Idk what sort of identity issue this is but i dont know how to think and respond. Like literally dont know how im supposed to behave, act, form opinions and decisions. Anytime i try to live my life like before( like a normal straight dude) it feels incredibly wrong, incorrect and forced. How do I tackle this when i cant even think for myself? Its very vaguely written, apologies for that but please tell.
They say don’t figure it out and just let everything fall back into place that what I’m trying to do I feel like discomfort and and stuff and confused just go with the flow and ignore these thoughts stay strong!
@Anonymous that’s definitely what I do try to do but then I always get the thought that I’ll become transgender in the future or something and then I’m just right back in my loop again and it sucks omg
I HAVE FELT THE EXACT SAME WAY!!!! OMG this makes me feel so much better I haven’t figured it out either I have just been trying not to be too hard on myself for the time being because trying to do anything I used to do in the past makes me anxious for some reason and like I was living a lie when I genuinely felt so happy at the time and now I just feel like I don’t even know who I am or like today I really just took the day to do nothing and just focus my direction and let enjoy watching movies and stuff and it’s made me feel better and just not think about everything and try to figure it out so much so maybe that might help? but just be gentle with yourself and try to remind yourself that it’s ocd even though it does feel super real it’s still your ocd and just trying not to ruminate or question too much and just let it be, that’s what I’ve been trying to do just so I could mentally feel better and just not be thinking about these thoughts all the time or like I have to figure myself out
Ive already ruminated so much tho, like way too much, i actually legit believe im gay/trans and why would it believe it so much if it wasnt true. Movies and stuff helps but its just a unhealthy coping method which ive burned through aswell now even they dont distract. I just dont know how to think
Yeah. I’m dealing with hocd and it does suck and this happened out of no where but I know it’s in my head and one day we are going to break these chains and look back at this trust
@Anonymous yeah it’s definitely a process but we’ll get back there!!!
@khm No worries. You got this if you need to talk I gotchu.
@Anonymous Thanks for letting me know!! I appreciate it!! If you need someone to talk to as well I’m also here
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
I think when people are saying OCD is egodystonic is really triggering me and I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone else? I’m going through a really bad relapse and right now I’m trying to figure out if my thoughts are truly egodystonic, like I how do I know I won’t act on them, how can I trust my emotions and everything. I feel really confused and I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore or how I carry on with life because it’s so long and I’m so unsure of everything that’s going on in my head. Like how do I know that this is OCD and true desires/urges. I’m so confused.
I just can’t do this shit anymore.im tired of these “arousal” sensations that feel real but when I go check my arousal to the same gender I just get anxiety. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t like girls anymore. I’m tired of my arousal getting blocked every now and then because I’m anxious. I’m tired of not knowing who I am anymore. I’m tired of having my mind putting me into an identity I never asked for. I’m tired of this life
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