Have you experienced this?

I was scrolling through ig and a very pretty actress showed up on my feed. I felt like I genuinely found her sexually attractive and got a groinal response. To rest this I imagine kissing her and I felt like I would like it. The thing is I didn't panic but I really wish I did. I don't want it to be like this. I don't want to be anything besides straight and don't want to have a sexual or romantic attraction to women. Does this make sense? The thing that worries me is that I felt like I was enticing the idea and gave it truth but I don't want it to be true.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Meg Johnson

Date posted: 3y

I get it. I spend days trying not to think about doing that with women and the thoughts come back worse because I don't engage. Honestly, it might be good that you do this in your mind, cause they say ocd allows you to do it in your mind instead of real life. If your experiencing a loss of attraction to guys, you'll get it back it just takes time. Think of it this way; have you ever been really mad at someone and imagined punching them in the face? Did it feel good to think it, but not do it? It might be kind of like that, it doesn't actually you mean you want to hurt somebody, you're just thinking of it. And it doesn't mean you actually want to kiss this actress, you just thought about it and the more you don't imagine it, the bigger the urge is.

Meg Johnson

Date posted: 2y

No. We don't do it, because we know it's not really us, it's just how we are feeling. There is nothing immoral about homosexuality, but in hocd, we fear it because we know it's not us. We fear it because we fear becoming something that we are not. That's why we do not hit someone because we know it's just the feeling at the moment and it's not us.

Meg Johnson

Date posted: 2y

@polishgirl Exactly. And besides this, what we are feeling with hocd is false feelings, caused by our anxiety but our ocd minds can't tell the difference right now.

Meg Johnson

Date posted: 2y

It's like we acknowledge it and then move it. I guess you gotta take away the thoughts importance.

Meg Johnson

Date posted: 2y

The way I've heard people explain it is like this: we do have the power but we feel like we don't. And the more we don't try because we feel hopeless or bad, the deeper into OCD we get. You have to acknowledge you have the power. Think about how the HOCD started, you put importance on a thought by worrying about it, right? And it seems like "of course, I would worry about it, it's messing with me". But you gotta acknowledge the thought and not ruminate about it. No compulsions like checking and carrying on with your day instead of ruminating which is hard. But it gets easier they say.

Meg Johnson

Date posted: 2y

And they also say when you are making sure you are not ruminating, if it feels like it's still there in the back of your head, that's fine. Don't panic. Just keep on with your day and apparently the less it will be there.

Meg Johnson

Date posted: 2y

It's hard to explain.

Anonymous123

Date posted: 24w

Thoughts make sense

I've always found women pretty and admired them since I was younger, never wanted to be with them or anything. I always pictured having a boyfriend and my crushes were always boys. I have a boyfriend now but because this has happened I feel nothing towards him or any men. To be honest I'm so exhausted I don't feel much at all, there was so much anxiety at the start and now there is none. Does that mean I have accepted the thoughts. My mind keeps going you were suppressed all these years but I do find women pretty so that's what's making it worse. Am I just in denial and being delusional? I never doubted my sexuality before this I always considered myself to be straight but I feels like my mind has been twisted and can't remember any attraction to guys but can remember thinking girls are pretty? Does this mean it's all real? I don't know anymore

Anonymousssssss

Date posted: 18w

Can someone please offer words of advice :(

Why are things so real the first time they’re in my mind and then when I think about it later it’s easier for me to be like wtf?? I was watching a movie earlier and the young girl had developed more in the chest area than the last movie and I felt the desire to check her out so I did. Then later I let myself imagine her having sex and I liked it. But now looking back I’m like ew. The boys in the movie have also developed as the movie went on and I couldn’t help but think that in their real life they’ve probably woken up to boners and s*men and stuff. And looking back it’s just ugh. Idk if it’s sexual relevance but I genuinely let myself indulge in these thoughts and groinal responses and I remember thinking to myself I don’t want to be attracted to little kids and how do I stop myself (everyone has attractive qualities so in younger boys I see man like qualities). Idk I need help. I wouldn’t type this out if I truly believe I was messed up but I’m still scared

Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

HOCD or not?

Has anyone experienced where you love woman everything about them, even to the point where you still can get erections watching normal porn, lesbian porn etc. but you find your self still admiring a good looking man. I’ve went through the groinal responses when seeing a man but honestly after watching porn and realizing it’s not about sex it went away. On the other hand even when there’s a male and a female in a picture I can’t stop looking at the male and judging, but the minute they’re naked I’m fine and looking at the woman. I started watching porn at a very young age so I’m wondering do I only sexualize woman and admire the man so in everyday life I don’t see her as beautiful because she’s not naked ? I understand as a straight male I can still think guys are attractive but why do I constantly notice them more than women? I also can admire and see when a girl is beautiful in the face but then if a dude that’s more attractive than me pops up in staring at him. Has anyone experience this?

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