Does punching any object and counting to 1-16 when i see my triggers consider as a compulsion? Does this also consider as a compulsion whenever i saw someone that trigger or can trigger me i always bash them or find anything negative to them i always curse them......?
Sounds more like strong anger reaction, however it’s not always easy to tell. First thing I would look at is is there an ongoing compulsive desire to hit something? Does it consume your mind until you can’t take it anymore and hit. And last, once you do hit some and count out, how does that make you feel. Less stressed or still agree?
Sure. See these o e all the time. However, there’s way more info about than could be put into text. One thing I will say is OCD can cause arousal that has nothing to do with sexual attraction. This subtype seems rely heavily on creating doubt and uncertainty, which is how it tricks you. Deep down you know who you are but OCD still makes you feel uncertain. So you seek certainty. How do you obtain certain in this case? That’s the ever plaguing question. But you don’t have to with ERP. You just seek to eliminate actions and behaviors and not on the thoughts themselves
But I don’t want to feel desire for the same sex how do I do what u have said I’m a bit confused
@Anonymous That’s the point of doing it. You may find you don’t feel any true desire but only arousal at times. OCD can create arousal for the same sex but it can’t make you desire it. However, your mind can make you confused about what is what SO OCD is one of the trickiest most uncertainty and doubt creating types of OCD imo.
Hi @ Rex p I need help I feel a horny mental arousal feeling with sexual orientation ocd towards the same sex I don’t get physical arousal tho have u got any knowledge on this ?
How’s that going? Just curious as I’ve seen some give too much power to the doubt and fear
I think it’s real aeousal cuz it’s just mental like I enjoy the though feeling even though I wish I didn’t it’s a horny feeling which isn’t what ur saying ur saying it not sexual attraction when it feels like it is it’s only over the same sex which is not what I want I wish it was over the opposite sex
Im scared
??
Please
I’m sure the arousal is real, but arousal alone means little. You mentioned “horney feelings”. Our feelings, like OCD, can deceive us at times for various reasons. Take a minute to ignore the feelings and observe what desires come up and the specifics of those desires. Not specific towards anyone but a general feeling of desire for something.
If I focus on the feeling I feel like I have to do a sexual act as it’s arosual
@Anonymous Why? Just feeling aroused does not mean you have to even involve sex. It’s just a feeling like any other one.
But the horny feelings are everytime I think of men sexually like straight away so it not just my feeling deceiving me cuz it’s everytime and it’s consistent which proves it’s real attraction
@Anonymous I understand. I also understand that almost everyone with SO OCD feels the exact same way at times.
@Anonymous Well, you said you don’t want to be attracted to other men, and yet you have all these confusing feelings right. SO OCD sounds accurate to me but I don’t know all the details. But the way you describe it is almost identical to others with sexual orientation OCD. I hope you’re seeing an OCD specialist because I can tell it’s been difficult for you and it usually is on everyone going through it.
