How can I escape the anxiety? Im in non stop anxiety mode. At first it was typical ocd cycle where the anxiety would peak then dissipate. But the last 17 months its there relentelessly 24/7, i can hardly do things

How do you guys get past the anxiety? I feel like my thoughts are the only thing that control my mind. So often I feel like I should just leave my partner even tho I love them so much because I just feel like these thoughts are too much. I over analyze everything. I feel so stuck and defeated. I just want to be normal. I feel so toxic for the thoughts that I have

I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.

Does anyone have any experience with this? I wake up early with severe, severe anxiety and nothing seems to help. I try embracing the anxiety, breathing, and exercising. But these things only seem to help a little. Fortunately, I do think the length of the attacks are getting shorter (mainly because I'm still trying my best to live normally in spite of them), but they are still lasting a good 5-6 hours. They are quite debilitating. Does anyone have any advice for dealing with these? I've read much about potential solutions (being okay with the anxiety), but I was looking for some personal antecdotes. Thank you