Sero82

Date posted: 3y

Advice?

Boyfriend and I are going through a rough time. When I go out now, it feels like I'm genuinely attracted to people and I try my best to always ignore everyone that makes me feel that way. Sometimes, I feel like I play too much into when someone is attracted to me and that makes me feel guilty (never have acted on it, never would, what I mean by this is I feel like I enjoy it too much) that makes me feel guilty and uncomfortable. I would never betray my SO but I'm beginning to feel guilty for not feeling guilty or reacting against these thoughts and feelings because they feel like mine. I'm scared that they are because I don't want to lose my bf but now even in my head I say I don't care if he breaks up with me and don't react to it but I don't want that to be true. I don't want to be attracted to other people but it feels like I am. I don't really know much about intrusive feelings but these feel damn real and like they're mine. It's like I like them. I want this to make me anxious, I'm scared my "ROCD" is really just me in denial and this is just a whole lot of disrespect against my partner that I know would hurt him. I don't want him to think anyone else has my attention because no one else does but all these feelings and attractions are killing me.

Relationship OCD

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

Love is a choice. It goes beyond feelings and the feeling of attraction of others. I struggle with this to a lot. But I remember I choice my gf just as she choices me. Even though we are attracted to others we still choice and love each other. But since I’m the one with ocd it’s hard. It’s hard when you don’t want to hurt them. But I get it.

Sero82

Date posted: 3y

Do you ever feel the urge to confess in your relationship? Bc I feel like I played too much into someone else's attention in my case but I don't know if my urge to confess comes from my perception of seriousness of the situation or anxiety of ocd. If you do experience this urge, how do you differentiate?

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@Sero82 That was the reply. Just didn’t know if you would get a notification if I didn’t reply under yours

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

I suffer with that also. I feel like sometimes even just laughing or smiling or conversating with the opposite sex means that I’m cheating or flirting and that I want to be with them rather than my gf. And I know that ROCD can come in many forms so I just start off with the assumption it’s ocd. I and still working on having friends of the opposite sex because of this.

Sero82

Date posted: 3y

Do you think you should always confess what you perceive are real issues for minor things that you do end up perceiving as problems because of how much you've overvalued or analyzed the situation? Because I feel like playing in to someone's attention would qualify for that even though you'd not act on it or want it, but I really can't disect it with how anxious I feel.

Melody2022

Date posted: 3y

I definitely feel you on that, but it helps to know that love is a choice. I’ve been dealing with this for a straight month and because I’m so numb and unsure of how I feel, my brain automatically perceives it as “meet other people” but I don’t want to. We have a good thing going, but this Rocd has made me act on compulsions, avoid things that remind me of anxiety/relationships- it’s awful

Sero82

Date posted: 3y

It's really hard when you're actually going through something in you're relationship though. It feels like I become more prone to the attraction of others, it makes me feel like I don't value my relationship if I'm just going to skip out on it the second it gets hard (metamorphically)

Anonymous help

Date posted: 3y

This is exactly what im going through rn. Lmk if u wanna priv chat.

Sero82

Date posted: 3y

That would be nice!

Anonymous help

Date posted: 3y

@Sero82 Discord: QueenBee#1163

Sero82

Date posted: 3y

@Anonymous help Sent request, discord: KG#7037

idontknowmyname

Date posted: 3y

I can also relate, and I agree with the responses saying that love is a choice/decision. Keep fighting!

nessy

Date posted: 24w

Flirted by a stranger, causing ROCD flare up.

I’ve been with my partner for about 7 years. I thought I was over the ROCD for a while. But I’ve been under a lot of stress. I’m moving in with him next week, but I lost my job due to severe anxiety and depression affecting my job. (I hated working there) It’s been stressful trying to find another job while moving and I’ve noticed I would occasionally get intrusive thoughts, but I managed to ignore them, especially with the help of medication. However just today I went shopping for groceries and this stranger asked for my number and called me cute. I can’t lie it was flattering but I rejected him and confirmed I had a partner and it was serious. He was very friendly about it and I went home. But now I’m getting these intrusive thoughts like “You want him instead of your partner.” “You’d rather be with him.” “You felt flattered so you want to be in a relationship with him instead and cheat on your partner or break up with your partner.” It’s been so hard since coming back home because while I was flattered, my brain keeps thinking I’ve cheated for some reason or want to cheat or break up with my partner. For reference, I’m demisexual which means I don’t have any attraction until I develop a strong emotional connection with someone. So I wasn’t attracted to this stranger but I keep thinking I am? I really hate this because I love my partner so much and I thought I was over all of this. Any advice when a flare up like this happens? I assume it’s a flare up because I hate how real it feels, it makes me feel sick with anxiety.

sley_13

Date posted: 23w

ROCD

I’ve been with my partner for almost a year now, and my rocd has become really really bad. I keep feeling like I fell out of love and I just have eyes for other people now, and that I would rather be with someone else. It feels like I’m infatuated with other people and it makes me so guilty. It’s been so hard for me because it’s hard to tell if it’s just my brain convincing me I don’t love my partner or if this is really my desire. The biggest fear I have is hurting my partner, so there’s also a sense of urgency that I need to tell them how I’ve been feeling to prevent myself from leading them on I guess. This is compounded with a history of porn addiction that still affects me and makes me feel like I’m more attracted to others. Has anyone else been in this position? I feel like I’m alone and that this is the sign that I’m terrible and shouldn’t be with my partner and that the end of our relationship is inevitable. I can’t tell if I really love them or not and if I really want to still be with them and I hate that I’m having that doubt.

Mariabae

Date posted: 18w

please read

Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth

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