The more I try to do exposures for my HOCD the more aroused I get and the less fear I feel. Then I walk away depressed and ruminating about what that means. Anyone dealt with this? Anyone have good ERP for this unwanted arousal? I need help.
Hey there. Are you sure you're doing exposures with response prevention? It sounds like you're still very much analyzing and ruminating about thoughts/sensations. And are you sure you're not compulsively exposing yourself? I tried doing exposures with this theme on my own when it started, and it majorly backfired. I was engaging in compulsions so bad without realizing it. What ultimately helped me was only focusing on response prevention and not avoiding any triggers. I don't go out of my way to expose myself. And are you checking or exposing yourself to sexual content/porn? Because if so, I'd say you're almost asking to be triggered because it's likely that you'll feel arousal. The goal there would be to not ruminate about what that arousal means. But if even a blip of arousal is bothering you, maybe just take a break from those types of exposures. Focus on response prevention--no more engaging with anything to do with this topic and just focus on other areas of your life right now. Maybe give that a try for now. 🤷♀️ you can do it!
My goal with my ERP is to have zero response. I've been able to get my anxiety down to almost nothing but I am still having the response of sexual arousal, which troubles or depresses me but causes no anxiety. This is unwanted, obviously, but also unstoppable. I do ERP in limited time sections, but usually find it causes hours and hours of unwanted sexual intrusive thoughts/dreams/arousal. I would love to stop engaging and move on to other areas of my life. When I try to stop engaging with that aspect of life, it gets much much worse and I can't seem to escape intrusive thoughts.
@Scooterino If that's your goal, then I'm afraid you'll stay stuck. Arousal doesn't tell you anything other than you're being exposed to sexual stimuli. If it's unwanted or uncomfortable, then that's that, you can move on from it. You have agency here. You can do whatever you want. You can move forward from this even thought it feels unresolved. And intrusive thoughts, feelings, etc are going to be there. That's the human experience. You're only problem is how you're responding. The bigger a deal you make these responses, the bigger this will seem in your mine. I promise you can move forward and just leave this be, as is, unresolved. You'll feel confident again. I promise. ❤️
@Mke I appreciate your encouragement, I really do. Unfortunately, I have dealt with HOCD for 15 years. Each year it gets worse, and the more therapy I do (with and without the aid of OCD therapists) does nothing. Accepting arousal is something I can do and have done. I allowed it to change my perspective on my own identity even, and gave myself the freedom to explore the source of test intrusive thoughts without anxiety, which in the long run made things much worse. Again, I really do appreciate the encouragement. I wish it worked the way you say, for me at least it does not seem to work that way.
@Scooterino I am now only aroused by sexual stimuli I don't like, and not aroused by any sexual stimuli I do like. That's difficult to ignore, and not something that is easy to walk away from. It has been left unresolved for most of my life, and I continue to meditate on the idea that none of it means anything, and that it can remain unresolved. But when it gets worse each day, it's not something I can walk away from. It's all consuming whether I want it to be or not. Again, sorry, I don't mean to be harshing on your encouragement. You seem to have a good handle on your own mind and the techniques that work, and your words were said with a lot of kindness. ❤️ I just feel like I've tried everything, including things you've brought up, and I'm exhausted.
I already wrote about this and you really helped me, but now I wondered?! During the erp, I look at a picture of that person with some grimaces that the brain sexualizes, otherwise I have incest ocd! The person is of my gender, I'm not gay otherwise. And then, based on those facial expressions, the brain creates sexual images in my head, which I often feel as sexual and mental arousel. It is enough to see the picture or hear the voice of that person! Based on the pictures it gives me the idea of sexually touching myself on it and climaxing while watching. I feel an urge (I tried something like that a few times ago and now I'm afraid of it), and then the exercise is over, but I stay until I get the answer I want and the feelings that would calm me down, but that happens less and less... Have you had any experience, and is it a compulsion? how can I stay after exercise with that feeling of reality.. Thank you in advance❤️
Hey everyone, just wanted to post an honest update on where I’m at in my HOCD recovery. Right now, I'm stuck in what feels like a 24/7 spike — nonstop thoughts, intrusive sensations, identity doubts, and hyperfocus. The worst part? It feels real. Like I’ve “lost,” like I’ve accepted it, like I am gay. The thoughts don't feel like anxiety anymore — they feel like truth. I’ve been trying to do ERP, but the spike has been so constant I don’t even have to “do exposures” — the thoughts, feelings, and sensations are just there all day long. It’s like living inside an exposure. And it’s exhausting. BUT — here’s what I’ve been doing (and what I’m sticking to now): I say once: “These thoughts and feelings are welcome to stay for as long as they want.” I let the doubt, the feelings, the hyperfocus exist. I don’t check, test, or analyze — even when it screams at me. I live my life anyway — folding clothes, watching TV, eating, walking — with the storm in my head. Even when it feels 100% real. Even when I’m fully focused on it. I’ve stopped trying to feel better. I’m letting it all burn — and just not fixing it. It doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like progress.
One problem - Various themes This is my first post. I had a relapse a few months ago. Life was amazing and then boom, I got triggered by something and started spiralling about my sexuality (having finally been at peace for two years, entered a healthy new relationship and come out of the closet as an older women). How do you, when you're not triggered practice ERP? I'm able to try and accept the thoughts every time I see a man. What should I be doing when I don't encounter these triggers. I was to say as well that I also am starting to get real event OCD about some of the sexual things I did in the past when I was married and in an unhealthy toxic relationship with my ex husband. I am shamed and disgusted and I'm working on it but there's a certain subsection of the LGBTQ community that trigger these thoughts, groinals and thing for me... I feel like I'm beginning to realise I need to maybe be a little more active in my recovery instead of waiting for triggers... But I don't know how
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