Fandom and PO-OCD

Haha so this is me being extremely vulnerable rn cause this is one of the thoughts that constantly circles in my head when I’m having a flare up like rn :’) But the topic of ‘sexualising fictional minor characters’ is basically an inescapable drama within fandom spaces no matter what fandom I’m in (even though I’m currently in a fanbase with basically no cannon minor characters: Transformers) And, I’m kinda on the fence about it all, but I think I lean towards the people who say you shouldn’t sexualise fictional minor characters because, y’a know, representation matters (and I don’t agree with Shota/Lolicon whatsoever) - but that’s where my OCD gets hung up Cause there’s another part of me that’s like- it’s fiction- we shouldn’t treat fictional characters as if they’re real people- but I also don’t consume that content anymore(I did when I was a minor) and y’a know, those fictional minor characters I had a crush on growing up and it feels weird now that you’ll be called a p*** for saying you like said character :’) But I don’t consume that content anymore, and generally tend to stay away from those spaces that have the drama/content the most (anime especially) cause all it does is make me anxious and flare up my OCD and make me scared of getting cancelled - despite never making that kind of content or consuming that content as an adult - like!?!?!????? Why is this what my OCD decides to latch onto and say “COnsUmInG tHAT cOnTEnT mEaNS tHAt YoU lOOKeD aT CP SO yOur A P*** nOW!!!!!!” Idk, I think I mostly just hate that people will call you a p*** straight up for that kind of stuff (which obvi, no one has to consume that content and you should be able to block whoever you want especially if that content makes you uncomfy/triggered or you just don’t agree with it) My OCD tells me “it’s cause you do actually want to look at that content because you obviously still have a crush on those fictional characters- and since everyone says that you’re a p*** if you consume that content- then you’re a p***” This all feels really dumb to type out, but does anyone else have this issue? It’s definitely what flares up my OCD the most and makes me think I’m just a p*** in denial (doesn’t help that I was a queer in denial on top of that so my OCD latches onto that too) : (

POCD

[Deleted]

Date posted: 3y

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Thelp2001

Date posted: 3y

@DRSF1 Thanks! I’ll have to give it a go- very tired of being so anxious all the time about it😭

[Deleted]

Date posted: 3y

Comment deleted by user

Thelp2001

Date posted: 3y

Same here! So glad I’m not the only one who deals with this situation😭 it can feel especially alienating since people on the net can be so quick to block or call you a p*** about this sort of thing :’)

SunnyAnon

Date posted: 25w

ocd + interests + online discussions

i’ve been having this theme pop up recently where if I see people either criticize or be a hater and spread misinformation or seeing old controversies about my current interests/hyper-fixations i find myself having a crazy anxiety attack about if it’s “morally okay” to be interested in my interests anymore. i feel really singled out and like im doing something wrong because im watching a youtuber or listening to a specific musical group. in all of these specific situations the people involved have talked about the situations and have changed accordingly but seeing it makes me feel like i shouldn’t be allowed to like my favorite things. to be clear none of these things are dramatically evil or bad. it’s either misinformation/uneducated people influencing someone opinion and then they learn and change. it just makes me feel like im not allowed to like my favorite things anymore because of people criticizing it??? if that makes sense??? also this is a little off topic but also not really because i’m 99.99% sure im autistic because of MANY things but with this specifically i have very strong interests and i feel very deep feelings about them and any and all criticism or hateful comments towards my favorite things trigger me deeply and make my ocd act up and make me feel uncomfortable and uncertain and anxious and it causes physical discomfort to me. i really don’t know how to calm myself down about this specific theme it’s brand new and makes me feel really anxious. not trying to look for reassurance but does anyone else understand what i mean??? does anyone have any advice on how to not give into the negative comments??? any suggestions on how to ease this specific anxiety???

"Pure" OCD

💟

Date posted: 23w

kink stuff (sorry this is long)

I was looking up stuff about kinks, because my friend is trying to help me "get out there", and I took the bdsm test to see where I land on it. I got 100% vanilla, and I was a little embarassed so I decided to Google things like "is it normal to not have a lot of kinks" or "what % of the population is into kink" and when I scrolled down a bit, I clicked on one of the little suggestion things with the arrow that said "are men more prone to enjoying kink than women" and it revealed a blurb from the website that said that men are in fact more inclined to kink, but also mentioned that it also means they're more inclined to p*dophellia, which sort of set off all these questions in my head of like "Wait so if p*dophellia is just a kink, does that make it more likely that I have it? Because scientenists still don't know what causes it so what if events in my childhood led up to me having it to some extent" and I started kind of going down this internal rabbit hole of trying to figure out how likely it is that I have it or some form of it bc if it's just a kink and not a mental illness than it feels more feasible? Idk I'm a woman so ik it's not AS common in us but it's still possible. I'm doing a little better with redirecting my attention and cooling my anxiety but I had an onslaught of intrusive images before falling asleep like I used to have when I first started experiencing this fear. It's been really catapulting me back to the beginning and I find that I'm ruminating on when it started and if it really means I'm a p or not. I know it's classic ocd but it's hard when it doesn't feel that way ;-; anyway, I'm too scared to Google bc i know it'll be a form of reassurance but also I'm just scared of having anything related to that in my search history so I just thought I'd post here. Anyone else have conflicting thoughts like this?

Givenup

Date posted: 19w

Pocd and my situation

Youtubers are constantly getting accused of doing p*dophilic activity and its making me think my real events are as bad or as worse as them... Ive vented a lot to a lot of people in the PM's about my OCD... some of them younger (minors)... because I wanted reassurance from everyone and anyone... but this situation triggers me the most because I was venting about my 18+ HOCD situations... In an HOCD support group I was in, I vented to 2 minors in the PM's about my 18+ HOCD situations... The leader of the support group (that i vented to) was 17... I was 19 at the time... the other minor i vented to was younger (14-15)... the younger one told me she was uncomfortable when i vented to her in the PM's twice... i stopped and blocked her after she told me the second time... i kept asking the leader of the support group for reassurance for my 18+ HOCD situations for months because she kept giving me reassurance... i thought she was cute but didnt pursue her because of my age... i dont ever want to ever be a P or a MAP or a groomer in any way... I keep getting this gut feeling in my stomach that i "flirted" with the younger one that I vented to, who i blocked after she told me twice she was uncomfortable about me venting about my 18+ hocd situations... i didnt ever vent to them for malicious intent... I was trying to get reassurance for my hocd... Plus my pocd keeps saying I cant have any opinions online because of my pocd and real events ocd situations and that Im not a good person so I cant say anything online... Also i keep getting intrusive thoughts of people labelling me as a P and a MAP in the future because of these pocd real events... And i keep getting intrusive thoughts of being outcasted and "cancelled" online when someone "exposes" me for my POCD and real events OCD...

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Fandom and PO-OCD

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