date posted
- 15w
Hi everyone. I’m really struggling and I need to let it all out. I’ve been dealing with ROCD (or what I think is ROCD) for a long time, and I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I’m in a loving relationship with a boyfriend who is kind, understanding, and patient. But ever since I started reading a lot online, googling symptoms, talking to AI like ChatGPT, searching for reassurance, things have gotten worse and worse. And now… I feel completely disconnected from my feelings. I don’t know what’s real anymore. My boyfriend told me that he believes I’ve convinced myself that I have something that needs to be treated, and that all this constant researching is making me feel worse. And honestly, I think he’s right. Before I fell into this cycle, I could be more intimate with him. I used to say “I love you,” I used to feel warmth. Now I don’t say it anymore. I haven’t in a long time. And it hurts him. And I know I’m hurting him, and that makes it even worse. He also said that maybe I’m having these obsessive thoughts because I don’t have a daily purpose, that I need to get occupied, to stop being consumed by this. And others in my life have told me the same. He even suggested taking a break from each other for a week, just to give me space. But I’m terrified of that. I’m scared that the thing I fear most will become “the truth.” I’m scared I’ll feel relief, and that will mean everything I fear is real. But he told me that if I don’t want the break, maybe it means I still care. Still love. Still want this. The problem is, I don’t know anymore. And that’s what’s killing me. I’ve also had a psychologist who told me that just because I feel guilt or “care,” it doesn’t necessarily mean I like him — and that sent me spiraling. She said that maybe I care about people in general, but it doesn’t mean I love him. And it made me feel like I’m just lying to myself. That maybe I’m holding on out of obligation, or because I set in my head that I “have to be with him.” And even when he tells me beautiful things — logical things — things that SHOULD make me feel safe and seen… I don’t feel better. I just feel more empty. And then I start spiraling again: “If this doesn’t help me feel better, then something must be wrong.” “What if I’m just pretending?” “What if I’ve been lying to myself all along?” I feel like there’s something wrong inside of me. Like no matter what anyone says, or how much love I’m given, I can’t feel it. I just want to know what to do. I want someone to tell me what this is. I want to stop feeling like I’m running after a version of myself that used to feel, used to love, used to be calm. I don’t know if this is ROCD or if I’m just slowly facing a truth I’ve been afraid to accept. Please, if anyone has felt this way, I need to hear that I’m not alone. And if you’ve come out the other side… how? My relationship is perfect and he is perfect, i just deal with this and i am far from happy.
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