- Username
- slothlover
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Sit with the feelings don’t seek reassurance , I know what you want to hear, “ you love your boyfriend the thoughts are just OCD and he is not cringey.” Truth is a relationship needs to be worked on in order to be sustained , and you will find problems will arise in any relationship you are in. Successful long term relationships learn to mend the differences and work around them not against them. Unfortunately in today’s society we have a selfish culture centred on our own interests and as a result most marriages end in divorce and people are replaced quickly. People are not interested in wanting to truly love and understand one another , they’re simply addicted to the ‘high’ of infatuation and lust they get from the other person in the beginning stages of the relationship and once that high disappears they move on to who ever else can give them that high. They mistake lust for love and as a result they never settle down , they end up regretting this as they get a bit older and it becomes increasingly difficult to get married and have children. Marriage and ‘settling’ is not a bad thing, contrary to what modern culture makes us believe. People are so interested in being free and independent they’ve forgotten the value of loving relationships and what a special thing it is to be married and committed to one person and to grow in love . This may sound very ‘old fashioned’ but if you look at the number of people facing mental health issues in our generation it’s not difficult to see that our generation’s mindset is not benefiting out well being. To come back to your point, OCD will of course make your concern much more worrying to you, you may obsess unnecessarily about it and it will cause you unnecessary amounts of anxiety and over thinking . But in a relationship there will be good times and also bad times , you don’t need to find your partner ‘ perfect ‘ all the time to be in a healthy loving relationship. In fact I’d say that the people who think their partners are perfect are the ones in a more concerning relationship as they are obviously not seeing they’re partner in a realistic light and are in love with the idea of being in love and the fantasy they have created in their mind. So don’t feel guilty for experiencing negativity in your relationship , it’s good for there to be points to work on in your relationship it will help you both to grow together :)
You are wisdom
@Firebird And you ^^👌
@Tillyyyx 🫂 So happy to have read this. I feel like I physically released my mind. I dreamed and I hadn't done that in awhile.
@Firebird It’s okay I’m with you in spirit 🤝 I know how difficult this is and how our minds will come up with any way to stop us creating true love because its also a painful and vulnerable choice to make but it’s all in the mindset x
Sometimes growing with your partner doesn't align. It does suck but with communication perhaps you can level with him about goals and never expectations, whoever goals are achievable from any level of the game. An ant hill doesn't get built by the queen although she is a major factor it's the other lesser ants that come together to built around her. Hang in there. I'm not the best at explaining. Ask me anything.
@Telecommunications Do you mean to say it could be true that we are outgrowing each other
@Telecommunications I don’t want to have these thoughts
@slothlover I understand we are all in the same boat in the sense that we are always analyzing everything. I mean to say that even if your partner doesn't go at your pace doesn't make him a valuable support system and valued partner. Be wary of placing expectations on others but having goals is fine. Goals are communication, expectations are demands and abuse. Oppression it's a byproduct of OCD because we seek to control that around us and sometimes others.
@Pinkie Do you mean that even if he doesn’t go at my pace that doesn’t make him not valuable? I wasn’t sure if that was a typo or if ur saying him not going at my pace means we’re not good for each other
@slothlover Sorry I'm on break now. Yes he IS a valuable support system in your life. We can not expect others to reciprocate if we force things it won't be true. With OCD your battling multiple theories but in reality there is a person in front of you with thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are separate from your own. We all operate on a certain level of ignorance and sometimes we have to be redirected. I don't know what your bf did but I would communicate your thoughts on the moment and just leave it at that. Backsliding happens so be sure to give a gentle reminder because it's likely to pop up again.
I just went through this and my ROCD made it a huge deal when she was using “BBG 🤪🤭” and stuff like that. She was joking ofc but that couldn’t help what my ocd was latching onto. If it was right when we got together, I could’ve handled it far far better and I would’ve found it Funny but i simply couldn’t for the majority right now. I think that’s close enough to relate to your situation but the best thing to do is to keep pushing in the relationship, and let him know about your current thoughts and feelings about his cringey actions. I hope this helps!
I just started dating this guy not too many months ago. he is everything i ever wanted and he treats me right. but now my OCD intrusive thoughts are creeping back in. ones like “do i love him/like him” and like “i have to tell him im having these horrible OCD thoughts or we will never know how i truly feel.” but i know i love/like him. And sometimes I’ll be having a good day and then BAM, the thoughts smack me in the face and i get stuck in an anxious loop and it ruins my mood. how can i break this compulsion without feeling so anxious and do i tell him i’m having these thoughts to relieve the anxiety?
I think I did something I shouldnt have... I reasearched comphet on tiktok and saw a video of a girl explaining how she realised that first she wasnt bi and then she was a lesbian. She was talking all about how when she was with men she was craving "male validation" and wasnt actually attracted to men and that she confused platonnic and romantic love. and that whe she really thought about she realised that she loved being loved and desired by men but that she didnt specifically like men or wasnt attracted to men. She just found them attractive and was not attracted. And that when she broke up with her bf and stop dating man she realised how much more she could feel and how thinking about men gave her the ic. And I real all the comments and everyone was like omg omg omg. Anyways im sooo triggered because I feel like I could relate on some level. Im not sure if I like my bf for who he is or that i love how he loves me. And at first I used to calm my OCD by saying noo noo I love how he loves me but if I imagine breaking up with him it feels like it will be my last time with a men... what is happenning!!!
Hello, I recently discovered I may have relationship OCD. I haven’t been formally diagnosed yet but I started experiencing thoughts like “I don’t really love him” or “I’m gonna break up with him”, and sometimes even thoughts that he doesn’t love me or he’s gonna leave me. This all started when I got a text from a former partner, and it was very surprising. I thought since it affected me so much that it meant I still loved him and that I didn’t love my current boyfriend. Before this event, I struggled with intrusive thoughts and compulsions but never about relationships and I didn’t think I had OCD. I wasn’t experiencing any of these specific thoughts before I got that text, and it’s really scary and I’m afraid my thoughts are true. I really do love my boyfriend but these thoughts are really making me depressed.
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