- Date posted
- 2y ago
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Sit with the feelings don’t seek reassurance , I know what you want to hear, “ you love your boyfriend the thoughts are just OCD and he is not cringey.” Truth is a relationship needs to be worked on in order to be sustained , and you will find problems will arise in any relationship you are in. Successful long term relationships learn to mend the differences and work around them not against them. Unfortunately in today’s society we have a selfish culture centred on our own interests and as a result most marriages end in divorce and people are replaced quickly. People are not interested in wanting to truly love and understand one another , they’re simply addicted to the ‘high’ of infatuation and lust they get from the other person in the beginning stages of the relationship and once that high disappears they move on to who ever else can give them that high. They mistake lust for love and as a result they never settle down , they end up regretting this as they get a bit older and it becomes increasingly difficult to get married and have children. Marriage and ‘settling’ is not a bad thing, contrary to what modern culture makes us believe. People are so interested in being free and independent they’ve forgotten the value of loving relationships and what a special thing it is to be married and committed to one person and to grow in love . This may sound very ‘old fashioned’ but if you look at the number of people facing mental health issues in our generation it’s not difficult to see that our generation’s mindset is not benefiting out well being. To come back to your point, OCD will of course make your concern much more worrying to you, you may obsess unnecessarily about it and it will cause you unnecessary amounts of anxiety and over thinking . But in a relationship there will be good times and also bad times , you don’t need to find your partner ‘ perfect ‘ all the time to be in a healthy loving relationship. In fact I’d say that the people who think their partners are perfect are the ones in a more concerning relationship as they are obviously not seeing they’re partner in a realistic light and are in love with the idea of being in love and the fantasy they have created in their mind. So don’t feel guilty for experiencing negativity in your relationship , it’s good for there to be points to work on in your relationship it will help you both to grow together :)
- Date posted
- 2y ago
You are wisdom
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Firebird And you ^^👌
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Tillyyyx 🫂 So happy to have read this. I feel like I physically released my mind. I dreamed and I hadn't done that in awhile.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Firebird It’s okay I’m with you in spirit 🤝 I know how difficult this is and how our minds will come up with any way to stop us creating true love because its also a painful and vulnerable choice to make but it’s all in the mindset x
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Sometimes growing with your partner doesn't align. It does suck but with communication perhaps you can level with him about goals and never expectations, whoever goals are achievable from any level of the game. An ant hill doesn't get built by the queen although she is a major factor it's the other lesser ants that come together to built around her. Hang in there. I'm not the best at explaining. Ask me anything.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Telecommunications Do you mean to say it could be true that we are outgrowing each other
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Telecommunications I don’t want to have these thoughts
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@slothlover I understand we are all in the same boat in the sense that we are always analyzing everything. I mean to say that even if your partner doesn't go at your pace doesn't make him a valuable support system and valued partner. Be wary of placing expectations on others but having goals is fine. Goals are communication, expectations are demands and abuse. Oppression it's a byproduct of OCD because we seek to control that around us and sometimes others.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Pinkie Do you mean that even if he doesn’t go at my pace that doesn’t make him not valuable? I wasn’t sure if that was a typo or if ur saying him not going at my pace means we’re not good for each other
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@slothlover Sorry I'm on break now. Yes he IS a valuable support system in your life. We can not expect others to reciprocate if we force things it won't be true. With OCD your battling multiple theories but in reality there is a person in front of you with thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are separate from your own. We all operate on a certain level of ignorance and sometimes we have to be redirected. I don't know what your bf did but I would communicate your thoughts on the moment and just leave it at that. Backsliding happens so be sure to give a gentle reminder because it's likely to pop up again.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I just went through this and my ROCD made it a huge deal when she was using “BBG 🤪🤭” and stuff like that. She was joking ofc but that couldn’t help what my ocd was latching onto. If it was right when we got together, I could’ve handled it far far better and I would’ve found it Funny but i simply couldn’t for the majority right now. I think that’s close enough to relate to your situation but the best thing to do is to keep pushing in the relationship, and let him know about your current thoughts and feelings about his cringey actions. I hope this helps!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
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- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 11w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
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- Relationship OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 10w ago
Really struggling today so far. I have partner-focused ROCD so I’m constantly picking apart my partner and looking for warning signs that he doesn’t love me enough and doesn’t want to be with me or care for me. Valentine’s Day is really hard for me because it’s not a huge holiday for the two of us but of course my ROCD takes it and runs with it. It tells me that he doesn’t love me, things won’t get better, he doesn’t care, he’s lazy, he’s the worst boyfriend, etc. This sucks so much because I just want to accept the fact that my brain wants to tell me these things…it is just so hard!!! :(
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