Username: dragon_calves

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Anyone with ROCD in a long-term relationship?

I’m married and have been with my husband for almost 10 years. The ROCD has always been there—it comes and goes. Great times and bad times. Anyway, do you all find yourself getting ROCD triggered by certain behaviors done by your partner? For example, my husband will say something annoying to me and then I get a surge of anxiety. I’m so tired of this response. Like, why can’t I just let it go. I say this because lots of posts on here talk about ROCD being triggered randomly (by internal events such as feelings) and not by actual events that occur in a relationship. But especially when you have been with someone for a long time, actual shit happens in your relationship. But of course, ROCD makes me feel all these things mean I shouldn’t be with him. “If you find him annoying, then he isn’t right for you.” Can anyone relate?

Relationship OCD

Username: SquirtleSquirtle

Date posted: 2y ago

I completely relate. I’ve been in a relationship for about 2 and a half years now with a great person, but I get intrusive thoughts triggered by minuscule things that he or I does. So frustrating lol, but just recognizing that they’re intrusive thoughts helps a lot!

Username: Emmi Emmi

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes, my boyfriend & I have been together for almost 2 years, I didn't get ROCD until almost 9 months ago. My ROCD has been off and on. Lately its been high because this month our relationship hasn't been the best. It's been constant bickering with each other over things he has been doing or me. It makes me start getting a lot more anxiety again and questioning

Username: dragon_calvesdragon_calves

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Absolutely! I understand. We don’t talk about that enough- managing ROCD and normative relationship conflict (obviously not including abuse and mistreatment). Both things can be managed :) hang in there!

Username: redmuse22redmuse22

Date posted: 2y ago

Married for 4 years, dating for 11 years. I had a bit of a revelation that my ROCD/OCD in general was triggering arguments and part of the cycle of then raising my anxiety because it was "proof" for the ROCD. Conflict management skills and healthy communication are both things that I think can help a lot as a supplement. Because knowing thoughts are intrusive isn't the sole solution to when I pick fights as a misplaced way to handle my anxiety. I'm still in the process of working on healthier communication habits but realizing the source of tension (at least on my side) does make it seem more manageable. Its no longer an inevitable thing that we "have" to have an argument.

Username: dragon_calvesdragon_calves

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Thanks so much! I completely agree. I appreciate you sharing your experience :)

Username: MaedayMaeday

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

I've been married 16 years. I didn't know I had OCD when we were dating. It was probably relationship anxiety, but I struggled a lot with knowing if he is "the one". I never got an answer about that. We got married anyway. It's so hard. ROCD likes to tell me how I was young and stupid and immature = "how could you possibly have made a good choice in marriage partner?" It's been off and on too, but more on. Marriage does mean that crap hits the fan and ROCD points the crappy finger at us or our partner. I hate that everyone says to "trust your gut" or "follow your feelings" when my feelings are stupid liars. Sorry, I'm venting. I'm really sick of being mentally ill.

Username: dragon_calvesdragon_calves

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Thanks for responding! I can relate. I have had this forever. I also have those thoughts about having made a mistake etc. Have you done formal treatment?

Username: MaedayMaeday

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@dragon_calves I did regular therapy/marriage therapy. That helped a lot with our relationship. Not so much with the intrusive thoughts. I've been seeing a therapist at NOCD for about 1 1/2 months.

Username: dragon_calvesdragon_calves

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@Maeday Oh that is great! I’m going to start up NOCD soon :) I have done erp before, but never have stuck with it

Username: Lemon90Lemon90

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes I do but my anxiety then comes from a place of what my partner thinks of me in that moment

Username: savvysavvy

Date posted: 4y ago

So my most current theme has been ROCD. It’s been nagging at me for the last 4 years. OCD makes me INCREDIBLY self critical and I often turn that internal voice on to my partner and can be incredibly critical of him. In essence, I’m almost subconsciously sabotaging my relationship which is the OPPOSITE of what I want. I’m looking for people who experience this same response and patterned behaviour. Share tips, in-the-moment awareness suggestions. Words of encouragement (not reassurance). OCD is such a trip lol

Username: Genieinabottle

Date posted: 2y ago

ROCD with real event?

So my husband and I have been married for almost 10 years now. We got married young and real quick about 9 months after dating. When we got married my husband used to be a very friendly flirty person but in a harmless way. He didn’t really think of the consequences of the things he’d say he would just blurt it out lol like no filter. Anyway, sometimes he would make compliments at my sister and for some reason that made me upset. She had a boyfriend at the time, anyway fast forward a few months and I guess my sisters boyfriend and my husband were having “guy talk” which I don’t quite understand that. But my sisters boyfriend made a comment about me having nice legs and my husband made a comment back about my sister having big boobs or a nice chest and he’s a lucky guy. Fast forward a couple months later to Halloween he texted her about her Halloween costume teasing her since the stockings she was wearing looked like tan likes but at the point I was so sensitive about the boob comment that the stocking comment alarmed me. I want to mention my husband has changed a ton, he’s no longer immature lol we are in our 30s now he’s reserved and talks about our future non stop and worries for me, all the things a woman wants in a husband. I’ve been good for 4.5 years never bringing this topic up but for some reason I’m stuck in a loop that he made those comments because he wanted my sister and not me and the anxiety that comes with it is unbearable. It’s like I feel this so deeply so it must me true? I can’t tell if it’s because I’m so stuck it feels real and that it is the case and he does like my sister or I’m in denial and want someone to tell me it’s not true. I just want it all to stop because we have such beautiful memories and now I’m focused on a moment of what was immaturity. If you took the time to read this I appreciate you. I’ve asked him a thousand times if he made those comments because he desired her and he said absolutely not, in fact they always bicker and he’s always picking on her calling her boring so she’s not really his type. My mother knows about this and she thinks it was a moment of immaturity and he’s a good man.l and never noticed him being interested in my sister. My sister who was on the receiving end of this says no that’s not the case he was just a dumb ass and my mother in law says I need to get over it. But here I am stuck and I can’t get unstuck. It’s all I can think about. Is what I feel real and Is it true or is this my OCD blowing up the situation more than it really is? Thanks for your time.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Anyone relate (ROCD)

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is an absolute angel. All throughout the relationship I would have nightmares and intrusive thoughts “what if he leaves/cheats”. And he would reassure me and treat me like the world revolves around me. Lately I’m realizing this was actually ocd and not anxiety as I had previously thought. I would get paranoid if he didn’t check his messages for a couple hours, I’d get anxious if I saw an ambulance heading toward his street while I was driving, I would ask for reassurance that he loved me constantly. Bear in mind, I have no reason to have these fears. My boyfriend is my best friend and has supported me through thick and thin and he’s amazing. One time a couple months ago I was being a bit snappy with him one night and I had the thought “only people who don’t like their partners are snappy with them” and it just stuck. Now I struggle with intrusive thoughts about my own feelings, do I love him, do I miss him enough, is my relationship going to end because this couple on social media broke up. I could deal with the thoughts about his feelings because he is so so good about making me feel loved but now I’m stuck in this constant guilt loop where I question my relationship for no reason then get anxious and feel guilty for even thinking that way because I think I’m manifesting it. Was wondering if anybody else in a healthy long term relationship has had this happen to them and how you talk yourself down :(

Relationship OCD

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