syl47

Date posted: 2y

please read i need advice

I've had hocd for 6–7 months now, it started at my school when all of a sudden my brain 'fixed' on a girl in my class (very masculine) at first I was scared that she is a lesbian and interested in me and me by her, I was extremely anxious (vomiting, bad sleep, weight loss ..) then I discovered what was hocd and that relieved me but I reassure myself too much.. after i test myself on all the girls, I had several phases of ups and downs.. but this girl at school I see her every day and it triggers me, which makes the thought even more real! it's been 3 months since I was out of school (internship + vacation) so much less thought about her and hocd in general ( but always present in backround) and now that it's my return here we go again.. I'm really afraid that this is a real attraction and not hocd but on the other hand I'm just fear in me and in the end I test myself to see if i like her constantly, but the fact that from the beginning it's been on her scares me a lot and tells me that it may not be hocd

Sexual Orientation OCD

AdolfoK23

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I’m going through the same thing for my boss. He’s a gay man, before all this happened I was happy cheerful going to the gym and taking care of myself to get a girl then married. Then all of a sudden I noticed him and my world flipped upside down. I have doubts wether I am straight or not in my mind I know I am not but the anxiety mixed with the thoughts make it seem real. Even if we where to admit that we are homosexual/lesbian it wouldn’t stop the thoughts and doubts. It’s not in our nature. It was literally overnight when it happened to me. You can’t let fear rule you. I had the opportunities to leave and not come back but that’s just giving in to the fear. I’m praying for all of you that are going thru this.

syl47

Date posted: 2y

@AdolfoK23 thank you for your testimony it reassures me, when I don't see this girl it reassures me and I feel better but how do you manage when you are confronted? because for me it's very difficult my brain tells me what I like ect..

mina(:

Date posted: 2y

i had this a few years ago. the best thing i ever did for myself was know that i’d love myself through it no matter what. the thoughts don’t define you and the more you feed into the ocd and the more compulsions you take place in the more hungry it will be for your attention constantly. breathe. the ocd wants you to admit your uncertainty about yourself just tell it you love yourself regardless

jzepedaa7

Date posted: 2y

Stop seeking reassurance if it scares you it’s not real gay people are more scared of the thought of how they will be perceived by the public instead of there thoughts they enjoy there thoughts

blazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@jzepedaa7 Exactly! For me personally, I’m not worried about what other people would think if I were gay. I’m worried about being gay because I don’t want to lose my identity.

jzepedaa7

Date posted: 2y

@blazed Trust me same it got to the point where I rather be gay then be unhappy and that still didn’t feel right for me

jzepedaa7

Date posted: 2y

@blazed Thought about “coming out “ but it didn’t feel right either deep down I’m like I’m not gay though I don’t see what the point in coming out is

blazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@jzepedaa7 Same! No matter what label I give myself nothing feels right. It’s just OCD trying to convince us we’re gay. Mine switched overnight which makes no sense.

jzepedaa7

Date posted: 2y

@blazed So for me I dealt with it for around 4-5 years not knowing what I had and I feel like that’s what made my intrusive thoughts even worse / when I found out HOCD I had every symptom but my mind was so damaged by the yeaes of obsessing that I had to learn how to rethink which sucks but it’s CBT. Your brain from so many hours of obsessing has created different pathways Or obessions that’s form there own life .

jzepedaa7

Date posted: 2y

@jzepedaa7 Some advice I got for you is follow your heart . I actually have a girlfriend who I told about my HOCD because I was getting intrusive thoughts around her and was fearing that I didn’t want to be with her when there’s your last bit of real conscious in there telling you you really like her and want to be with her

jzepedaa7

Date posted: 2y

@jzepedaa7 Not for reassurance as I feel like I’m even writing for reassurance but the tho thoughts aren’t real

blazed

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@jzepedaa7 That’s so true, after obsessing for so long it becomes so hard to rewire your brain. I’m glad you found someone who understands you though. Have you recovered from HOCD or are you in the recovery process?

jzepedaa7

Date posted: 2y

@blazed Definitely in recovery lol

jzepedaa7

Date posted: 2y

That first trigger started your spiral and your brain can make you believe all sort of things are real it’s very powerful and when we suffer from OCD it’s hard to let go of that thought

anonymous1348

Date posted: 23w

hocd

straight girl suffering from hocd, okay so when i was younger i looked at like a girl corn star insta for like 2 weeks and like did get aroused by it, didn’t think much of it still fancied boys, girls were like ew no to me, but its triggering my hocd so badly, like is it normal that i could look at a sexy pic of a girl n get aroused by it, but like a shirtless pic of a boy i wouldn’t, however i have insane attraction to men irl, i love my boyfriend, i love the idea of being with a man and hate the idea of being with a woman, this really freaking me out!

Sexual Orientation OCD

youllwintheb...

Date posted: 7w

hocd

I feel like I'm lying to myself, like I just don't accept that I'm gay, I don't want to be gay, I don't want to feel any kind of attraction anymore, I want to go to a psychologist to find out if I really have hocd or if it's just an excuse, because it feels like I really am gay, but nothing was authentic, it all started with thoughts that made me panic extremely hard and I felt like crying and I had delusions, I don't understand why this is happening to me, I didn't like any boys before the thoughts appeared, but exactly one day after they appeared, all the boys were attractive, of all ages, I want to recover :( I'm only 17 years old, for about 2 months I've been having thoughts, I don't know what to do, I can't go to a psychologist, I need help :(

Mimo116

Date posted: 5w

I have HOCD,pls answer and share your opinion

I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

please read i need advice

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community