ROCD & Sadness

Same here! I’m feeling anxious about it today but most of the time now it’s just sadness. It always feels like a “deep knowing” or “gut feeling” that I need to leave which I’m ignoring. I’m also experiencing this a year into my relationship after experiencing it from the beginning. I thought I’d be over it and confident in my feelings by now. I feel guilty because I feel like I’m leading him on

3 years into mine, I don't even know how long I've had it just realized it a year ago.

I have been with my now husband for 10 years, since the beginning I have had ROCD. I’ll tell you that the ROCD comes and goes (as do other themes). There are times when you don’t doubt at all and times when you doubt everything. Granted, I have never finished treatment, so it didn’t have to be this way. I’m trying to do better with this because my ROCD is so bad right now. And I think that feeling that we are just fooling ourselves is part of ROCD. At least that is the way I look at it because I don’t think non-OCD people have such massive anxiety about these things, but I could be wrong. Regardless of whether we are fooling ourselves, most of us can acknowledge that there are wonderful moments in our relationships and that the human we are with can’t be a waste of time or a regret.

I completely understand - it’s like I am armed with all the knowledge and the facts about what it truly is but can’t help feeling upset which then translates to ‘I’m not happy’ to ‘I’m not happy in this relationship’ and the spiral continues

I just feel like I know I could be happier without him (because I’d be free on the constant intrusive thoughts) but that just seems like such a sad option but why am I putting myself through this