Struggling with intrusive thoughts about my ex; seeking advice to move on.

Help me please.

I don't like these intrusive images and thoughts of my ex. I just want to be happy with my boyfriend. I wanna scream. I want these thoughts to stop. I really just want to be happy with my boyfriend but these stupid intrusive thoughts are pulling me down. And you might be wondering if I had what-if thoughts with other guys, yes. That's why I'm aware it's obsessive intrusive thoughts. This time, it latched on to my ex. My brain is making me think that I love him. I never had intrusive thoughts about him months before when I started suffering from rOCD. It's so scary because the thoughts feel so real. Any advice would be nice. I'm undergoing psychotherapy and meds (fluoxetine 20mg and olanzapine 5mg combo)

Relationship OCD

Username: JacklyngrantJacklyngrant

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m having the SAME EXACT THING happen to me! I never thought about my ex but I just got into a relationship and now my brain is thinking of him and pulling up images of him and it’s sooo frustrating. I’m fluoxetine 40mg and doing therapy too and I’m still talking to my therapist about why I’m having this problem. She explained to me that on top of me being already an anxious person that I have some unresolved emotions about my ex that might need to be worked through (in a healthy way ofc) and that I shouldn’t torture myself over why I’m suddenly thinking of him because I was afraid for a while that I still liked my ex but I know I don’t.. be easy on yourself and know you aren’t alone. It’s OCD and your brain has trouble processing emotions you’ve experienced in the past!

Username: idontknowmynameidontknowmyname

Date posted: 2y ago

It helps knowing that I'm not alone, so thank you for sharing! How have you been recently?

Username: JacklyngrantJacklyngrant

Date posted: 2y ago

@allyyyyyoe I’ve been alright.. I do much better when I get to talk to my boyfriend. We are long distance so it’s hard to not let my mind wander. I just want to feel sure he’s the one.. but I know that’s not realistic rn and my ocd is attacking me for it. How about you?

Username: SeeyouSeeyou

Date posted: 2y ago

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling that way. I am 23 years old in a relationship for 4 years now and I had rocd for my whole life. I am still having it. All the time. I am in therapy but sadly I don’t think that it helps me. When I read my diary from months ago I am still at the exact same spot where I was before. I am going in circles over and over again. I would love to help you or give you advise but the only thing I can tell you is that you are absolutely not alone. Although it’s not my ex that my rocd attacs but it is work colleges for example. I am so afraid to start a new job somewhere because there could be some nice guys at my age that are handsome and nice and all I want is maybe making a good friendship but my brain is telling me „ohh oh oh you could have some feelings there that are not only a friendship thing, you have to tell your boyfriend, you have to break up, you have to stop having contact with other potential partners bla blablablabla and it’s there the whole fucking day and it’s only one small part about what is going on in my head. I really mean it! That’s just the beginning of thousands of different thoughts I have in my mind. And I hate it. But I know that the only way of getting better is acceptance. To accept the uncertainty and that you can’t control everything. But that’s the biggest problem 😂 that I am so fucking afraid that I can’t control my emotions or feelings or anything and that they could ruin everything even if I don’t want them too. Oh god I hope you can find a way of getting better somehow and I wish you all the best 💛

Username: idontknowmynameidontknowmyname

Date posted: 2y ago

Intrusive thoughts can go to hell. I hope you're doing well.

Username: SeeyouSeeyou

Date posted: 2y ago

@allyyyyyoe Hope you are as well!

Username: JacklyngrantJacklyngrant

Date posted: 2y ago

The mere fact you are concerned about your thoughts of your ex show how much you care about your current relationship and prioritize him more than your ex.

Username: idontknowmynameidontknowmyname

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you so much!

Username: idontknowmynameidontknowmyname

Date posted: 2y ago

Back again.

Username: ELO

Date posted: 5y ago

Please some advice for ROCD, I’m having a bad day feeling lifeless and hopeless Today I’ve sat and allowed the intrusive feelings and thoughts about an ex to flow over me today without resisting in a bid to do some ERP and now I just feel guilty and lifeless. I am in love with my boyfriend who is so supportive and incredible. But not a day passes where this ex is in my head. And it scares me. Because I know I love my current boyfriend. I know these thoughts are intrusive but they feel so real, is that normal? I call them ‘fake feelings’ telling myself that it’s the ocd trying to trick me. This ex was awful. He was nasty and mean. I know I don’t want to be with him but then intrusive thoughts kick in and they feel so real so I get extremely guilty. I even feel guilty typing this. Can anyone help me please? ?

Username: Anonimo05

Date posted: 1y ago

Im in a relationship for 4 years, but i had been in contact with my ex a few times. WORSE DECISION, after confessing i developed ocd. Different themes, i literally quit my previous job because i believed that i was going to fall in love with just anyone from there, female, male, kid etc. It was very difficult, but that theme is not loud anymore. I noticed how my ocd attached to the mistakes i made, and now is torturing me by reminding me every day with hard evidence i dont love my partner, or love songs remind me of my ex. Almost as if i see him everywhere, there are days that my bf says something and my mind tells me oh it sounds like your ex, or if i see my ex in him, its so weird, next year we planned a trip, same country/neighborhood where i met my ex, i feel like going back to where i met him might trigger my anxiety. How do i get rid of these ex thoughts, i dont want to be with my ex. I just want to erase these thoughts and everything is annoying me

Username: sofiarenee

Date posted: 1y ago

relationship ocd. so tired.

so back in july i made a mistake of going behind my partner’s back and hanging out with an old guy friend (who i had a romantic past with) and while i was hanging out with him i had a great time but man my thoughts were going crazy. i found him attractive, funny, etc. i’ve known him for years and everytime we would talk i felt there was some type of tension. like romantic or something. well i felt it again when we hung out and immediately regretted it because i know i love my boyfriend a lot and i felt like a horrible person for doing something like that. i couldn’t hide it from him any longer than i did (not even 3 days) so i told him and he got really upset. at the time i didn’t know what i want, either my boyfriend or that friend. i decided to stay with my boyfriend and ever since i’ve been getting crazy intrusive thoughts about my old friend (i blocked him so i don’t have contact with him). a few months later (now) i know that i want and love my boyfriend, i don’t want to be with anyone else. but i’ve been getting so many intrusive thoughts about that guy and seeing certain posts just remind me of him even when i don’t want them to. then my brain starts to spiral - ‘what if you actually want to be with him instead and you’re just in denial right now’ or something like ‘you dont love your boyfriend, if you did you wouldnt be having these thoughts’ and i’m just so..drained. i’m so tired of thinking about this guy, i seriously don’t want to think about him. i just want to be happy with my boyfriend. i keep telling myself i know what i want, because i do. i want to be with my bf and i want to be happy with him…i love him so much. but my brain just tries to tell me otherwise. i know i messed up and i’m paying the price for it. maybe i do deserve this. i just wish i could erase everything, my past, etc. and just move on. my boyfriend doesn’t hold what i did against me but he’s well aware of what happened and i know how it made him feel. i would do anything to take it back because he doesn’t deserve that, he never did. and i seriously want to be better for him. but these constant thoughts i get are always getting in the way and almost making me feel hopeless. i haven’t told my bf about these thoughts because i’m worried he would take it the wrong way. i really don’t think i should tell him because i know for a fact it would send us both down a spiral and i don’t want that. but, ocd will always try to get what it wants. anyone else going through something similar? some common humanity would probably ease my mind a bit. (in a non-compulsive way. or maybe this is a compulsion. idk.)

Relationship OCD

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Struggling with intrusive thoughts about my ex; seeking advice to move on.

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