Does anyone find (believe) their OCD is as bad as it is because of the situation they’re in? There is a lot of talk on here that OCD is a chemical imbalance and that exposure therapy works. I’ve had this over ten years and can say with absolute certainty that exposure therapy has NEVER worked for me. It makes it worse. This whole idea of “exposure therapy lets you reach a level of anxiety and realize you’ll be fine” is very toxic. I have done this. Had a massive panic attack. Collapsed. And ambulance had to be called. My living situation is horrible and makes my OCD spiral. And because of the way the world is right now moving isn’t an option. Which has made my depression spiral. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. All I do every day, every moment, I’m not at work, is lay in bed and cry.

I had to cancel my therapy because it was no longer available with my insurance. And I just kind of feel hopeless with OCD. Even when I was doing therapy, I think my OCD started getting too complicated for my therapist and she didn’t even know what to do. My fears are so complex it’s crazy. So my big fear is my OCD being bad and being super depressed again like I was a few months ago in high school. I attended a public highschool for a semester and started the worst flare up I’ve ever had. I was harshly bullied for no reason whatsoever, and not accepted by anyone. I am an athletic kid who usually keeps to himself so I didn’t understand why people targeted me, especially when I wanted nothing to do with them. From August to now ( March) I CANNOT grasp hold of my OCD. I am very hard on myself about it. Going into dangers anytime I see one so I can expose myself. But constantly obsessing about if I’m doing enough for my OCD. And comparing myself to how I use to be, before the flare ups. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep I’m obsessing about my OCD and if it’s bad and comparing. Another HUGE fear of mine is being treated differently because I have OCD. So being bullied for so long I always assumed it was because I was shy and didn’t want to stand up for myself - due to my OCD- so I blamed myself for everything that continued to happen, . from people bullying me in the past . The people at that highschool were downright crazy. Even the teachers and coaches had major issues and I’m so glad to be out of there, but I still obsess the same everyday and hold so much resentment for that school and when I try to let it go, I just feel more passive pain and obsess even more about it weather my ocd is okay or not. I feel mentally sick. Please someone give me some advice for my fears, because I feel like I’m doing everything in my power to expose myself to everything but nothings working.

sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔

I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…