- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
That's the trap of ROCD - It needs proof that you feel what you feel, but it's very presence makes you unable to feel anything but the anxiety it brings, which makes you more anxious, and on and on ..... The truth is, you can't call up feelings on command and you certainly can't use feeling something as a way of fighting OCD, it'll only get worse. And none of what you're going through has anything to do with what you actually feel. You know what's really in your heart, you're simply stuck in an OCD spiral, that's all. And you're not alone with the sleep issue. It's a tough one and absolutely doesn't help matters. All is well.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bugsy definitely! i plan to research therapy near by because i don’t think i can do it by myself anymore😭
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
And that's the thing about OCD, it mutes your actual feelings which feeds the OCD, which feeds the anxiety which mutes your feelings, etc. etc. etc...... You're not alone in dealing with the lack of sleep. It's not uncommon with this "thinking disorder". What you're going through has absolutely nothing to do with what you actually feel. The crux of your recovery will be when you can say, "maybe I feel something, maybe I don't. I don't need to know right now so I'll move on with what I'm doing."
- Date posted
- 3y
Iv been going through the same thing. I just got back from a small trip with my boyfriend and the lack of sleep really got to me. A week prior I felt like things were going back to normal , I was slowly feeling something again. But this week I feel drained. Struggling to feel something for my boyfriend. The whole trip I was anxious and having intrusive thoughts. I didn’t even enjoy the trip . Like I just wanna give up but thinking about giving up Hurts. I don’t feel like myself and I don’t have any positive thoughts. I’m exhausted:/
- Date posted
- 3y
@Yali<3 it scares me sometimes because i’m like what if it’s for the best and i don’t feel anxious sometimes for some thoughts and that scares me so much. i just don’t feel the same and it’s exhausting especially when i find new things out ab ocd over and over agaun
- Date posted
- 3y
@an0nym0us I hear you ….some days I go without feeling anxious and then my head tells me that it must be true that I don’t wanna be with my partner anymore. And then it starts all over again. Lately Iv been loosing hope. Like even though I know that rocd is real my head tells me it doesn’t exist. It’s exhausting like you said and I wanna give up but I know my life wouldn’t be the same without my partner. I would be heart broken. I’m glad I’m able to talk about these things on here and can relate. No one in my family or even my partner knows that I’m going through this
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Yali<3 To an0nym0us and Yali<3, ROCD and OCD in general works by tricking you into believing that what you're feeling is genuine emotion. It's not, it's fear, nothing else. You're going to get yourself out of this, just stay committed to it. Ultimately, the goal is to become comfortable with uncertainty. It's not easy, but you are both strong enough to get to that point. Keep looking into the app, there are many things on here.
- Date posted
- 2y
@Yali<3 definitely! i used to can tell myself that it’s all fake but it’s just the new feeling of numbness scaring me yk? this app makes me feel safe because it’s easy to talk on here :’)
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Have you consulted with NOCD yet? I do ERP therapy with a NOCD therapist and it's making a difference. Whatever route you go, please see a therapist who specializes in OCD and ERP. I did many years with a traditional cognitive "talk" therapist and got worse. Airing my fears and grievances to them turned out to be nothing more than performing compulsions and they didn't understand OCD enough to know any better.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Bugsy nocd doesn’t accept my insurance :(
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@an0nym0us I'm sorry! Did you talk with someone from NOCD on the phone? They may be able to give you some good advice for finding someone in your area. Plus, the app can still be a good resource for you. They truly are dedicated to helping people with OCD.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@an0nym0us I'm glad you have insurance and recognize that you can't do this alone anymore. I hope you find a good OCD therapist in your area. Until then, if you sleep, you sleep. If you don't, you don't. I still tell myself this. You can handle discomfort; you can handle uncertainty. ROCD is not your truth.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
hi! I broke a short period of doing well without compulsions because I got triggered again. Before this, I had about two calmer days where I didn’t spiral so much, but now everything feels worse. I’m scared that I don’t love my boyfriend as much as I used to, or that this relationship is making me feel stuck or sad. He’s a wonderful person, and I hate thinking this way. I smelled a perfume that used to make me feel calm and in love, and now it just makes me question everything. I spent hours last night searching Reddit, especially on r/ROCD, trying to see if someone is like me or if anyone has answers. I keep rereading posts, hoping I’ll feel certain about what I should do. But I just feel more confused. I keep thinking, “What if I heal and then realize I don’t love him?” or “What if I’m only staying because I feel safe with him or I’m used to him?” I feel numb sometimes, or like I’m pretending, and I hate it. I want to feel love and clarity again. I don’t know what’s real or what’s ROCD anymore. I just feel lost and afraid. I talk to hi. now and i feel so strange like i dont want to force myself i want to like him i dont understand what i feel i feel so weird in my chest
- Date posted
- 16w
I know everyone has negatives but it’s like they’re the only thing I see with him. Even when I was anxious and felt like this I was still able to enjoy the good moments and feel love. There was so much about him that I would love like we are literally the same person and that is so rare to find. Now over time it’s gotten worse and worse. Like the more I see the bad the more I convince myself. Partly cause when I was with him those times I was analyzing everything that was bad. And my brain kept saying you can’t end up with someone like this. And it’s become so real. Now I feel nothing and it’s so scary like nothing at all. I feel like it’s my mind trying to protect me because I keep thinking that if I leave I can have relief and also not worry anymore but I don’t think that’s what I really want. It’s just hard because the negatives are definitely something that scare me like being irritable and hard to talk things out so I think somehow something is blocking me from letting me feel cause I’m afraid to stay? This sucks I don’t want to feel like this about him has anyone gone through this???? If I’m so anxious to feel will I ever let myself feel again???
- Date posted
- 16w
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
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