- Date posted
- 2y
- Date posted
- 2y
Awe I'm really sorry this is happening to you :( How did you come to the conclusion that you thought you are a boy though?
- Date posted
- 2y
@d_p i didn’t really i just don’t feel like a girl anymore I don’t want to be a boy though it’s not something I’m drawn to and never have been but I just don’t feel like myself anymore and I keep seeing angel numbers too every time I have these thoughts and I guess it’s just gotten to the point that I might’ve just convinced myself? Idk I’m just confused about everything and can’t tell if I’m in denial or not and that it’s ocd Idk how to explain it, everything just felt like it switched
- Date posted
- 2y
@khm Omg I freak out over angel numbers too! I try not to pay attention to them though because I know it worsens things. Hmm idk what you would define as a girl. But a simple explanation I would say is that girls will always show up in different shapes/personalities and sizes like there is no one DEFINED girl. If you don't fit a specific type of "girl" that doesn't make you any less of one either :)
- Date posted
- 2y
Yeah the first time I had an intrusive thought about TOCD I saw the angel number 222 and I’ve been seeing them everywhere since or just any sequence of repeating numbers really and it just feels like the universe is telling me I’m supposed to be this way or something when I don’t want to or that’s not how I identified it wasn’t something I related to or felt like was what was me if that makes sense and I totally get that and I try to remind myself of that but it just stinks because it feels like my perception has been morphed and that everything I believe of myself to be true was some sort of lie and I’ve never felt like I was in the wrong body more wished to change anything about myself other than my fitness and I’ve never felt gender envy or anything and so it’s all so confusing feeling and thinking these things but it just doesn’t help when I feel like I can’t find myself anymore or that I don’t know who I am anymore and then also having no clue how to change my perception of myself and now I get anxious about being in a relationship with a guy or about being a girl which sucks because I had gotten to a point where I felt so comfortable and confident in my gender identity and just felt really good about myself and now it just feels like it’s gone (sorry this was so long!)
- Date posted
- 2y
Is okay! I RELATE EXTREMELY to whether my thoughts are some universal sign or if they have some kind of intuition. But I also remember wishing on 11:11 one time and nothing of what I wished for happened😭 So maybe that can help! I know what's triggering me now more recently is like any childhood experiences I've had or the types of social groups I was in. I think that idk if you have a mental image of what a girl is supposed to be like but like 🤔 I just know there's a lot of fluidity to being one like idk if you want be non-binary like androgynous idk if that's triggering but like I just hope that for you like you can still be a girl regardless of how you act and what you wear :)
- Date posted
- 2y
@d_p That makes me feel so much better!!! It’s been so hard finding someone with ocd and someone who also kind of keeps an eye on that stuff or at least has and I have too like I’ve tried manifesting or something I guess and it’s just never worked not saying that it doesn’t exist because I’m sure for some people that stuff is a great tool and outlet for them but it just doesn’t seem to be a lifestyle that necessarily suits me anymore I guess and so it’s been hard trying to I guess let that go too cause I feel like I can’t live without them in a way and it could totally be my ocd just acting on compulsions because when I’m not seeing them I start getting anxious and thinking that what I’m thinking or doing or whatever is wrong and not me or something like that or like not meant for me if that makes sense and i have gone through that phase I guess you could say where I tried dressing more androgynous and it just wasn’t for me I felt like, like I just didn’t feel good in how I was presenting myself or confident and I really love my pronouns I haven’t wanted to change them or felt like I needed to really I’ve loved being referred to as a woman and treated as such it’s just crazy how my ocd has seemed to switch everything like I just don’t even feel happy most of the time anymore and it’s the worst and I felt like I was getting to a point where I was so happy and content with my life and just ready to try and work on myself and my health and do better
- Date posted
- 2y
@khm Again sorry it’s so long!!!!
- Date posted
- 2y
@khm Don't worry Khm I'm here to respond yeah! I also think like it's better to believe in coincidences than manifestations because WE CAN think of something and IT COULD happen but emphasis on "COULD" we usually connect dots with events that happen it doesn't mean that it happen from that exact thought. Or we sometimes can be really good observers and that can give us an accurate response. BUT EEEEEEEEE idk if any of it sounds triggering 😅 but rest assured that if something happens it's either coincidence or just observations. Also know that it's okay to have some days where you don't feel like yourself eventually it'll go all on its own. You don't have to be one specific ideal of a woman because we're all different as women
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
This is so extremely difficult, i’ve never experienced having thoughts of being a different gender. i’ve always been comfortable being a girl. i’ve always been a girly girl. this all started a couple months ago and it’s increasingly getting worse. i’ve had times where i didn’t like my body but i always thought i could just go to the gym and fix it, never did i think i wanted to be a man. ever since these thoughts started i hate looking at myself in the mirror, i hate looking at my body, i’m aware of my breasts all day everyday, i can’t look at pictures/ videos of myself. from the moment i wake up to the second i go to sleep i have these thoughts. i’m in a panic EVERYDAY. i don’t want to be trans but my thoughts are convincing me i do. i’ve never bat an eye when someone calls me a girl but now it’s like i’m aware of it which i hate. i hate that i’m having these thoughts & it’s convincing me that i want them & that i have to just come out and change. i want to be able to go back to being comfortable as a girl. this has left me feeling so hopeless and depressed, i can’t help but cry every day. has anyone else felt like their whole world was turned upside down?
- Date posted
- 16w
I cant do anything anymore without my brain dregdging up proof from my past that I was actually trans and didn't know it, and it all seems so plausible. like I said in my last post its unearthing memories that I didn't even know I have. ik this is just ocd tricking me but I feel like I need to review every moment thoroughly bc I have questioned my gender in the past but always concluded that'd I'd happier as a girl (which is true). everything feels so real and it feels like I am just super in denial. also, how do I tell people about this? I made the mistake of confessing to a teacher on a note and only a couple friends of mine understand the thoughts I get, but I don't tell them everything. however its very hard for me to do basic responsibilities like school work and I always end up overwhelmed, so I'm thinking I may need accomdations. I need to get in touch with my counselor but i'm unsure how to explain all of this to her, being that I don't have a diagnosis....also I feel like I can't talk about this with the majority of my friends because gender ocd is rare to have (increasing my doubts) and, at least school-wise, i'm in very accepting environment for lgbtq and I'm afraid they're just gonna tell me to accept myself. I'm scared of doing erp for this because what if I like it (also cant afford therapy). ive also felt very apprehensive around some of my trans friends and classmates because my brain is going crazy asking "what if you're like them?" and I feel so bad and transphobic for these thoughts. i'm genuinely so tired. one of my closest friends died last year, but my father pointed out that my recent mood has been even worse than it was during that time. i tend to bottle up my emotions a lot, so everyone's just telling me to "let it go" and tell people, but if I do that I feel like i'll end up confessing. i'm so tired and lost.
- Date posted
- 11w
just crying cause i feel like im never going to recover and just have to be lesbian, even tho i love my boyfriend so much. thoughts don’t even give me anxiety anymore idk what to do, im just so done, feel like it’s all real and that i want it(when i dont). any tips or anything, idk how to keep going
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