Username: geochristina

Date posted: 2y ago

ROCD

Please does anyone else have the same thoughts and feelings as I do who suffer with ROCD (bearing in mind I love my boyfriend, he’s the kindest most loving boy and I love him with all my heart) we spend all day laughing with eachother! I’m constantly like: You don’t love him, this isn’t right with him, you’re horrible for stringing him along, break up with him, break up with him, did you ever actually love him, you’re probably a lesbian, you don’t find him attractive, there’s nothing between you two Then in other moments when I’m not feeling this I literally could cry with how amazing he is! 😢🙈

Relationship OCD

Username: Brendan =]Brendan =]

Date posted: 2y ago

Reassurance as in getting relief from distress by finding validation usually externally but sometimes internally. This could include asking others if they think your relationship is right, asking your partner if they really love you, checking your symptoms online to match with disorder diagnostic criteria, asking others if they think your relationship is as good as theirs, asking people if they think you’re really in love, taking online relationship quizzes, comparing your feelings when looking at your partner to when you look at someone else, etc. All of these may provide quick relief, but in the long term, they feed, reinforce, and prolong struggles. Reassurance doesn’t work because the “benefit” is temporary and you wind up needing more. I’m sure therapy can help you cut these rituals out through CBT, which is a fantastic treatment module. Working on self-esteem and self trust are really tough but are great therapy goals. Cutting out checking and scanning rituals is challenging but not giving into the disorders “voice” helps make it fade away. (Please note I’m not a therapist and I hope what I’m saying in terms of “advice” is acceptable on these forums. I currently have ROCD and am about to start treatment. With that said, I have been treated with CBT and ERP for Body Dysmorphic Disorder in the past. Please let me know if there’s anything wrong with this on here, and thanks for your patience with this newcomer. =D)

Username: geochristinageochristina

Date posted: 2y ago

@Brendan =D You sound like you know exactly what you’re talking about. Thank you so much, this has made me feel much better.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

I’ve experienced this pretty much exactly as you describe. I know reassurance seeking isn’t good but damn it feels good to have a diagnosis and know I’m not the only person on the planet with a mind that’s trying to sabotage me

Username: geochristinageochristina

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous Yes exactly! I was always checking Google to see what mental disorder I have, sometimes I thought it was bipolar, ocd, depression etc. It was getting that clarification of what I have was so important to me!

Username: geochristinageochristina

Date posted: 2y ago

@geochristina And yes literally! I speak to people all the time about it, it really does help and makes me feel less of an angel

Username: Brendan =]Brendan =]

Date posted: 2y ago

This sounds exactly like my struggles and also like textbook ROCD. These thoughts are the disorder and treatment will help you. I’m proud of you for reaching out and fighting for the relationship you’re in and am sorry you’re having a tough time. With that said, please be careful with reassurance seeking, simply because it provides temporary relief but over the long term, it reenforces the disorder. I struggled with horrible body image issues and my therapist said something that stuck with me, “reassurance needs to come from within”. I know in the beginning, it’s dang near impossible to live without it, but stay strong and keep a good thought. =]

Username: geochristinageochristina

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you! You mention reassurance, what do you mean by this? I’m always speaking out to people and wanting others to feel the same, I think I have such a low self esteem it’s like I don’t trust myself it’s horrible!

Username: Chlo_alexisChlo_alexis

Date posted: 2y ago

Relatable for me The way I cope it’s just I tell myself I do love him because if I didn’t I wouldn’t be going through therapy And trying to help myself It’s easier said than done because when it’s a feeling rather than a thought it can make us spiral But one thing I learned is feelings can be just as untrue as thoughts And that made me feel better knowing that I’m not going crazy and I infact love him despite this “feeling” that wants to creep in and be annoying

Username: geochristinageochristina

Date posted: 2y ago

@Chlo_alexis Yes exactly! Sometimes I think oh it’s only a thought, but then when I get a feeling I think oh no it must be true! X

Username: Chlo_alexisChlo_alexis

Date posted: 2y ago

@geochristina The worst part is when you don’t have anxiety and get that annoying thought it feels real And i just reassure myself it isn’t It’s like having an annoying person in the room whose being obnoxious but you just ignore them

Username: Sero82Sero82

Date posted: 2y ago

Yeah I do feel like that. Sometimes it's not just thoughts but feelings too. It's really hard when it's feelings because it just adds on to something that makes it feel so real.

