religious ocd maybe

i was raised christian, and i always followed without any doubt until i was around 13 or 14, which was when my anxiety and mental health issues began to get bad. it was around this time when i was literally beginning to lose touch with reality (derealisation) that i began really distant with my religion, and it just never really repaired. i have a (fairly) normal perception on reality now, with bouts of depersonalisation and derealisatuon coming every now and again, but i now instead struggle immensely with depression, anxiety, possible ocd, loneliness and just a general feeling of stress, emptiness and suicidal tendencies. I always felt neglected by God and as much as i try and pray and reach out i just don’t seem to get a response. i’m worried and scared because i’m kind of afraid of God, not just in christianity, but in all abrahamic religions. I fear that because i’m not close with God i’m going to be banished to hell. I also try and heal myself using various methods like healing frequencies and subliminals (whether they work is another debate, but they’re really my only option) because i don’t tend to feel listened to or wanted when i pray, but im scared that those are sins too and that i’ll be banished. im also scared that even if i do figure things out at some point, how do I know if im following the right religion? there’s so many out there. I worry that i have committed the unforgivable sin, and i also feel really guilty about how restricted and afraid christianity makes me feel. i feel like i’m trying to follow the religion out of fear, instead of love, and that makes me feel so guilty. A lot of the time, i experience random moments of insane luck, which makes me feel blessed by God, but at the same i still struggle to actually feel his presence and i doubt if he’s really there. I don’t think I actually like being a christian to be honest, i would rather pray and have a genuine connection filled with love and understanding with God/a higher power without all the rules, fear mongering, and other factors like the devil, sin, original sin etc. i even feel anxious just saying that

Existential OCD

Bex.

Date posted: 3y

God made you and knew everything you would ever do or think and yet sent Jesus to die for you anyway. Being a Christian isn't about getting it right. It's about a relationship with the maker of all things. Which is incredible. I used to have allot of OCD surrounding the unpardonable sin. But the truth is that fear is a liar. And the devil wants you to feel far from God. Like in Harry potter when Harry felt alone Luna says to him that actually that's how Voldemort wants him to feel. If you feel alone you're less difficult of a target. And hey who terrifies the devil. God; so if you're choosing God your never alone X. OCD is painful and terrifying I pray that the grace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind always I'm Jesus holy name amen. May God bless you and give you the strength to keep going little soldier!!!

Bex.

Date posted: 3y

Isiah 41. 13 I am the Lord your God Who takes hold of your right hand And says to you: Do not fear, I will be with you!

Bex.

Date posted: 3y

https://nocd.page.link/yLEpvuGriEtKEkWF7 Here's something that helps me ☺️ XX

sanshine

Date posted: 14w

Religious OCD

I used to have religious OCD. Still kinda do. Accidentally thought something bad about God once, panicked thought something bad about the Holy Spirit. Fell into doom. This was recently after recomitting myself to Christ. Since then I pretty much gave up. Unfortunately, it also led to me compromising my morals many times because I figured I was going to hell anyway. I wish I knew what OCD was then. I think it would have saved me a lot of pain. I no longer have a relationship with God, and fear I never will again.

Cammy123

Date posted: 5w

Religious OCD

So about 2 years ago I gave my life to Jesus. I've always been a "Christian" but never truly lived liked one. Honestly never truly felt love for them until 2 years ago. It was the best couple months of my life!!! I felt so happy and loved and unstoppable! I thought this fire for God & Jesus will never burn out. One day I had a thought about is God real? It bothered me so bad and I went into a massive spiral. Doubting everything. My faith. if I was good enough. Am I really saved? Do I have enough faith? Is my doubt real? Is it too much? Have these blasphemous made God not want me anymore? Or Jesus? :( But I knew I was and that they were real! I know I've heard them. Then I started having horrible blasphemous thoughts but then it would go back to doubting thoughts then back to the blasphemous ones. I hated the thoughts and doubts. The thoughts are so mean towards God, Jesus & HS. It’s anywhere from evil thoughts to cussing thoughts to rejection thoughts/denying. Demonic thoughts. Literally anything bad you could think of! Even thoughts of if I really love them or wanna follow them. I learned about OCD from what I've looked up but I've been dealing with this for about 2 years now. It's hard. I doubt if it’s OCD. Definitely feel like I'm trapped or my faith isn't the same. Which makes me sad because I want my faith! I feel like I've gotten lazy and honestly that I don't deserve them or am "too far gone" from them. I feel like idk how to be a Christian or how to have faith or just exist tbh. I wanna love God & Jesus! I want faith! I just feel kinda stuck. Has anyone gone through this or has advice or tips?

Religion & Spirituality OCD

berrybrynn

Date posted: 15d

I am a Christian and I went through religious OCD and I felt like I blasphemy the Holy Spirit

so my dad is Jewish and my mom is Christian. I used to go to Hebrew school when I was younger, but recently I started going to church and becoming a Christian and turning to Jesus and when I recently got diagnosed with OCD a couple months ago I had really really bad religious OCD. I had very disrespectful thoughts about Jesusand God, but mainly Jesus. and I had very disturbing thoughts about Jesus that made me avoid a lot of things, but I know that’s making the OCD worse. I’m doing erp currently my religious OCD has honestly gone away. I’ve dealt with it. I am managing it but ever since I’ve had religious OCD and had disturbing and disrespectful thoughts about God in Jesus mainly Jesus, I’ve felt a awkward distance between me, God and Jesus and it just feels like I’m going to hell and they don’t love me anymore and I haven’t felt the same presence from God ever since I’ve had religious OCD and I’ve had some situations that I felt like I blasphemy the Holy Spirit and I committed blasphemy and I just feel like God really doesn’t love me anymore and I’m done for i’ve kind of been numb to it so it’s not really bothering me, but I want a better relationship with God and Jesus it just feels like they don’t love me anymore. Has anyone else gone through this? and I’ve had situations where I felt like I was very disrespectful and mocked God and Jesus, but mainly Jesus. And i freaked out for days didn’t feel like myself repented multiple times pretty sure this is just religious OCD but seriously I have not felt the same with my relationship with God and Jesus. OCD has really really affected my life and it sucks. I’m going through Harm OCD right now. So religious OCD has kinda gone away but I just want a better relationship with God and Jesus sorry this text is so long. Has anyone else gone through this?

Religion & Spirituality OCD

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religious ocd maybe

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