I guess u believe it’s not ocd as u haven’t got any more advice cuz it’s not ocd
It me being turned on tho so it’s real
Or is not real and OCD causing? Probably soon after saying it is probably real, you probably had the thought above at some point. In thinking about others I’ve seen with Sexual orientation, there is always one thing that I seem to notice, and that’s that the “uncertainty” or doubt they experienced was really what they had the biggest problem with. The not knowing for sure. Some would be fine being with being the opposite of what they always were if it brought 100% certainty. Break it down to just OCD with no subtype that’s what OCD in all forms is, powerful feelings of doubt and sense of uncertainty. This is why we seek reassurance, research for hours, ruminate often. Because we are looking for the final answer. The one that brings us absolute proof and we can have peace of mind again. There’s nothing I can see to help you feel confident either way. Because that answer we seek does not actually exist. You might say, well if I can’t be certain what do I do? Good question? But you don’t target the fear of what your orientation is. With exposure therapy you target the doubt and uncertainty
I’ve been trying to work on what u have said and thank u for ur help but I’m struggling cuz when u said why do I have to think of sex when I feel arousal I didn’t get it cuz I feel like my body is telling me it wants taht when I get these thoughts which proves it’s true and i can’t see if I desire them cuz I’m not sure what to feel and if I felt no desire I know my ocd would twist so I do anyway I’m struggling I really want arousal to the opposite sec but I just can’t feel it which makes me sad and think it’s definitely denial
I see that also. Not only do they get aroused by the same sex they feel a lack of arousal by the opposite sex which leads to more doubt and uncertainty, many times to o where the person just wants to accept and believe it is true in order to lower their discomfort. If you understand how compulsions work, you’ll probably see how this is basically the same thing. But again, especially with sexual orientation OCD, which only survives by creating doubt and uncertainty. You’d think that some of these situations it would be accurate and that the person would turn out to be the opposite of what they thought. However, I have never seen not even one case where this happens. Not one person has ever become attracted to the same sex only and continued living that lifestyle. Not one has ever acknowledged sleeping with or being intimate with the same sex. It’s never gone past the strong feeling of doubt that makes you want to believe and except this is true. I read an article that made me think of our discussions and I will try and find it and send you a link sometime today. When you say you’ve been trying to work on this, are you doing it on your own or do you have a trained professional in ERP working with you? I’ve personally never seen success doing it on your own for many reasons but with the right therapist, commitment, and time, I’ve never seen these not succeed unless the give up and about 99% of the time they give up right near the point where progress tends to speed up. This is a unique and difficult sub type. But ultimately it’s just OCD doing what it always does, it’s just attached to something that is extremely important to us, our identity
Did u manage to find taht article I had a dream last night about being with the opposite sec and I didn’t feel aroused when I woke up
@Anonymous I thought I was reading it on my phone but it would still be in the history if I did. I’m gonna keep looking for it to send or run a new search and find might be best. I will follow up soon
But how does it cause arousal tho like how does it do that
Look I don’t think I can say this is ocd I have a girlfriend I wann. Get aroused with her but I can’t then I get these arousals to men which I don’t want and it obvious I’m in denial I can’t carry on with her I wanna be with her but I can’t get aeoused when u want to but maybe I just am not straight that’s y I don’t get aroused at all it’s to reall
It mental aeousal tho I don’t get erections so it’s not ocd
@rex p I’m reading articles everywhere that mental aeousal is a big sign of what attracts u and that it’s physical arousal that is an ocd symptom not mental cuz that’s desire
@Anonymous First, always be mindful of where you get your information. There are probably more inaccurate sources out there then true accurate ones. Both physical and mental arousal are a reaction to either an external or internal trigger not necessarily related to sexual attraction to someone. Arousal and sexual attraction are not the same. Men can get hard without arousal and in certain situations 2 men can get mentally aroused from each other without sexual desire. Going deeper into this discussion would be more scientific based imo because it’s more about how our bodies and minds respond to stimuli than an answer to why we may feel a certain way. With OCD the problem really has nothing to do with either one unless your goal is to remain trapped in your head all the time arguing and doubting OCD. That is one way it traps us. When OCD first strikes, especially S O OCD, it’s confusing and we don’t understand what the hell is going on. So what do we do? We