help please i can’t

I’m feeling super bad right now, my anxiety is super high i’m holding back tears i really don’t want to be gay but everytime i see a masculine lesbian it feels as if i actually like them and i’m terrified that i’ll recover from this but even after i’ll still feel this “attraction” towards masc lesbians and then i’ll end up dating them and when i try to imagine a life of being gay i can actually see it which triggers me so much because that’s not what i want at all i just want to live life like i did before this just happily with my boyfriend and i feel so guilty and bad for him bc i’m having these thoughts i keep felling like he deserves someone better someone please help because i feel so so so bad right now

Sexual Orientation OCD

Ocdisnthelpi...

Date posted: 2y

Don't worry about it , we all go through rough times just remember that you love ur bf and you like men and try to stay calm , everything passes with time

sillygoose1012

Date posted: 2y

I feel you more than you know, I'm in the same situation. If I see a masculine woman it's like I can't look away bc I'm mentally testing my attraction and it leads me to "ok I have to feel some attraction if I'm always doing this"..and then I'm like "no it's ocd it's normal to be doing that"..and thenI'm like wait maybe it's no, etc etc and I spiral. I'm not much help but just know you're not alone <3

sillygoose1012

Date posted: 2y

+ I also have a boyfriend which makes me feel immensely guilty because he has no idea I struggle with this and it makes me feel like I'm living a lie/in denial/leading him on and I get so anxious and feel sick thinking I could be doing that to him

stephanie

Date posted: 2y

@California2325 Yup! That’s exactly how I feel, my boyfriend doesn’t know I struggle with this either and I don’t think I want to tell him because i’m afraid he’ll look at me differently/never look at me the same. This is a hard concept to understand unless you’ve gone or are going through it. With the masculine women that’s exactly what I do as well, I stare and look over and over because Im checking to see how I feel. And sadly most of the time I get groinals or feelings of attraction that are so devastating.

sillygoose1012

Date posted: 2y

@stephanie I don't really experience that but I've heard that's normal w ocd. Something I've heard is that if you're constantly testing yourself/thinking about something and waiting to see how you feel, your body is most likely gonna respond to the thoughts and it doesn't actually mean anything

sillygoose1012

Date posted: 2y

@stephanie But yes I totally know what u mean, it's so so hard to understand unless you're actually experiencing it first hand. To any outsider unaware of relationship/sexual orientation ocd, this conversation between us would look like we're just in denial lol. I literally don't feel comfortable talking to anyone ab it except a therapist and even then I shy away sharing my thoughts/ feelings bc I feel so weird

🤎🤎

Date posted: 2y

YES, i experience this too, i always have done. when i first started middle school and actually learnt what a lesbian was i was “grossed out” but kinda like interested( not in like a sexual way) and then now STILL i feel like i’m interested in any masculine lesbian and it’s so triggering. it may just be bc we’re not used to it. but i do hope you’re okay <3

Anonymous123

Date posted: 23w

I'm so convinced it's just denial

I feel sick to my stomach, a few days ago I knew I was straight and could picture my life with my bf again. The anxiety has really lessend and Im more depressed now. I'm 100% convinced I am lesbian even tho I have never had sexual attraction to women, found them pretty but never wanted to be with them. My mind is only picturing me being with women now and it feels like a pit in my stomach. I don't feel emotion now, I'm also on my period. I don't want to be lesbian. I want to be with my boyfriend and have the life I pictured with him. My memory is so dissorted right now. I don't think there's anything wrong with being lesbian, it's just not for me and now that makes me feel like I'm homophobic.

Masc4lesb

Date posted: 17w

LESBIAN DEALING WITH SO OCD

I am a 18 year old masc lesbian with a loving girlfriend for 1 year, and I have been lesbian for almost my whole life and I have never been attracted to men in any way. flash to my past, My ex girlfriend who used to identify as a lesbian had cheated on me with a man. Recently I saw this tiktok of this masc lesbian turn straight and my friends and girlfriend made jokes I am going to turn straight for my male best friend. My male best friend came over and he’s a great guy but I do not want him in any way. when him and i were hanging out my mind threw in a thought it was “What if i like him”, i came back home and i had the worst panic attack and i felt so sick, i cried and i cried. ever since that day I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts, i don’t want a man in any way, and i feel comfortable as a lesbian but these thoughts won’t stop and they become worse when i see people say being lesbian is a phase or that i haven’t met the right guy or i’ll change in the future. i just want these thoughts to stop, i don’t want to stop being a lesbian ever, i love women so much and i just want all of this to be over with. i do not want a man in any way and im tired of my thoughts doubting myself and i hate the “what ifs”, I just want to be my old self, I want to be happy with my girlfriend.

anonymous1348

Date posted: 16w

soocd

just crying cause i feel like im never going to recover and just have to be lesbian, even tho i love my boyfriend so much. thoughts don’t even give me anxiety anymore idk what to do, im just so done, feel like it’s all real and that i want it(when i dont). any tips or anything, idk how to keep going

Sexual Orientation OCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

help please i can’t

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community