please respond!!!!

Struggling with Tocd and soocd and when I finally feel feminine again and feel like my attraction towards men is back I feel like it’s all wrong and get super anxious and like don’t know what to do because I almost feel like a different person and I just get so confused I can’t tell if that’s ocd or not and I don’t want to change my body (I’m a woman and want to stay that way) but I can’t feel confident or comfortable ever and when I do it’s so foreign now that I freak out I’m so hyper aware of my being that I feel so existential all the time and I feel like I can’t make connections with anyone anymore because I feel like I’m not being genuine or something like my life feels like it’s falling apart I’m so exhausted of fighting this because of the mental and physical toll this is taking on me but I don’t want to do anything to change myself or to hurt myself but I get such overwhelmingly suffocating feelings sometimes

Username: khm

Date posted: 140d ago

i haven’t even been in a romantic relationship long term with someone in person and at this point I’m so scared to I don’t want to do this anymore I hate it

Username: khm

Date posted: 140d ago

@khm every time I try to fix it too or just try to feel better and get a break from constantly fighting myself about this my brain tells me I can be a woman but I have to be in relationships with women or I can be with men but I have to be a guy and it’s just always a lose lose situation

Username: rmsh231

Date posted: 140d ago

OCD does not have to determine who you are.

Username: khm

Date posted: 140d ago

@rmsh231 I try to tell myself this but everything has been so hard these past couple of months and I try to remind myself of who I want to be in this moment and who I want to be with (romantically) and that’s being a woman and then being with men but then something just triggers me again

Username: vietanh

Date posted: 140d ago

In case you're still in trauma, Im here with you, suffering from the same thing, the tocd You are not alone Please have hopes and keep on living, finding things that help you Best wishes.