begin looking for “the answer” by researching, seeking reassurance, checking our feelings and so forth. What are these? Compulsions right, and we engage in compulsions to lower the distress we feel. Here’s the problem with that. Each time your research or look for the answer you are literally reinforcing your OCD helping it grow stronger and more powerful than you. It is us who take a basic thought or feeling and help it grow to an all consuming monster. But we keep doing it. We keep expecting to “find the answer” out there online or in a book or someone. The sad truth is, however, what we look for doesn’t really exist. Because we are looking for certainty, confidence in our thinking, and to figure it all out. I am not aware of anyone who has beaten OCD by finding the answer somewhere. All we are doing again is reinforcing OCD. Feeding it the attention it so strongly wants. But what would happen if you stopped feeding it? Stopped giving it all this attention? Stopped researching for something you will never find. I’m assuming most people with OCD just want their peace of mind back and a break from the loud mouth beast. If that is what you want, your doing the opposite each time you read and researching information about it. The only way out of OCDs grip is to go through it. To face the fear, accept that is there, and let it be without resistance This is ERP. You begin allowing yourself to experience your feelings and the discomfort they bring realizing that they will pass and that’s all you have to do is wait I’ll they pass without engaging in a compulsion. Then do it again and again until you become habituated to the fear and it no longer has the same effect
Like I look at males and feel that mental arousal it’s not ocd no one else has said it can be
@Anonymous There are more than two types of arousal and arousal alone doesn’t mean sexual attraction
@NOCD Therapist - Rex P. Hello Dr. I’m in need of some assistance. Forgive me for jumping into the conversation. But I’m struggling a bit, really scared. I read a story about how a man performed oral sex on another male. The feelings I got of it were weird and almost felt like I’d enjoy doing that too. It scared the crap out of me and sent me going down hill. I don’t know what to think. I’m trying to use ERP, but I just don’t know what to think anymore. Please
@Anonymous It sounds like this is recent, which is a good thing because you can tackle it before it begins to grow stronger. That is your first step. To no allow it to gain strength over you. Unfortunately, the initial ways we go about managing OCD are the exact things that reinforce it and help it build strength. These are the compulsions. What we do to lower the distress from OCD. Personally, I think the best thing you could do is try and be ok with the idea that causes so much fear. Which I’m assuming n your case it would be the idea you may be attracted to the same sex and never knew it. In reality you aren’t attracted to same sex but OCD won’t let you believe that 100% which is what you want. OCD thrives off attention. Any type of attention. So if you’re in your head trying to understand it or figure it out, the only thing you’re really doing is reinforcing the OCD and giving it more power. The only way to beat OCD is to go through it. This means facing what you fear. allowing yourself to feel it, without engaging in compulsions. Having a training ERP Specialist is most helpful
@NOCD Therapist - Rex P. I’m trying to do that - just gets so hard when the feelings feel so genuine and all. I’m scared and worried, but will do my my best. Thank you
@Anonymous Always remember OCD was originally called the doubting disorder because of how much doubt and uncertainty it creates. They are basically the backbone of OCD. The major issue with this is with OCD we look for 100% certainty about something to eliminate the doubt. Well how may things do know with 100% certainty? You will never beat OCD by fighting, resisting, or arguing with it. It’s power comes from the fear you have that it may be right. If you can accept that as a possiblity, not accepting that you want it or that’s who you are, but just accepting that it is there, you can’t force it away, you can’t fight it or run from or deny it. But can can you be ok letting be there in your mind without causing problems? Can you watch and observe it in your mind until it eventually passes. That is successful ERP
@NOCD Therapist - Rex P. I am trying to do that. Sometimes I’m good, sometimes I’m not. At times (like right now) it just feels like denial. But I am working on just living in the moment
@Anonymous That’s the process. No one ever said it was easy. There will be days it’s almost impossible to and days it seems too easy. You will be pushed outside your comfort zone. But consider it like this; would you rather spend a few months doing ERP and experiencing a lot of anxiety and fear in order to get control back and learn to keep it or continue letting OCD have control for possible years of your life?
@NOCD Therapist - Rex P. Sure thing. I’m doing my best, trying to cut the compulsion—mainly research—and sit with everything. But l is just so daunting. At times I don’t know what to trust.
@NOCD Therapist - Rex P. Think what keeps me in the loop is that the feelings feel genuine at times.. I don’t know what to think or feel at times.
