- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Hummm... I don't know well how to help or start but I will try. First of all, I don't experience OCD by myself so I don't know how feels and functions all of it perfectly, I kinda know a good amount, maybe more than the average, but again, I'm not a professional or know it by myself. I got diagnosed few time ago with GAD and I have some expressions of my anxiety reflected in some obsessive characteristics, more likable as the compulsions of OCD, so I thought entering here could be helpful :) (but I'm also in therapy!). But what I'm trying to tell here is that by bringing my experience I don't want to interference with your obsessions, therapy or recovery, so please acknowledge this. Well, first, how older are you? I'm currently 19, soon 20, but I started questioning my sexuality at 17, and realized I was asexual at early 18 yo. I didn't have relationships experiences before or with kissing or sex and I think that was actually better for me because it let me question what I feel without questioning if something could've interfere it. It felt a lot more free. Also, knowing I am asexual was quite a relief to me because it let me understand a lot of things that I didn't understand before. Well, something useful for understanding this is that: - attraction ≠ action. so, if you feel attraction or not that shouldn't interfere with what you do, you can have sex and be asexual! it sounds quite crazy but actually it's pretty common :) - also, being asexual is different than being aromantic. asexuality is the lack of attraction towards sex with someone, everything that involves something sexual with someone. being aromantic is the lack of romantic attraction towards someone. you can even think that romance and a significant other is awesome and want it and still being aromantic! - sexuality it's a spectrum, it's not black and white. there's also a spectrum between being "sexual" (allosexual actually) and being asexual. for example, if you feel sexual attraction sometimes, or very little, or in weirdly specific situations or towards few persons in your life, chances are that you could be in the gray area of the spectrum. similar happens with being aromantic. - it's okay if you make mistakes. there's nothing wrong with having a tag that functions for yourself and then funding out that you were wrong; it happens, you don't harm anyone by mistaking it. - use what works better for you. as i said, "feelings before tags"; if tagging yourself as asexual helps you feeling better and understanding better you, then use it! if you find it caging and feel better without it, that's fine as well! if you are still confused and doesn't want to tag yourself you could think of "questioning" or not having a tag and it's perfectly fine, a lot of people do it. - sexuality is fluid, so it can change. so there's no problem with changing it (what I said before haha) - thinking yourself as asexual or not doesn't change what your future will be, you just understand yourself better and that, there's no consequences with it (search the song: "For me - Dearlie" in youtube if it helps you :) )
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks so much! I don’t really think I’m asexual because I think about sex at least once a week and I do want to be in a relationship! Today I went to the grocery-store and I saw a really cute cashier and he liked me and all I did was get happy no weird feeling! And I can’t really relate to that song it’s a really good song though!
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes plz help
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes it exactly like “are you sure you sure you want a boyfriend maybe you don’t want one” and it’s kinda the them of ocd I really want a boyfriend but I just can’t imagine having one maybe it’s because I’m on the theme of asexual ocd or am I really asexual
- Date posted
- 6y
But here is the thing I don’t think I’m asexual because when I get a little older I really do want sex
- Date posted
- 6y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 3y
@idont241 me too omg. It feel so horrible like I just wanna be normal and have a boyfriend but then apart of me just freaks out and gets anxiety every time I’d think of boys. Like I’d date a man but not a boy but then o don’t wanna wait till I’m 30 to have my firts ever relationship
- Date posted
- 6y
Same but like it feels forced like ocd forced and It is now just no one I picture or it’s a girl it use to be a boy
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm happy that it helped you!! And that you heard the song, it's quite nice tbh! Well, I can say that I don't think about sex (in absolutely) but I kinda want to be in a relationship, just without sex involving it. And I didn't get the weird feeling? If it's something that you thought we feel or something that you felt before for you? idk Anyways, I'm happy that I could help something, and hope you feel better with yourself by finding that advice ☺️; it doesn't matter if you aren't asexual, at least I could help and bring also a bit of asexual awareness which is quite nice ;)
- Date posted
- 6y
That great! With my hocd my sex drive has been lost but it’s starting to come back and I definitely do want sex one day and I tbh like I said once a week or every 2
- Date posted
- 6y
Hehe hi, I'm actually asexual and could help with it (but would I trigger or increase your obsessions with it? Anyways, about sexuality it's not good to pressure yourself tagging you. Have this advice: "First goes feelings, then tags" :)
- Date posted
- 6y
Right!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
So I identify as a lesbian and I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful girl. But i’m stressing that I have crushes on boys I go to school with. I get anxious around them, which I think I mistake for excitement. I obsess over it in my head which confuses me a lot. Idk I also never think about them sexually or romantically but I think about them often which is scaring me. Any advice?
- Date posted
- 22w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
- Date posted
- 19w
Sort of a rant that probably sounds stupid and I’m kind of seeking reassurance… I’m still a relatively young teenager so I know I’ve got time to work all this out but I’m really confused about my sexuality. (I’m a girl) I’ve never been in a relationship (I don’t know if I want to be which is why I’m writing this) and sometimes I feel like I’ve never really had a crush and I just convinced myself that I did because I wanted to feel normal… but then maybe that’s false memory ocd??? I don’t really want to be in a long term relationship with a guy and idk about girls but idk if that’s just cos of my age??? Some days I hate the idea of ever dating, marrying or doing anything sexual. Other days I wish my mental / physical health was better so I could date someone! Everything I feel goes up and down a lot and idk why!? I have bad sexual intrusive thoughts that make me unsure whether anything that I think is real and my parents recently split up after not getting along for a few years. I don’t know if it’s my age, my ocd, my parents bad relationship, my sexuality (am I attracted to guys, girls? Am I ace!!!!???) Or something else but I have no idea who I am and I KNOW I’m young and have time but some other perspectives might help???? Can I ever be in a relationship if I have ocd like this? Also I’m really struggling not to compulsively seek reassurance and I don’t know who to talk to about all this irl I know I probably shouldn’t share this with random strangers but also idek if I care anymore 😭
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