Ocd

Ok. That helps a lot. Different situation then I felt with but the obsessive intrusive thoughts were the worst. In your situation there are a lot of variables to consider. If your main goal is to stop the intrusive obsessing over thinking about him I do believe that my suggestion would work. But understand one thing, regardless of what you decide to do, either way is going to create some difficulty and more than likely won’t provide what you really seek which is a healthy relationship that doesn’t feel like something is missing You’re in a relationship and in different states and saying you would like a friendship. I’m one of the most positive and open minded people around and so if there were any other way I thought could benefit you more, I would tell you. But I think we both in one way or another realize that this isn’t about friendship only and checking in once and while. I think you really like this guy and want him in your life. But I can say with confidence that if you remain in contact with each other at this time in your life, it’s probably gonna cause more pain than happiness. In this situation like all, the intrusive thoughts are temporary. They always pass right, but then they come back. Damn OCD. However, if you have zero contact, in time they will disappear completely. Now a different intrusive thought may takes it place but that’s another situation. It only takes time, and they will gradually lose any hold over you they have now. But each time you make contact with him, you will reset the time back to zero and have to start all over. The question here is, is it worth going through that cycle over and over when you can’t even be together? So imo, the best thing you can do for you both is ACCEPT it for what it is right now and move on with your life. Acceptance is a very powerful thing. It doesn’t mean you are happy with the situation or even like it. You are only accepting that this is the way it is. The more I fight it the worse it becomes. That is 100% true for OCD. Never fight it or argue with it or resist it. You only end up reinforcing it. This is probably not want you wanted to hear but if you look closely at the situation it is the only way out of dealing with the obsessive thoughts about him and wondering what to do. However, if you factor in the mystery of the spirit of the universe which is always working to create things to happen later in life, it’s very possible when you are both in better situations that it will guide you back into each other’s lives. I know this because my obsessive thinking about someone was my first love at 18. She cheated, we broke up, and damn OCD came back hard. Day and night she was all my mind would let me think of. One day I couldn’t take it anymore it was so difficult. I had enough it and felt like I was about to lose it. I literally pulled my car over on the road and sat in it and had a conversation with the SOB outloaud. I said you win. I give up and surrender. Go ahead and take full control because I can’t fight you anymore. And I really thought that’s what would happen. But it didn’t. It actually got quiter and less often. I couldn’t understand how but it was fading away. Why? Because I stopped resisting what life gave me and started accepting it regardless of what it was. Continue to do that and life will bring many good things your way. 15 years later we ran into ea h other again We started talking which led to a date which lead to one of the most exciting times of my life. It’s not uncommon to meet the perfect person but not actually be ready for them yet. But when the time is right and you least expect it, you are blessed with another opportunity. One in which you are both in a better place to make it work. Anyway, I hope in some way that helps you. If I can help any other way feel free to message again. I wish you the best of luck

Then that made it all worth it. You are very welcome

Yea. That the beast working there. The OCD Beast. ERP works the same on all subtypes. The focus is on changing how you respond to obsessions by deliberately exposing yourself to situations that create the same type of feelings the obsession does and then practice not engaging in compulsions to lower your distress but instead learning to sit with or be with the anxiety and uncomfortable feelings. As your anxiety rises from not doing compulsions there always comes a point where it changes and begins lowering when doing this over and over your body becomes habituated and makes it sand you begin to the DCH

I have had that before with my OCD and it was very difficult. Can you tell me a little about the person and your obsession details?

Is the main issue not being able to stop thinking about him? Always in your head, what if thoughts, feelings of doubt and uncertainty, fear of loss, or anything else that you just can’t let go of and continues to occupy your mind throughout the day?

Ok. Your still living in two different states correct? How do you think he views your relationship? If a friend asked him to describe it, what would he say Best guess. And what exactly was the reason you cut contact before and his reaction to it?

Ok. Last question I hope lol. Given you guys are in 2 different states and such, if you take everything into consideration, how do you invision having a healthy relationship together assuming that’s what you both want?

Thank you. I really don't even know what to say but you hit the nail on the head. That does help and it means a lot.

Good question. O you have a lot of intrusive thoughts over it, and if so, can describe them a little

How did this turn out for you sdawn?