But I don’t want this arousal @Rex p I want to feel this about women but I don’t at all
@Anonymous There’s a saying about anxiety my friend, that “if you don’t want it you got it” which basically means the more you push it away, deny it, avoid it and so in, the more of you will experience. Why? Because just like humans, OCD craves attention. Attention to it gives it power. And even though your thinking about how much you don’t want it, you are still feeding it attention
U said that in certain situations which means it’s not common which means it’s a pretty high chance this mental arousal is sexual attraction I get physical arousal but no mental to girls so I’m gay
@Anonymous I wrote a long response to this yesterday and somehow lost it before I could send it. When I have a little more time I will respond again, but one thing to watch for is making assumptions about things you can’t be sure about. Reread your question and see if you can spot the assumptions being made.
Hi Rex please answer my comment can mental arousal be an ocd symptom please answer
@Anonymous Technically no. OCD symptoms are the obsessions and compulsions we engage in. They can how’re be triggers for the symptoms but remember, that means in absolutely o way that they are wanted or perfected. Mental arousal can come about from many things other then sexual attraction. So, just because you may get mentally aroused around the same sex does not mean you are necessarily sexually attracted to them
Please Rex p I have a girlfriend and I don’t feel aeousal for her which I want how do I deal with this I have to break up with her
@Anonymous That is not uncommon with S O OCD. Be positive and have faith you will be best this and if you like her and she’s good, keep her by your side until it does pass
So this mental arousal is there as it’s some level of attraction as I feel it when I see sexual content so it’s sexual attraction
*me not my
U said ocd can cause arousal
😭😭😭😭😭it feels so real
Please Rex p any advice I’m so done with this I imagine a naked man and felt a hornet arousal feeling how is that not proof
@Anonymous If it was proof. 100% proof to you, then way would you continue to feel how you feel? You would have moved beyond needing proof and into acceptance. With OCD there almost never is proof because proof in our mind is 100% only.
Please Rex p
Did u find that article
I haven’t moved on cuz I can’t accept it cuz I’m in denial
I don’t think it’s ocd I think I use ocd as an answer so I don’t accept I’m gay
I saw a picture of a girl in a bikini felt nothing saw a man and felt arousak
I’m looking after my brother and he was wearing just his pants and I felt a mental arousal horny feel now it feels likeI’m in the mood I hate my life
Rex p I thought of men and I felt turned on and I’m at work and I’ve felt aroused all day due to this thought is this normal
I don’t think I’ve ever felt horny for a girl so it’s not ocd at all please answer I’m really upset and scarred
Please Rex p so ur saying this arousla is me and it’s not ocd ?
It’s not ocd causing it is it ? Please I feel it like 400 times a day this mental arousla if u was with gay men I would feel it just by being with them is this normal but then I never felt this way with women being aroused when with them
Should I just accept I am gay
Usually my compulsions are always motivated by fear. I feel like a child when I have compulsions. Like for example, my brain convinces me that someone is in my house and I need to open every cabinet and all the shower curtains, and do tons of other crazy things like march instead of walking so that if someone where to shoot at my legs they'd have less of a chance of hitting me. How do I stop it? I am just going about my day and I can see in my head, myself getting attacked or something and so my only option to calm myself down is to do a bunch of random actions that will keep me "safe". Does anyone else experience this? Or convince themselves that they are under Milo Murphys law? That anything bad that can happen to them will, so they need to never do anything that could result in anything bad, and avoid everything? And how do you convince yourself you're not in danger?
but is it OCD if when i get a thought that makes me anxious i have to hit my head a certain number of times to get it out of my head to relive my brain that everything is fine now (doesn’t always help though). or am i just being dramatic?
Trigger warning So I can’t stop wondering if I was attracted to this kid I saw a few days ago because I felt something that felt like genuine attraction, it made me worried I was a p, so I tried to leave the place immediately. I also had urges to look to check if I was attracted or not and urges to not to look. All of it made me feel like a genuine P. What is all of this I’m doing, are they compulsions? Or are they pr3detory actions?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
