TikToks about comphet are so triggering

@Mke I feel the same way! It felt that way for me. It’s like sooo all the times I was clearly attracted to men and had feelings for them (even my boyfriend) were apparently fake and just comphet from what TikTok says. It’s so confusing because if I were to say that I think a woman is beautiful then TikTok says that that is what true attraction is and I’m just suppressing it so I am not able to see my true desires. It’s just like why does my attraction to men have to be fake? TikTok I’m general can be very confusing and especially when people are always talking about the masterdoc. It’s so vague and there are a lot of things I was once triggered by that I now am like wait what? Like “Only/mostly being into guys who are gender nonconforming or feminine in some way” and then “Alternatively, the guys I like are always a hyper masculine man’s man”. So either way that makes someone a lesbian? I know the doc has done a lot of great things for a lot of women. It’s just that many people(lesbians, bisexual women straight women even gay men) can agree with points for many different reasons.

@Mememeitsme Yeah, I can see why TikTok is triggering for everyone! I don't actually have TikTok. Nobody can tell you what your sexuality is, especially using such vague statements like that. It sounds like some of them are getting a bit carried away with it. Like I said, it's too bad, because they're putting themselves in the comphet box. And I'm sure if any of them ended up with a boyfriend, you won't see those TikToks. Like you said, I think this concept has helped many people, but as with anything, people can get carried away. Men and women are beautiful human beings in their own ways. We absolutely can acknowledge beauty without it meaning anything more than just that. Attraction is more than just physical--it's very shallow (in my opinion) to put so much emphasis on looks. I mean looks are certainly a part of attraction, but not everything. On top of finding someone attractive, you typically feel drawn to them for other reasons you can't always explain. They make you feel good, you bond, you laugh, you experience intimacy in all kinds of ways, etc etc. I don't want to get too carried away talking about this because I know it's just giving ocd more power, and that's not the goal. I think we have to accept that this exists, and while it's eye opening and helpful for some, it doesn't apply to everyone (even when people try to tell you it does.) Imagine if that doc didn't exist--how would you feel about your attraction to men? If you've always felt good about it, happy and comfortable, then I'd say that's your truth. We have to accept the uncertainty around certain triggers related to comphet and anything on that doc we might relate to. At the end of the day, you are the one whe decides who you are. Once ocd around this topic is in the rear view, we'll see and feel that confidence. Face the anxiety, accept the uncertainty, and allow yourself to have a different opinion than people on the internet. 😉❤️

@Mememeitsme Also, by definition, liking any guy wouldn't make you a lesbian. If these girls felt attracted to these guys, feminine or hyper masculine, again, by definition, they wouldn't be lesbian. I don't think I'm missing anything not being on TikTok. 🙃

@Mke Definitely agree! I’ve def been less triggered by the concept and the thoughts that come along with them by accepting the uncertainty. I’m able to read

@Mememeitsme Good!! And it sounds like you're able to view it all more objectively and feel confident in having a different opinion. That's awesome--keep it up!

@Mke You are amazing Wish we were friends

@Hopingforacure We are friends! We've all got eachother's back here. :)

@Mke @mke thank you for this!!

@cc97 You're welcome! We're allowed to have our own opinions. I imagine many people on tiktok are just doing and saying what other people are. Some are legit, I'm sure. But let's be real--people like to fit in. Just saying. 🤷‍♀️🥴

@Mke Perfect but can we also be friends outside here so maybe you can help me with my problem?

@Hopingforacure I actually don't have any social media, so on here is really the only way I communicate with people. Besides, I often think that when people take communication off the app, it turns into reassurance seeking and compulsive communication. Happy to offer some insight and encouragement here on the app though. I know it's so hard. But you'll get past this, I promise.

@Mke Thanks

@Mke I’m 💯 boy crazy straight Loving men… Recently I came a cross a picture of a transgender (female to male) and it was on fb Of course the idiot that I am I looked through the pictures I thought I was attracted to her and her pictures but then I laughed at my attraction knowing well I’m super straight and these are nonsense no need to worry One of this persons pictures is still in my head making me think and believe that I’m. Attracted to this person Now I’m panicking . I can’t function . I just want my old self back

@Hopingforacure I mean it--have faith in treatment. Let thoughts come and go, and most importantly, remember that people's opinions are just that, opinions. Only you can say who you are based on all the experiences you've had. Nobody else. Even if you relate to bisexual or gay women, that doesn't mean you are. Sometimes the things we relate to say more about our personalities than who we want to sleep with or love. You've got this!

@Mke Thanks m

@Mke Just let the thoughts come abs go?

@Hopingforacure I hear you. This sounds like it was a huge spike for you, and you're struggling with the anxiety and fear it brought you, not so much the thoughts. First, allow your body to feel these things. They won't hurt you. They just need to be processed. Second, maybe you felt a fleeting moment of attraction, maybe not. It's ok to let that be unanswered. Life can go on. Finding someone attractive is different than being attracted to someone. You seem confident in who you are and who you're attracted to. So move forward with that knowledge (even if you don't feel confident), and let go of the need for certainty. Eventually this will pass and you'll remember this years from now and be like oh wow, that was tough, but I'm so glad I got past it. You might even forget some of the thoughts that triggered you. Keep at it!

@Mke God bless you thanks

@Mke When you know it’s all OCD but can’t get rid of it 6th day on new dose . Trying to get through the days Thanks for being there

@Hopingforacure Hey! You're right. It is ocd. And even if there is the tiniest sliver of truth or a genuine fleeting moment of attraction or admiration or physical response (that all humans of all orientations most likely experience) our ocd brains will blow it out of proportion and turn it into something that sticks. If we didn't have ocd, you probably would have already forgotten about that moment and that picture. Keep at it. This is not something that will last forever.

@Mke I imagine this person everywhere I have the hottest guy asking out and this person comes to my head I’m tired! I want my old life back I used to get excited about going out on dates, now I have intrusive thoughts about this person

@Mke Thanks ! You ate the greatest ! Just want to wake up one morning and not have this picture of this person that leads to unwanted imagination to be gone and I can go back to the man crazy , man loving person I was without OCD

@Mke How are you?

@Anonymous Going through the sane thing