- Date posted
- 3y
ROCD
I’m getting really demoralised! Every time I focus on a doubt as to why I’m not in the right relationship, I eventually stop obsessing over the reason but something else comes up and replaces it immediately. Like for example I used to obsess that my boyfriend was dangerous and had bad intentions, I know for sure now that this is not the case and trust him. I then obsessed over the fact he wasn’t my usual type and I quickly got I’ve that one as he is attractive anyways and we just had a great connection. I obsessed over looking at his photos on social media and comparing them to other men at one point, again I no longer carry out that compulsion or feel the need to. Then randomly it turned to obsessing over his height , he’s a bit taller than me but we’re about the same height but that’s never been a big issue for me and it hasn’t even crossed my mind until moths in , again I no longer care about this. I developed and obsession that I fancied some other guy I knew , I will mention I never even fancied or thought about this other guy in that way until I had intrusive thoughts with my boyfriend it’s only after I met my boyfriend that I started obsessing about ‘what if i like this other guy more’ which i now realise is not the case and I never did . I obsessed over thinking my boyfriend is gay and didn’t fancy me , I even confessed and he said it’s worrying I would have this kind of doubt 2 years in to our relationship and he was obviously concerned as it’s not the case . Then earlier today I walked past this guy when I was walking my dog that I found attractive but my head started visioning a future with this other guy and I was like ‘what If that means you’re supposed to be with this other guy and is a sign etc’ which is stupid cause I love my boyfriend and we’ve built a strong love and have plans to get married and I would never want to not be with my boyfriend ! I’m lost because I feel like every time I get past a hurdle something else gets thrown into the mix, and I know I won’t break up with my boyfriend over these thoughts but it doesn’t worry me like will I ever be able to be happy and not worry