slothlover
- Date posted
- 2y
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 2y
Sit with the feelings don’t seek reassurance , I know what you want to hear, “ you love your boyfriend the thoughts are just OCD and he is not cringey.” Truth is a relationship needs to be worked on in order to be sustained , and you will find problems will arise in any relationship you are in. Successful long term relationships learn to mend the differences and work around them not against them. Unfortunately in today’s society we have a selfish culture centred on our own interests and as a result most marriages end in divorce and people are replaced quickly. People are not interested in wanting to truly love and understand one another , they’re simply addicted to the ‘high’ of infatuation and lust they get from the other person in the beginning stages of the relationship and once that high disappears they move on to who ever else can give them that high. They mistake lust for love and as a result they never settle down , they end up regretting this as they get a bit older and it becomes increasingly difficult to get married and have children. Marriage and ‘settling’ is not a bad thing, contrary to what modern culture makes us believe. People are so interested in being free and independent they’ve forgotten the value of loving relationships and what a special thing it is to be married and committed to one person and to grow in love . This may sound very ‘old fashioned’ but if you look at the number of people facing mental health issues in our generation it’s not difficult to see that our generation’s mindset is not benefiting out well being. To come back to your point, OCD will of course make your concern much more worrying to you, you may obsess unnecessarily about it and it will cause you unnecessary amounts of anxiety and over thinking . But in a relationship there will be good times and also bad times , you don’t need to find your partner ‘ perfect ‘ all the time to be in a healthy loving relationship. In fact I’d say that the people who think their partners are perfect are the ones in a more concerning relationship as they are obviously not seeing they’re partner in a realistic light and are in love with the idea of being in love and the fantasy they have created in their mind. So don’t feel guilty for experiencing negativity in your relationship , it’s good for there to be points to work on in your relationship it will help you both to grow together :)
LocnaLocna
- Date posted
- 2y
You are wisdom
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 2y
@Firebird And you ^^👌
LocnaLocna
- Date posted
- 2y
@Tillyyyx 🫂 So happy to have read this. I feel like I physically released my mind. I dreamed and I hadn't done that in awhile.
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 2y
@Firebird It’s okay I’m with you in spirit 🤝 I know how difficult this is and how our minds will come up with any way to stop us creating true love because its also a painful and vulnerable choice to make but it’s all in the mindset x
LocnaLocna
- Date posted
- 2y
Sometimes growing with your partner doesn't align. It does suck but with communication perhaps you can level with him about goals and never expectations, whoever goals are achievable from any level of the game. An ant hill doesn't get built by the queen although she is a major factor it's the other lesser ants that come together to built around her. Hang in there. I'm not the best at explaining. Ask me anything.
slothloverslothlover
- Date posted
- 2y
@Telecommunications Do you mean to say it could be true that we are outgrowing each other
slothloverslothlover
- Date posted
- 2y
@Telecommunications I don’t want to have these thoughts
LocnaLocna
- Date posted
- 2y
@slothlover I understand we are all in the same boat in the sense that we are always analyzing everything. I mean to say that even if your partner doesn't go at your pace doesn't make him a valuable support system and valued partner. Be wary of placing expectations on others but having goals is fine. Goals are communication, expectations are demands and abuse. Oppression it's a byproduct of OCD because we seek to control that around us and sometimes others.
slothloverslothlover
- Date posted
- 2y
@Pinkie Do you mean that even if he doesn’t go at my pace that doesn’t make him not valuable? I wasn’t sure if that was a typo or if ur saying him not going at my pace means we’re not good for each other
LocnaLocna
- Date posted
- 2y
@slothlover Sorry I'm on break now. Yes he IS a valuable support system in your life. We can not expect others to reciprocate if we force things it won't be true. With OCD your battling multiple theories but in reality there is a person in front of you with thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are separate from your own. We all operate on a certain level of ignorance and sometimes we have to be redirected. I don't know what your bf did but I would communicate your thoughts on the moment and just leave it at that. Backsliding happens so be sure to give a gentle reminder because it's likely to pop up again.
Th3_Scribbl3zTh3_Scribbl3z
- Date posted
- 2y
I just went through this and my ROCD made it a huge deal when she was using “BBG 🤪🤭” and stuff like that. She was joking ofc but that couldn’t help what my ocd was latching onto. If it was right when we got together, I could’ve handled it far far better and I would’ve found it Funny but i simply couldn’t for the majority right now. I think that’s close enough to relate to your situation but the best thing to do is to keep pushing in the relationship, and let him know about your current thoughts and feelings about his cringey actions. I hope this helps!
