- Date posted
- 5y ago
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hummm... I don't know well how to help or start but I will try. First of all, I don't experience OCD by myself so I don't know how feels and functions all of it perfectly, I kinda know a good amount, maybe more than the average, but again, I'm not a professional or know it by myself. I got diagnosed few time ago with GAD and I have some expressions of my anxiety reflected in some obsessive characteristics, more likable as the compulsions of OCD, so I thought entering here could be helpful :) (but I'm also in therapy!). But what I'm trying to tell here is that by bringing my experience I don't want to interference with your obsessions, therapy or recovery, so please acknowledge this. Well, first, how older are you? I'm currently 19, soon 20, but I started questioning my sexuality at 17, and realized I was asexual at early 18 yo. I didn't have relationships experiences before or with kissing or sex and I think that was actually better for me because it let me question what I feel without questioning if something could've interfere it. It felt a lot more free. Also, knowing I am asexual was quite a relief to me because it let me understand a lot of things that I didn't understand before. Well, something useful for understanding this is that: - attraction ≠ action. so, if you feel attraction or not that shouldn't interfere with what you do, you can have sex and be asexual! it sounds quite crazy but actually it's pretty common :) - also, being asexual is different than being aromantic. asexuality is the lack of attraction towards sex with someone, everything that involves something sexual with someone. being aromantic is the lack of romantic attraction towards someone. you can even think that romance and a significant other is awesome and want it and still being aromantic! - sexuality it's a spectrum, it's not black and white. there's also a spectrum between being "sexual" (allosexual actually) and being asexual. for example, if you feel sexual attraction sometimes, or very little, or in weirdly specific situations or towards few persons in your life, chances are that you could be in the gray area of the spectrum. similar happens with being aromantic. - it's okay if you make mistakes. there's nothing wrong with having a tag that functions for yourself and then funding out that you were wrong; it happens, you don't harm anyone by mistaking it. - use what works better for you. as i said, "feelings before tags"; if tagging yourself as asexual helps you feeling better and understanding better you, then use it! if you find it caging and feel better without it, that's fine as well! if you are still confused and doesn't want to tag yourself you could think of "questioning" or not having a tag and it's perfectly fine, a lot of people do it. - sexuality is fluid, so it can change. so there's no problem with changing it (what I said before haha) - thinking yourself as asexual or not doesn't change what your future will be, you just understand yourself better and that, there's no consequences with it (search the song: "For me - Dearlie" in youtube if it helps you :) )
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Thanks so much! I don’t really think I’m asexual because I think about sex at least once a week and I do want to be in a relationship! Today I went to the grocery-store and I saw a really cute cashier and he liked me and all I did was get happy no weird feeling! And I can’t really relate to that song it’s a really good song though!
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes plz help
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yes it exactly like “are you sure you sure you want a boyfriend maybe you don’t want one” and it’s kinda the them of ocd I really want a boyfriend but I just can’t imagine having one maybe it’s because I’m on the theme of asexual ocd or am I really asexual
- Date posted
- 5y ago
But here is the thing I don’t think I’m asexual because when I get a little older I really do want sex
- Date posted
- 5y ago
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- Date posted
- 2y ago
@idont241 me too omg. It feel so horrible like I just wanna be normal and have a boyfriend but then apart of me just freaks out and gets anxiety every time I’d think of boys. Like I’d date a man but not a boy but then o don’t wanna wait till I’m 30 to have my firts ever relationship
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Same but like it feels forced like ocd forced and It is now just no one I picture or it’s a girl it use to be a boy
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I'm happy that it helped you!! And that you heard the song, it's quite nice tbh! Well, I can say that I don't think about sex (in absolutely) but I kinda want to be in a relationship, just without sex involving it. And I didn't get the weird feeling? If it's something that you thought we feel or something that you felt before for you? idk Anyways, I'm happy that I could help something, and hope you feel better with yourself by finding that advice ☺️; it doesn't matter if you aren't asexual, at least I could help and bring also a bit of asexual awareness which is quite nice ;)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
That great! With my hocd my sex drive has been lost but it’s starting to come back and I definitely do want sex one day and I tbh like I said once a week or every 2
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Hehe hi, I'm actually asexual and could help with it (but would I trigger or increase your obsessions with it? Anyways, about sexuality it's not good to pressure yourself tagging you. Have this advice: "First goes feelings, then tags" :)
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Right!
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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- Date posted
- 11w ago
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
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