So I tried accepting that I was bi in order to make the thoughts stop. I found my love for my boyfriend again but then got depressed because I don’t wanna be with a girl at all I think it’s weird. The other day I had thoughts of being bi and I was like I don’t care cuz I’m gonna marry my boyfriend one day. I’m worried this is denial but I don’t have the false attraction to girls like I used to ever since then and when I do I don’t feel attracted at first and after the analyzing I feel really anxious and scared because it’s not something I want. I don’t even think about them sensually anymore but my mind/body still try to convince me. Anyone else go through this??

@BostonOCD22 I’ve had those moments of clarity of being straight and then when I try to ignore the the thoughts and feelings my anxiety seems to triple. I try to remember that because these “attractions” come from a place of fear that they aren’t me and just say yeah whatever. As soon as I feel straight my mind starts to cloud up and the thoughts start up again. Typing this I’m realizing I should just go with what makes my ocd take off the most because that’s who I really am and who I was before all of this

@Anonymous I also had a moment last week where I was mad at the possibility of not being able to go see my boyfriend. I was happy to have this feeling even if it was anger but then my ocd tried to tell me oh you only care about him like you do one of your friends

@nobody03 I should’ve put “accept” in quotes my apologies. I still experience false attraction from time to time (it gets worse sometimes because I don’t have thoughts of being with them romantically or sexually) but my body/mind still try to convince me I do

@nobody03 My mind does sometimes try to morph my boyfriend into a woman when I’m with him or gives me thoughts that like “you’d rather he be a woman” and things like that which I try to ignore and just focus on the moment

@Anonymous i experience the exact same thing and i hate it so much. it’s so off putting i try to ignore it and i thought i was the only one who ever thought that. i know my thoughts aren’t facts but they’re still distressing. it feels good not to be alone

@Anonymous i guess we just have to stay strong and realize these are just thoughts. it’s easier said than done

@nobody03 I’ve heard that’s classic HOCD for that to happen. It even distorts memories as well. I think this is an extension of the depressive episode I went through related to school. I didn’t feel anything for anyone for a while and then it started happening. I also think because of the security of the relationship with my boyfriend and the high possibility we could get married my brain is trying to keep me in chaos because that’s what my brain is used to (didn’t grow up in the best home environment). I never felt this way before this and that’s what I try to remind myself of and try to trust that

@Anonymous maybe it could be related. i went through a depressive episode too and i left it untreated. but i’m just glad to know that we’re not alone and we’re not our thoughts. but it’s hard to recognize that when you’re in the spiral of anxiety

@nobody03 Especially when you’re having a good time and then as soon as you see someone of the same sex you just have instant fear and then even if you’re not actually attracted to them the fear is what causes the false attraction. That’s what I try to remember is a lot of these false attractions come from fear and if they come from fear they aren’t real

@Anonymous i know that’s what exactly what i feel too. hopefully we can overcome this bc it’s so debilitating