First ERP attempts of my life, watching "how i knew i was Gay" types videos. Little anxiety and Felt kind of arousal (no groinal responce) without any context, panic and anxiety followed, I fell back into my intimate compulsions to reassure myself (big mistakes, I know), went back to ERP but it dont feel the same... Is this normal in the ERP process ("arousal" feeling especialy)?
I truly believe that sometimes arousal comes from fear and anxiety itself. Try not to think about what arouses you, but instead what arouses you and makes you happy at the same time.
Yeah, I understand, even if now my brain is trying to mentally reviewing if this moment was making me happy or not lol... I choose to not know and embrace uncertainty. Thanks for the advice, I will try it.
@quenttt Of course! I always try to remember too that when I’m attracted to girls (I’m a straight male) that there is no uncertainty. Especially if I’m in a good mood and not checking. Attraction should be natural without the “fuzz” or over thinking. Hopefully that helps.
@Anonymous yeah bro, right now I'm in a state where all the men i see cause me anxiety and rumination, but this feeling is not the same as the one I had with girls, this feeling is unpleasant, seems to be forced and anxiety-provoking, the one towards girls was natural and pleasant for me even if now this attraction seems to have drastically decreased... I hope to get out of this and get over it
@quenttt Yeah man same I love the feeling when I look at a women and her attraction catches my attention and stuff I also feel that my attraction has fallen less but don’t worry it said it’s because are under constant anxiety and stuff so don’t worry bro. It’s tough I did some exposures right I saw a queer family feud episode and what what you do gay episode. Stay strong and avoid any compulsions
@Anonymous Thks man, have good day.
@quenttt Yeah. Man same with men aswell like I get triggered when I see a guy it’s very uncomfortable and unpleasant I hate it. But we have to train the Brain that there is not threat here and live with it. For I work at a grocery store so I get tons of exposure there and I think it’s helping me a lot. Since there are also gay couples there too that come in. And when a thought comes in I be like yeah Forsure or I’ll do that next time. Or say something dumb yeah it’s scary thinking if you mean but in reality you get used to it and shouldn’t be bothering as much
@quenttt Im three months in recovery we have to push forward man
I think I know the feeling you describe. But it’s normal that anxiety can feel like arousal because it does similar things to your body: heart racing, sweating, etc. But ultimately it’s difficult to know the difference so the best we can do is accept the uncertainty.
Thks for the advice
Yeah, I've been going through this for months but it seems to get worse at times. my psychologist told me that she thinks it's HOCD but does not make me do ERP, I felt better once after a psychologist session for 4 days (slight return of libido, concentration on my work, etc...) but since the infernal spiral has returned with renewed vigor. in short it's very confused in my heads... already have other OCD theme before but this one is very complicated for me, I don't lose hope of feeling myself again one day, good luck man.
Yeah Man. I also had an ocd theme before this. I thought I had a disease and stuff I slowly got over it and a couple weeks later this hocd happened it gave a lot of anxiety and fear and doubts and stuff it really messed up until I started getting help after a month. It’s sucks butt thinking back I think I would’ve been in much worse condition.
what the hell? this entire day ive been trying to do ERP right? allowing the thoughts feelings, sensations be there with very little reaction, saying"oh that's a thought", "that's a feeling" don't care" etc. But it seems to be making it 100x times worse. Like its impossible to just"ignore" it, it feels so freaking real as if this was the truth, the doubts are real, the false attraction feelings and lip sensations are REAL and genuine attraction, feels ego-synotic, its impossible just to ignore or move on from it because I think I'm so hyperfocused on it all so it last the whole day. IDK right now it feels and seems as if I lost? like its not a what if but it feels factual like"I'm naturally gay, I'm gay" and it feels like normal and become ok with that. But I don't want that I don't want to be gay.
How long should I do ERP, so that my brain gets used to it, not to say tired?! I've been working for about three months, but everything still seems vivid in my head, there are even vulgar words in detail... since the sexual topic is both a groinal and a feeling that I want to touch myself. It's mostly related to faces and genitals, so how exactly can that go, if it's emphasized that sex pictures in themselves give that feeling, whoever is in them?
does it also happen to you that during exposure to erp you can imagine that act and scene in detail, and feel some confused excitement that leaves you stressed because it is hard to believe that it is part of OCD, it seems so real! When i can imagine it in detail and feel it like i can actually get arousel about it.
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