Can someone please help me? My OCD is telling me that bc I acted on harmless intrusive thoughts in the past (nothing about actual harm, just weird stuff) I am more likely to act on the harm thoughts I have today and that I eventually will, just to get the thought out of my head, and it’s making me panic… I feel like I truly am the special one bc of this! This is hell!
Omg. You just explained EXACTLY what I’m going through.
I hate that for you and hope you’re okay! This is the most horrible feeling in the world😢
I hate that I acted on those harmless intrusive thoughts before, if i hadn’t i think i would be at least 1% calmer today…
@Threethirdsocdsufferer Sometimes I think “well I couldn’t control my eating binges so maybe this means I can’t control anything else.” Idk if that makes sense.
@Catlove9 It makes total sense! And even if i know the difference between these thoughts (the harmless ones were stuff i didnt know the outcome of, and with harm OCD i know the outcome more than well) they STILL scare me bc what if i suddenly make a decision to kill my cats against my will? I just wanna disappear, its too much…
@Threethirdsocdsufferer I know. I totally get it. I have cats too and my ocd grips on to them. I get the most disturbing thoughts. I love my cats more than anything. But I get thoughts to hurt them all the time. Then it makes me feel like I don’t even like them. Which hurts more.
@Catlove9 Same here, its telling me i hate cats and prefer dogs when i don’t… i just wish this would go away
@Threethirdsocdsufferer I know exactly what you mean. I was having a few good days and now I feel I’m back to square one. I just have this feeling that I’m now this horrendous monster who wants these thoughts. I think that’s the hardest part. Feeling like you want them. I hate it.
@Catlove9 This theme is also a recycled theme, i had it before and got over it but it’s like it’s stronger this time around☹️
Also the OCD is giving me massive false feelings that I am ”suppressing” a genuine urge to cause harm, and that if I don’t act on the thoughts I will ”suppress” it for the rest of my life, suffering, like I’m closeted or something, and it feels so real and it terrifies me beyond belief!😢
I’m so scared that the only way to get rid of the thought is to act on it, and I don’t want that to be true, I just want a normal life! 😢
i feel exactly the same, it’s a living hell. the only relief for me is to actually do something i enjoy, even just watching a movie at home, the thought is still there but i don’t feel like freaking out. we don’t deserve this :(
Sending strength to you, fellow sufferer! It truly is awful
I just sometimes can’t even explain how I’m feeling sometimes.
Me neither, it’s just overall bad…
@Threethirdsocdsufferer Yah. And I get to this point where I get exhausted, so it feels like I don’t care. But because of that, it then feels like I’ve accepted I’m going to do these things and the anxiety comes on full-force. But the thought of it all makes me feel disgusting.
@Catlove9 Exactly the same here… i’m so exhausted, just been in bed all day, crippling anxiety…
@Threethirdsocdsufferer I’m so sorry. I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes all I wanna do is sleep to make it go away.
@Catlove9 Me too😢
@Threethirdsocdsufferer I hate feeling like I’m on the edge of acting on my thought. Especially when I’m not scared. The feeling it creates is so horrible.
@Catlove9 Yes i have never lived through mental agony like this before…😣
@Threethirdsocdsufferer Me either. I though by 34 it would be over but it’s only gotten worse.
i’m having a full on panic attack, i never used to be like this, what tf is happening to me, why am i like this, i’m so convinced i’m a horrible person and i deserve to be shut out forever because of my thoughts, i’m tired of struggling with harm ocd, i’m scared that because i have mental health issues i’m gonna end up ki!!ing someone someday or end up on the news, when i was at work earlier i kept thinking “how easy would it be to ki!! someone and get away with it” someone help, i don’t feel normal, am i crazy?… 😭😭i know that with ocd you’re not supposed to have reassurance and you have to be “okay” with the situation but.. how am i supposed to be okay with feeling like i could hurt someone…
I went out with my partner today to spend the day together and try and do some ERP. the whole time I linked my arm and had my phone in my other hand. I would purposely move out the way for children or notify her so she could see I didn’t do anything. Please tell me I’m not the only one with this type of harm OCD. I’m really panicking and it’s making me feel sick. I had that feeling where my stomach drops and I’m scared of my thoughts
Guys for the past couple of hours ive been spiraling! I wad researching and came across this harm ocd article question that has been worrying me. The title was "im scared of hurting someone when I'm mad. Can i trust myself?" And I was thinking "hey that's what ive been worried about for the past several months!" I even AVOID being angry. Im scared of it bc I get a lot of thoughts and I'm hyperaware of my hands and feel them tingly! Last time i tensed so hard to stay still as possible bc I was so so nervous from my thoughts and my hand twitched which made me SPIRAL. I never want to cause harm! And i always start crying after an argument bc the thoughts are so so scary! Anyway I got afraid bc the article said "research has shown that people with ocd don't struggle with impulse control- so if you find yourself intensely worried you could do harm based on the intrusive thoughts or urges you have, it's likely something else is going on." THAT SENTENCE HAS LEFT ME WITH A TON OF ANXIETY! Its so bad, my appetite is gone! I'm scared does this mean I don't have ocd and should be seriously concerned?!
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