Related posts
Anonymous
- Date posted
- 24w
feeling like the relationship is tainted
i’m anxious because after my boyfriend and i got in a argument i was “daydreaming” or thinking about what it would be like dating someone else who was more “right for me” and what if i was excited about that possibility like i had already moved on from my boyfriend. but when i really think about it i don’t want to be without him and don’t want to picture us breaking up. i know i love him but those other thoughts scared me and im now questioning if they mean im falling out of love with him. and if that’s the case i feel like i need to confess that. but at the same time these thoughts could be ocd because the “daydreaming” started after we had been getting in arguments a lot and then i kept seeing other couples interact online and i compare my relationship to that. but then when i think about my own relationship i have everything i want and am being treated how i want to be treated. i’m just scared that because i have had those thoughts about being with someone else that i need to break up him because our relationship is tainted now and i need to start over and do everything perfectly. i think these thoughts are triggered my us fighting and him not fully understanding my rocd and me looking at relationships where the boyfriend understands the girlfriends ocd and supports her and wanting my relationship to me more like that. which logically i know doesn’t mean we have to break up and i need to start over. i can just bring up this issue and communicate what i want and how i want to be supported. i just feel like i need to confess all these thoughts and that i “daydreamed” about being with someone else (no one in particular) and how im now focused on his flaws in comparison to couples online.
user36373738
- Date posted
- 13w
Has anyone felt
I’m really anxious because I know my ocd is really bad right now so I shouldn’t try to figure it out cause my thinking is a mess but I’ve been having feelings of like I’m not sure if I love him anymore or worrying that I haven’t felt a lot like numb (a lot because ocd has been getting worse and worse) and thinking of like how I’ve been focusing on the negatives and only been looking at him through that lens and analyzing and also feeling like I don’t want this anymore. Basically just like negative thinking in feeling like I’m really scared it’s that it’s I don’t love him cause I don’t want it to be over and the thought of having someone replace him makes me ill. But like it feels like I’m not seeing him how I used to and it makes me upset. Today I was near someone I was like oh this person is cute and then I was thinking that the possibility of meeting someone new sounds exciting and now I’m freaking out because this in combination with feeling like maybe I don’t love him anymore is bad. Also my thoughts keep changing. and like sometimes it feels like I don’t care at all and this has happened but like worst it’s ever been and then other times I’m like I do care I do still feel. I’m just really anxious has anyone else felt this before and it was still ocd? 😭😭
user36373738
- Date posted
- 12w
Is this relatable pls help
Do you ever feel like you wonder if your ocd would be less if you were with someone else? Or would it be better if you were with someone else? I’m really upset because I used to be able to enjoy myself even with the anxiety and now it’s like i am just analyzing and I don’t have feelings and I’m irritated because there’s things that frustrate me about him that I don’t like and my brain says if I was with someone else I would be able to deal with those things better and that we just aren’t right for each other. And the thoughts that used to make me anxious about breaking up don’t like it’s really me that feels it. I know no relationship is perfect but it’s like my brain keeps saying with someone else I wouldn’t feel like this or I would but I’d be able to handle it better. It feels like I have to just start fresh with someone new cause the ocd got too into this to the point where I don’t feel or even know what’s real. It feels like fear and anxiety and just being so into this has just made me feel not into this anymore but idk if I’m thinking right. It’s also just warped the way I see him like I only see the negatives and my brain keeps saying you don’t feel this cause it’s wrong. And it’s depressing bc of how happy and safe I used to feel. I’m supposed to see him soon and it’s like I want to but also don’t because I feel like things have changed unless that’s just something I made in my head and cause I don’t feel the feelings I used to. But then I think I will just be this way with someone else but then my brain says otherwise and it’s so confusing. People keep telling me not to make decisions because I’m fogged but it feels like I’m not. Like my brain is manipulating me. And also like all the things I used to like I’ve somehow turned into like distaste which is so upsetting. I would like to think this is just ocd taking control and confusing me and distorting my perspective but I’m scared it’s not and that my feelings are gone. Has anyone experienced this but it was still ocd?
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