I’m having a rough time rn. My parents both told me that they don’t think I could or should be a dr (I’m going to be a sr in college this year). They said that I have too many and too intense of problems to be one - I’ve got OCD, depression, and dermotillomania (skin picking). Normally, I brush things ppl say off pretty easily, but not w my parents. I love them and really care about their opinion. But it’s making me even more depressed, as one of the last things I was holding onto was the thought that I would be able to use my experiences to be an even better dr than I would have been before getting these things. I’ve been suicidal for a long time but I always told myself that I was going to get through this and use it to help ppl. But it’s tearing away my last shreds knowing that not even the ppl I care about the most think I can achieve my dreams. ?

So I’ve been having suicidal thoughts and thoughts of self harm because of incredibly bad depression and self loathing. While I know I probably won’t commit suicide, because I love my family and friends too much to hurt them like that, I also acknowledge that my mentality is incredibly fragile and I could probably change my mind and go through with if faced with any other major problem or challenge. I feel like I’m slowly losing my mind, dissociating, and losing connection with reality. I’m tired of feeling this way, and I feel like I’m losing my grip on my emotions. I feel like I’m losing myself, or I’ve already lost myself. And I keep thinking my parents probably don’t love me anymore for not being so funloving and happy as I used to be. I know this probably isn’t true but I’m just waiting for any implication they don’t love me anymore so I can go through with it. I’m hanging on for them and for the hope I can get better, but it’s hard. At one point I even thought about committing suicide after the holidays were over, so I could spend one last holiday with them. But I know things will probably get better and I’d probably regret it more than anything if I tried to go through with it. I’m holding on for dear life and I don’t know if I should tell them. I don’t want to ruin their happiness anymore than I have. I don’t want to cause any distress or pain but I just feel like I have no one else to go to. I don’t have a therapist at the moment, and I won’t talk to my friends about my mental health issues because I’m afraid they’ll pull away. But I’ve already been to the mental hospital twice in the past and it cost a lot of money and caused a lot of stress and sadness in my family. I don’t want to put them through that again. I feel like if I tell them it’ll make them resent me. I just want this all to stop and go back to the way it was years ago when I was happy and healthy. I have things I want to do, even if it’s only minor, and places I want to see. But I also feel like a failure and a disappointment and I can barely look myself in the mirror because I think I’m so ugly. A part of me just wants to give up but I’m doing my best to hang on. Should I tell them? Or should I just keep it to myself and hope it passes soon?

(Trigger warning bc my parents are bullies lol) After six months of applying to and visiting various places, I FINALLY heard back from a grocery store. Set up an interview for tomorrow. I was overjoyed, felt my life was finally looking up, and I went to tell my family. Everyone was happy for me, that is, until my dad found out. Cue two hours of yelling, insults, and tears. My dad told me if I work at a grocery store, then that means he and my mom failed as parents. I was told I was better than this, that I should not be aiming for places where former criminals go. That I would be bullied and harassed by employees because I’m “smart” and “better than them” (the audacity of my dad to suggest I was better than anyone w a lower education was nasty af). He told me they wasted hundreds of thousands of dollars on me in college expenses just so I could work in a grocery store (MY FIRST job ever by the way, because I wasn’t allowed to work until I graduated college). He told me working part time for “experience” makes no sense and that no successful place will want to hire me after seeing I worked at a grocery store after college. My dad told me I should be at some successful firm as an economist, even though that’s NOT what I want! He asked why I even studied economics to begin with, when what happened (although he will claim to not remember) is he MADE me major in it, telling me I can pursue my true passion (graphic art and theatre) after I get a good degree. I was LIED TO. Everything I did was to impress him! Studied tirelessly in school, got all A’s, went to the college HE asked for, went for the degree HE asked for, all to get metaphorically slapped in the face because I chose an easy first job. Now I have zero motivation for this interview tomorrow. Sounds like my dad is not allowing me to work there. He told me that if I do, then I am not allowed to quit for six months no matter how much I get bullied or harassed, and that he won’t save me. He’s also going to put me into driving school so I will have no time to work (which makes sense, but it’s a long story why I don’t have my license…). And he’s also going to make me apply for jobs HE wants me to be in. Guys, I’m going to fail this interview…I was so happy. I thought I was doing good. Now I feel like an utter failure.

hi, im graduating high school next year and i wanna go to uni and my biggest dream is to go to a med school. I've had this dream since I was a little girl. but in 2021 my ocd and other disorders got so bad that I couldn't function. my dream of studying medicine got crushed. but I got much better this year, I'm feeling like myslef again, I'm trying new things I couldn't before because of ocd. and ive got hope again that I could get into uni. my parents, sisters and close friends are really happy and they are really supportive about me wanting to go to med school. but some of my teachers are like, are you sure? it's gonna be too hard, why don't you do something else (when i choose biology and biochem class, my teacher went to talk to my friend and told her im not good enough for that class. and i dont get it like how? i think im really good at these subjects) and my other friends and classmates think I'm stupid and not good enough for this uni. I know I shouldn't let that affect me. but I dont how. I'm so sad that they don't belive in me and im scared it's gonna affect me and I'll also stop believing in myslef. I'm really doubting myslef and im in such a bad mood. I need to work on this, to not take things too personally. does anyone have advice for this, please?