Username: geochristinageochristina

Date posted: 2y ago

What are the thoughts and feelings you have? And they are horrible aren’t they 💔

Username: Sero82Sero82

Date posted: 2y ago

@geochristina Feelings of just not wanting to be there in the moment, of dissatisfaction, annoyance, etc. And thoughts are all negative about our relationship, my feelings, his feelings/looks, etc. And they suck.

Username: geochristinageochristina

Date posted: 2y ago

@Sero82 Yes I completely understand! It’s horrible isn’t it, some days are better than others 🥰

Username: brhtpurple

Date posted: 4y ago

I’ve had doubts my whole relationship with my boyfriend. Things like “you don’t find him attractive. You don’t think he’s funny. You’re lesbian because you don’t love him. You don’t love him at all. You think he’s annoying. You think his face looks weird. You want to be with other guys. He doesn’t make you happy.” But I always cry and get upset at the thought of losing him. Is that ocd, or something wrong with the relationship. It’s so hard to tell if this is Rocd or if this is one of those, “you never loved nor were interested in him in the first place.” Type things. I want to be interested and in love with him so bad, but I feel like all these thoughts get in the way. :( I don’t get that crazy “you love him so much,” feeing everyone talks about. Like yeah I know I feel for him and love him for who he is, but I don’t feel crazy deep in love :(

Relationship OCD

Username: oliviak2305

Date posted: 3y ago

Is this ROCD or not? I continuously keep having doubts about my feelings for my boyfriend. I’ve never had this before with my previous relationships and it’s really upsetting because this is the first boy that’s actually treating me like how i deserve. I feel like i’m in a bubble when it’s to do with him. I feel like i can’t emotionally get to him or connect to him. Whenever I think about him or see photos of him i get anxious and stuff. I know i want to be with him forever and i panic about it going wrong. I’m scared i’m going to end up giving in to the doubts and end it😞Whenever i think about the future it makes me anxious, it’s like i’m turning my emotions off. I keep crying after being intimate with him and i don’t know why, i’m panicking it’s because i’m losing feelings for him. I look at other couples and ask myself why am i not like them, why am i not in love like them. They make it look easy and it’s making me doubt everything. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months and it’s amazing when i don’t have these horrendous doubts. He’s so patient with me and he loves me and worships the ground that I walk on yet and I still have these doubts. They came when our relationship started getting serious. I keep asking my friends and mum for reassurance if i love him and it’s making me so so sad. I feel like if i love him i shouldn’t be having these feelings. He’s not done anything wrong and i feel so guilty for it. Is this OCD or me? Plz help :(

Relationship OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Anyone relate (ROCD)

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is an absolute angel. All throughout the relationship I would have nightmares and intrusive thoughts “what if he leaves/cheats”. And he would reassure me and treat me like the world revolves around me. Lately I’m realizing this was actually ocd and not anxiety as I had previously thought. I would get paranoid if he didn’t check his messages for a couple hours, I’d get anxious if I saw an ambulance heading toward his street while I was driving, I would ask for reassurance that he loved me constantly. Bear in mind, I have no reason to have these fears. My boyfriend is my best friend and has supported me through thick and thin and he’s amazing. One time a couple months ago I was being a bit snappy with him one night and I had the thought “only people who don’t like their partners are snappy with them” and it just stuck. Now I struggle with intrusive thoughts about my own feelings, do I love him, do I miss him enough, is my relationship going to end because this couple on social media broke up. I could deal with the thoughts about his feelings because he is so so good about making me feel loved but now I’m stuck in this constant guilt loop where I question my relationship for no reason then get anxious and feel guilty for even thinking that way because I think I’m manifesting it. Was wondering if anybody else in a healthy long term relationship has had this happen to them and how you talk yourself down :(

Relationship OCD

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