About a year ago I began to worry about developing schizophrenia it was so bad that I convinced myself I needed sectioned and that I definitely have it. Since then My intrusive thoughts have jumped from theme to theme but It always seems to go back to worrying about schizophrenia I don’t get anxious like I used to but it’s so annoying I wish someone could tell me 100% that I’ll never get it. I know the chances are really small and i will probably never get it but the uncertainty kills me

I can’t stop worrying about one day I’ll become schizophrenic...help

okay pretty sure i’m developing this now as it’s been a background obsession for a while. my brain keeps thinking of demons and a white witch coming to get me and i was lying alone in the dark and i keep seeing this white shadowy thing or if i see a glare in some glass or something my brain just says “the white witch is coming for you” and then i get paranoid about it because i feel like it’s something that somebody hallucinating/ delusional would think. and i keep thinking about really scary paranormal stuff which is so scary and then i’m wondering why am i so paranoid and scared about this because i don’t think it’s real but then i get scared saying that thinking it will get mad at me if i say it’s not real, and then i think it’s probably schizophrenia for me to believe this but then i get worried that it’s not and apparently if u pay attention to this scary stuff it comes for you and now i’m scared af. i hate that i used the word “it” aswell cos it makes it seem more real. because i don’t want to say it’s not in case there is something, but i don’t want to even believe this because i think it’s abit delusional and it’s like a PARADOX! and then whenever i start thinking about exsistential things it horrible because it always just goes back to me possibly have schizophrenia or developing it due to thinking weird stuff about the universe and my identity. and it’s bad because someone in my family has it and due to the diathesis stress model it’s more likely to occur when u have a genetic risk and prolonged environmental stress which i obviously have had now for the past 2 years due to harm and sexual related themes literally scaring the shit out of me :((( and i’m not at the age where it develops yet which is the early 20s so basically there’s still a chance and i’m scared now and don’t rlly know what to do cos i have a feeling the gene is triggered and now i’m just waiting for the symptoms to go fully blown and they’re already beginning. and i keep having this horrible feeling my hands are on backwards and it’s so scary and i feel like i’m having sensory hallucinations… and i get alice and wonderland syndrome where everything starts to feel rlly rlly fast (but i’ve had this since i was young, it’s just been abit more often recently) and i’m getting it more often and i’m just terrified that i’m starting to get hallucinations. I’m basically just venting so other people can feel less alone with this, not seeking any reassurance

So it started i think a month ago when i saw a video about a psyhopath and it said that they start by killing animals when they are young and when i was younger i was killing grasshoppers and from that day i had a fear in my head what if im a psyhopath and don’t know it. i couldn’t get the fear out of my head its like alaways on my mind and i got so scared that something is wrong with me so i started googling stuff because i was so scared that i have a mental illnes so i started reading about stuff one google and i saw a illnes called Schizophrenia and i read about it and when i saw the symptoms i got scared that i have them because i have felt kinda stuck in my mind because of the fear and now im scared that im in the early stage of schizophrenia. Please i just want the fears to stop someone give me advice i just want to live a happy life and focus on my school but its hard because of my fears please how do i know that i dont have schizophrenia because i have read about it i feel like i actually have the symptoms im so tired i would love some i advice please