Sex and SO-OCD

Hi everyone! I’m new to this community, but I wanted to put this out there to see if anyone can relate. I really started experiencing my SO-OCD about eight months ago. I use events from my past to justify me possibly being bi/lesbian despite being straight while also using my traumas as evidence. Specifically, I’ve always been sex adverse. I was molested as a young child, and have also experienced sexual abuse in one of my relationships. This has made it extremely difficult to be intimate with my partner and provides my OCD with cause to believe that maybe I’m just having sex with the wrong gender and I should break up with my amazing boyfriend to have sex with a woman. Can anyone relate?

Sexual Orientation OCD

khm

Date posted: 3y

I’m not sure how helpful this may make you feel, I myself have dealt with sexual trauma but not to the extent you had to unfortunately go through and I apologize about that, that’s something that never should have happened and I hope you are or have healed from those events. I haven’t had any serious relationship or even really been very sexual as I just wasn’t really attracted to anyone at my school (high school) I’m in college now and I want to find someone to be with and share those experiences with but it just never works out or it’ll be over the phone and long distance and so I tend to not make the best choices and get hurt in the end but I’ve been thinking or asking or getting anxious and ruminating about if I even want to be with a guy or even have a romantic relationship ship with them or have sex with them and if I’d rather have that with a woman and also if I even liked men the way I thought I did? I don’t know how to best explain it because it’s all just so confusing and discouraging because you try to tell yourself that yes you do want to be with a guy or whoever you choose to be with and for whatever reason it feels wrong and you don’t know why and it just scares you into believing that everything you felt was a lie and I have noticed like my memories morphing to confirm my ocd but sometimes it feels so real that it’s how I really felt and that this is my true self or something, but it could be some kind of insecurity of mine as well as I’ve never really felt desired or attractive and never felt like I was worth a relationship or marriage and especially now it’s been difficult to envision myself in a situation like that in the future and it makes me wonder now if it’s something I even want or have wanted (including things like starting a family or even just have a relationship with anyone in general romantically but preferably a guy) I’m not sure if this might’ve helped I hoped it did!

khm

Date posted: 3y

@khm So sorry it’s so long!!! and sorry for any typos!!

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

Look, it all have went to shit when you’ve dated men, and that makes you think a little bit further because you want to feel safe and not like this. If you like the thoughts of having sex with a woman, holding hands with them or just be in a relationship with them, then it’s a possibility that you’re gay, or maybe bi. But remember that OCD can convince you to feel that way to in a false perspective.

marbo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

Determining sexuality with SOOCD

Anyone who has had sexual orientation OCD since the “dating age” (middle school/high school)— how did you ever determine your sexuality? I don’t want reassurance because I understand our experiences may be different. I’m just curious— did you try boys and girls? Did you just find your person and know? I started having SOOCD at age 16 and I’m now 28. OCD has ruined my ability to date more than anything else. I feel like it stole my chance at love. I’ve had three long-term situationships with men. I adored them but they were also toxic because I think I subconsciously didn’t believe I deserved better. I felt that if I knew the relationship wouldn’t work because of fundamental differences, at least it was okay that I couldn’t fully be present in the relationship. Not sure if this makes sense, but I’m just grieving that part of my life I missed out on.

niu

Date posted: 15w

SOCD, Real Event, porn

I never read someone talk about this so I wanted to know if it applies to anyone as well. For context: I deal with ROCD and SOCD but I do identify as straight and am in a (happy) relationship with a man. What often triggers me is memories about childhood and adolescences about having the groinal toward nudity in porn or music videos. Because I can’t deny having watched other things than straight porn and experimenting with porn I simply can’t stop trying to figure out what that might have meant and if i deep down have actually a other sexual orientation than the one that I feel comfortable identifying with. I only hear people talking about random triggers but never the REAL memory of arousal to pornography and so on.

sofiaraaah7

Date posted: 11w

TOCD and very light SO-OCD

I wouldn’t really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go “what if I like her but as a man?” like my thoughts say I’m a straight man instead of a straight woman. And it’s really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say “no no no no no” multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but it’s hard to not do it because it’s so triggering. Now I don’t mind if I like women, however I’m really scared that I’m actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I don’t want to be a man. Like I’ll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I don’t want to be a man at all and I don’t want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but I’m still so scared. I’ll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so it’s definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? 🥲

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Sex and SO-OCD

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