scared for relationships

i have longed for a romantic relationship for a long time, but im so scared. i’ve never been in a relationship, and i never know what “it’s supposed to feel like” when you like someone. i’m also just scared about the person being manipulative or rude. but im also scared that im going to be controlling even though i really don’t want to be. i know this is probably my ocd talking, and it’s definitely something i need to work through. thank you for listening <3

Relationship OCD

Username: Chlo_alexisChlo_alexis

Date posted: 2y ago

I am in my first relationship dealing with rocd I won’t lie it hasn’t been easy But tips i can give you is When you get in a relationship you go through the infatuation stage and due to me having anxiety and depression alongside ocd When that stage ended my body went into a shock with intrusive feelings The media only puts out hollywood love and not different stages of love

Username: D:)D:)

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

exactly !!! that is so true & thank you for sharing tips i really appreciate it. but exactly what you said about your experiences, im worried that my intrusive thoughts are going to be super strong & i don’t necessarily know how to tell my partner what i go through, but thank you again<3

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

A therapist would be helpful for you to recognize thinking errors and core fears, things like that. And that takes time. But some general advice is to definitely work on your thinking patterns. It’s not easy or fast, and you should have some support. Your brain is living through a “what-if” filter that has become your habit because of how you have learned to live. Sometimes its from how you grew up, a trauma, or a daily environmental thing you have dealt with for a while. When you are able to find the root of your what-if thinking habit, you will start to have more positivity. And you will be able to better appreciate life everyday.

Username: D:)D:)

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

thank you so much i really appreciate it. that’s something i will definitely keep in mind when going to therapy. i go to a traditional therapist, but i haven’t started ERP yet, but im definitely looking into it because i think it’ll be beneficial. i think because of my ocd i have pushed so many people away because of the what-if mindset

Username: Carly0022Carly0022

Date posted: 2y ago

Omg I feel the exact same way. I just feel like I don’t know how to even be a girlfriend like how do I do that? And because I had a fear of sex for a long time when I was younger that sort of play a role in my rocd and i just feel like il end up being to scared and worried of being intimate with someone that il end up pushing them away and never being in a relationship. I also get scared that I won’t be able to find someone I’m attracted and that il end up being along forever

Username: D:)D:)

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@Carly0022 i feel that exact same way you’re not alone!! relationships scare me so so much & i feel the same way about finding someone & sex/intimacy. im so afraid i will be alone, but i also have so idea how to actually be a girlfriend. i always have a fear of hurting the person im talking to & i feel like i ultimately always end up push them away because i “never know how i feel” I literally always questions things. i think I have this idea of what my partner is supposed to look like or be interested in that if it doesn’t match that, i automatically start questioning everything. ugh sorry for my rant haha but i hope everything works out for you!! your person will find you🤍🤍

Username: Carly0022Carly0022

Date posted: 2y ago

@D:) No I totally under haha rant it out! I’m the same sex scares me intimacy scares me I can’t even picture being in a relationship without feeling physically sick from my anxiety because of my fear of it but deep down I do want a relationship I just wish I didn’t have a fear of it! I think what I’m gonna do and maybe you should too is just try accept uncertainty. We can’t predict the future so no point in worrying about it🤷🏻‍♀️our brains change and development every year and we always have different mindsets so as we grow and mature our mindsets might change and then maybe we will be able to get over the fear by growing as a person? I’m not sure tbh but we just need to stay positive and remember what ever happens happens and there’s nothing our over thinking is gonna do to change uncertainty! Hope you get over this 💞

Username: D:)D:)

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@Carly0022 you are so right it’s probably best to try and accept the uncertainty because thinking about it now isn’t really going to do us any good, but ocd can make that hard (which really sucks). im just hoping we find our person & they accept us for the us because it can be hard to feel secure & safe in a relationship when questioning and doubt is always there. thank you for talking & i hope everything works out for you<3

Username: Carly0022Carly0022

Date posted: 2y ago

@D:) Totally agree and thank you too x

Username: hyzenthlay

Date posted: 5y ago

Feels a little weird to talk about this here, but here goes. I'm 22 and I've never been in a relationship and I feel a lot of pressure to just get into one already, but i'm afraid to bc i don't think anyone would want me since i have ocd and the stigma against mental illness is so freaking terrible. I do catch feelings more often than I'd like to admit, but i usually let any oppurtunity to date someone slip by bc i feel like a nonentity and like they wouldn't /really/ be interested in me if they found out i have ocd.

Username: aurokoi

Date posted: 4y ago

Does anyone else who’s 20+ and never seriously dated before afraid that this messed up your love life forever? Because I used to look forward to getting to know a guy romantically one day and feeling comfortable enough to let them be around me in that way and now I’m just afraid that if I ever get into a relationship I’m not going to like it and it’s just gonna confirm everything I’m afraid of :/

Username: hannahflorence

Date posted: 3y ago

Me and my partner have been going out for a couple of montjs now, and there hasn't really been much physical contact, the odd brush hear and there. On our last date we went out and after a while he held my hand and later on he asked my permission to hug me. I said yes but I immediately felt scared and had an anxiety attack. I don't know whats wrong with me, when my friends and family hold my hand, touch me and hug me I feel fine but when he touches me I get so scared and freeze up. It might be because its my first proper relationship and these are my firsts (I'm 15 by the way). This is then triggering my soocd and telling me because I don't like being touched, I'm gay and the touched my girl best friend give me are more comfortable because I'm secretly gay. I like this guy a lot, and I am sure I'm not gay but my ocd is giving me so much rubbish for it. From what I can tell this isn't normal. I should feel comfy right? I'm sure with more touches and time I'd get more comfy. But I just wanted to let that out cuz it's been brewing inside of me for a while.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

scared for relationships

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community