I just watched this internet skit of a girl in her 30s supposedly talking to her 20 year old self. There was a line that the 30 yr old said: “oh right, you think you’re still straight.” Which is implying that you can discover your “true” sexuality way later in life? I thought people who weren’t straight knew that from a young age? I’m very confused
Im confused to
Compulsive heterosexuality can mean people don't discover their sexuality until later in life. Like if you only see opposite sex couples on tv, in movie, in the books you read etc you might not realize its an option. There were no openly queer people in the town I grew up in. That didn't mean the entire town was straight, just that no one was open about it, or just didn't know that about themselves. Like, ok here's an analogy -- before you knew what OCD was, you may not have realized that not everyone had the same struggle as you right? Like you may have thought that you were just bad at handling it. So some people think that everyone else has that same struggle of being straight (aka they aren't straight but have no examples except for straight people so clearly its the "only" option and they're just doing it badly). I'm 27 and only in the past year truly understood and accepted I'm asexual. I'd come across the term and even pondered if it might be what I was. It took me 13 years to accept it. I pretty easily found excuse after excuse for why it couldn't apply to me. I think it might be easier to know yourself now if you live in a more diverse place that's accepting of the LGBTQIA+ community.
@redmuse22 I think what’s more bothersome for people with SOOCD (and perhaps what the op is referring to) is the fact that before, during and years after puberty they were consistently attracted to a certain sex without reservations or confusion. However, if sexual fluidity is real, it’s still possible for a person’s sexuality to change later on despite their attraction history and this is what bothers people with Soocd.
@Anonym0us I get that. I read the OP as having a general ignorance around the lgbt community if they can't understand why people come out later in life. Regardless, accepting uncertainty is the answer.
@redmuse22 In defense of op, I don’t think we still know scientifically why some humans do come out later in life, I.e why did their sexual orientation seemingly change. And yes, at the end of the day, for us ocd suffers, we must accept uncertainty.
@redmuse22 Yeah no I was definitely asking a question more in line with what @Anonym0us said—that sexual fluidity can be a super scary concept for SOOCD sufferers. Like I said, the video implied that someone can discover their “true” sexuality after their 20s which is way later than in puberty. But I suppose there’s all sorts of nuances within the realm of sexuality, which can make definitely make it feel scarier for people with OCD but I would imagine easier for people who legitimately are confused about who/what they’re attracted to.
@Anonym0us Right, honestly I would love a good explanation for this sexual fluidity idea since it seems so new & progressive and honestly whenever I’ve brought it up within the OCD community, no one seems willing to talk about it. It also seems to possibly support the infamous, outdated stance that “homosexuality is a choice”, which confuses me even more (sorry if that sounds super ignorant)
@yun444g Yeah, in my cursory review of the scientific literature (which means I I read like a few papers from one famous researcher lol) there is some reason to believe that we can shape the sexual behavior (and perhaps sexual attraction) of people. This is a possible explanation for why straight women are uniquely responsive to sexual stimuli that doesn’t match with their perceived attraction.
@yun444g To be clear, because our society sexualizes women more than men and because women grow up and live in such an environment, society might actually be shaping the sexual attraction of women.
Sort of a rant that probably sounds stupid and I’m kind of seeking reassurance… I’m still a relatively young teenager so I know I’ve got time to work all this out but I’m really confused about my sexuality. (I’m a girl) I’ve never been in a relationship (I don’t know if I want to be which is why I’m writing this) and sometimes I feel like I’ve never really had a crush and I just convinced myself that I did because I wanted to feel normal… but then maybe that’s false memory ocd??? I don’t really want to be in a long term relationship with a guy and idk about girls but idk if that’s just cos of my age??? Some days I hate the idea of ever dating, marrying or doing anything sexual. Other days I wish my mental / physical health was better so I could date someone! Everything I feel goes up and down a lot and idk why!? I have bad sexual intrusive thoughts that make me unsure whether anything that I think is real and my parents recently split up after not getting along for a few years. I don’t know if it’s my age, my ocd, my parents bad relationship, my sexuality (am I attracted to guys, girls? Am I ace!!!!???) Or something else but I have no idea who I am and I KNOW I’m young and have time but some other perspectives might help???? Can I ever be in a relationship if I have ocd like this? Also I’m really struggling not to compulsively seek reassurance and I don’t know who to talk to about all this irl I know I probably shouldn’t share this with random strangers but also idek if I care anymore 😭
I watched the trailer for the movie “Am I Ok?” and got completely triggered. Basically a 32 yo woman discovers she’s a lesbian seemingly out of nowhere. I was triggers and did some research (bad idea) and apparently some people who are gay have never had romantic or sexual interest in people of the same sex until one spontaneous moment of discovery. Now I’m worried that this could be me!! I’ve never had a long term relationship, have had crushes and fantasies but back out when things get too close for me. I do prefer my little fantasy world guy but now I’m wondering if maybe I missed something and am in denial, even if I didn’t know it.
I keep seeing tiktoks of things that are like ‘things I did as a lesbian in denial’ or ‘things my not so straight straight friend said’ and I feel like I might relate to some!! But idk!! It’s kinda triggering me. I’ve had this 5 years on and off now so when it comes back the whole well you’ve had it so long you must be gay comes up. I have been with my boyfriend almost 6 years and i love him so much I don’t want to be gay (nothing weong with it - I’m just not and don’t want to be!)
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