I’m not feeling right. It’s really like I don’t love him or I know I don’t love him. I was fine for awhile but was still dealing with the unwanted feelings/intrusive thoughts in the background. I still ask for kisses. I just don’t feel like I should touch him at all… I haven’t been crying but I started getting upset about how I’ve been feeling. I obsessed our issues so much I feel detached. I’m just worried I really don’t love him anymore…. 😞 it feels that real.

I am scared. I just don’t wanna admit I am not in love anymore… bc it honestly feels that way… 😢 I don’t want it to be that way! I keep waking up bc I honestly believe I don’t love him anymore! 😭 it never felt like this before! I just wanna love him! 😭😭 I keep believing I am lying I keep believing I am leading him on. I don’t like this! It never felt this strong and felt so true! It’s like I am stuck like this!! 😭😭

@7710 ❤️ You aren’t alone! I’m struggling with these exact feelings and moments. It’s hard. Bc even though you know love is a choice, there is OCD bullying and making you think you don’t want that choice anymore. The disconnection becomes insane and you start to believe everything bc you don’t have feelings or positive thoughts to reassure you. So you just feel numb, hopeless, and disconnected. I get it 100%. The worst feeling ever. It’s possible that it’s done. But it’s also possible that the feelings are there and exist deep underneath the trauma. It’s all confusing. But at the end of the day…. What the worst that can happen? We will be ok. OCD is a bitch.

@Shut up brain I know they do. I am freaking out bc it’s never felt this serious before…. 😖

@Shut up brain It hasn’t gotten easier. Not one bit.

@7710 ❤️ I’m tired of being stressed out by everything and everyone around me. I hate my job.. ( don’t know what type of career I even want) I hate living with my family bc they just constantly yell and get pissed off for no freaking reason. Living with my family has put strain on the relationship! But don’t make enough so we can’t even move out!! I am tired of people thinking they can control me and my freaking car and get pissed off at me when I say no to them! I stress eat and buying things bc it’s a stress relief! I just want the stress to end!

@7710 ❤️ Hey sounds like professional help could be good. Do you have someone to talk to?

@tgrace22 No… that’s why things have been difficult…

@7710 ❤️ Yeah it can be hard. Some tips…I’d advise you to find a trusted friend or family member you can lean on or if you’re spiritual at all, a local pastor or church. It’s always helpful to have perspective from people who are closer to your situation in real life. Sounds like you’re aware of the bad patterns so that’s good. Maybe take some time each day to do some mindful journaling and figure out what you can control and what you can’t in each situation and remind yourself of your values. Let your values guide your actions. Maybe get some books on careers, relationships, etc? The point is you have agency even though you feel overwhelmed, you are not powerless!

@tgrace22 I did have a friend I could go to but I heard she gossiped about it thru a friend and that caused me to lose trust in her.. right now I am convinced I don’t love anyone.. I just hate feeling this way… it’s really like I no longer love him…

Ugh yes this has been my struggle too

I’m not. I am still confused if this is even ROCD or not. I know I still love him and have feelings for him still. I am actually worried if I fell out of love. I know being in love is a feeling but that’s why I am worried. What if I’m not in love anymore? It’s like I know I’m not… but I know I’ve been obsessing for a long time. I still ask for hugs and kisses. I still do things to show I love him him yet I think I don’t love him? I do more for him than anyone else.