- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hummm... I don't know well how to help or start but I will try. First of all, I don't experience OCD by myself so I don't know how feels and functions all of it perfectly, I kinda know a good amount, maybe more than the average, but again, I'm not a professional or know it by myself. I got diagnosed few time ago with GAD and I have some expressions of my anxiety reflected in some obsessive characteristics, more likable as the compulsions of OCD, so I thought entering here could be helpful :) (but I'm also in therapy!). But what I'm trying to tell here is that by bringing my experience I don't want to interference with your obsessions, therapy or recovery, so please acknowledge this. Well, first, how older are you? I'm currently 19, soon 20, but I started questioning my sexuality at 17, and realized I was asexual at early 18 yo. I didn't have relationships experiences before or with kissing or sex and I think that was actually better for me because it let me question what I feel without questioning if something could've interfere it. It felt a lot more free. Also, knowing I am asexual was quite a relief to me because it let me understand a lot of things that I didn't understand before. Well, something useful for understanding this is that: - attraction ≠ action. so, if you feel attraction or not that shouldn't interfere with what you do, you can have sex and be asexual! it sounds quite crazy but actually it's pretty common :) - also, being asexual is different than being aromantic. asexuality is the lack of attraction towards sex with someone, everything that involves something sexual with someone. being aromantic is the lack of romantic attraction towards someone. you can even think that romance and a significant other is awesome and want it and still being aromantic! - sexuality it's a spectrum, it's not black and white. there's also a spectrum between being "sexual" (allosexual actually) and being asexual. for example, if you feel sexual attraction sometimes, or very little, or in weirdly specific situations or towards few persons in your life, chances are that you could be in the gray area of the spectrum. similar happens with being aromantic. - it's okay if you make mistakes. there's nothing wrong with having a tag that functions for yourself and then funding out that you were wrong; it happens, you don't harm anyone by mistaking it. - use what works better for you. as i said, "feelings before tags"; if tagging yourself as asexual helps you feeling better and understanding better you, then use it! if you find it caging and feel better without it, that's fine as well! if you are still confused and doesn't want to tag yourself you could think of "questioning" or not having a tag and it's perfectly fine, a lot of people do it. - sexuality is fluid, so it can change. so there's no problem with changing it (what I said before haha) - thinking yourself as asexual or not doesn't change what your future will be, you just understand yourself better and that, there's no consequences with it (search the song: "For me - Dearlie" in youtube if it helps you :) )
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thanks so much! I don’t really think I’m asexual because I think about sex at least once a week and I do want to be in a relationship! Today I went to the grocery-store and I saw a really cute cashier and he liked me and all I did was get happy no weird feeling! And I can’t really relate to that song it’s a really good song though!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Me too. It’s frustrating. It’s like “that’s not what you really want. Stop thinking about it “
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes plz help
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes it exactly like “are you sure you sure you want a boyfriend maybe you don’t want one” and it’s kinda the them of ocd I really want a boyfriend but I just can’t imagine having one maybe it’s because I’m on the theme of asexual ocd or am I really asexual
- Date posted
- 5y ago
But here is the thing I don’t think I’m asexual because when I get a little older I really do want sex
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes. It’s like I kinda want it. But i just don’t know with who. It’s like I lost all my interest in guys at the moment. Now when someone mentions a relationship I almost always after I trying to imagine myself with a guy a picture of myself with a girl pops up. It’s frustrating and it’s creeping me out. I just don’t know
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@idont241 me too omg. It feel so horrible like I just wanna be normal and have a boyfriend but then apart of me just freaks out and gets anxiety every time I’d think of boys. Like I’d date a man but not a boy but then o don’t wanna wait till I’m 30 to have my firts ever relationship
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Same but like it feels forced like ocd forced and It is now just no one I picture or it’s a girl it use to be a boy
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I can totally relate. It’s exhausting
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I'm happy that it helped you!! And that you heard the song, it's quite nice tbh! Well, I can say that I don't think about sex (in absolutely) but I kinda want to be in a relationship, just without sex involving it. And I didn't get the weird feeling? If it's something that you thought we feel or something that you felt before for you? idk Anyways, I'm happy that I could help something, and hope you feel better with yourself by finding that advice ☺️; it doesn't matter if you aren't asexual, at least I could help and bring also a bit of asexual awareness which is quite nice ;)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
That great! With my hocd my sex drive has been lost but it’s starting to come back and I definitely do want sex one day and I tbh like I said once a week or every 2
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hehe hi, I'm actually asexual and could help with it (but would I trigger or increase your obsessions with it? Anyways, about sexuality it's not good to pressure yourself tagging you. Have this advice: "First goes feelings, then tags" :)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Right!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
- Students with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- OCD newbies
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 10w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- OCD newbies
- Students with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 8w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond